[Xingqiu: Impossible!]
[Chongyun: Azhdaha… sealed himself?!]
[The Mishearing Maniac: Sadly, yes — that's the correct answer.┐(￣ヘ￣)┌]
[Ningguang: Then tell us—what rewards did everyone receive?]
One by one, the "winners" flaunted their prizes.
[Beidou: Hahaha! I got a ship! Says here it's called the Thousand-Li Sunshine!]
[Cloud Retainer: Hmph. A "Thousand-Mechanism Umbrella." Ingenious craftsmanship… clearly inspired by Guizhong.]
[Shenhe: A phoenix-coronet wedding dress. Enchanting… but impractical.]
[Xiao: …I grew one centimeter taller.]
[Ganyu: I received a full cart of zero-calorie Qingxin. They smell wonderful.]
[Qiqi: Coconut milk. It tastes… very good.]
[Hu Tao: Fufufufu~ my prize is the Golden Emperor's Heaven-Burning Flame! A foreign 'different fire' that can incinerate space itself! Hehehe!]
While the lucky ones celebrated, the unfortunate were wailing in misery.
[Arataki Itto: My punishment is to eat ONE POUND OF BEANS! Is this system trying to kill me?!]
[Paimon: Huh? Beans? That's it? Sounds easy!]
[Kuki Shinobu: Oni biology. Boss Itto gets hives from a single bean. A pound is… fatal.]
[Hu Tao: Oh? Would the honored client like to pre-book? Wangsheng offers cross-regional funeral services at very friendly prices!]
[Chongyun: I… have to eat a full plate of Jueyun Chilis…]
[Xingqiu: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Chongyun, forgive me!]
[Sayu: I SHRANK THREE CENTIMETERS! I QUIT! I'M GOING TO SLEEP!!]
[Ayato: Five days without milk tea. Hm. Endurable.]
[Lumine: I can't open treasure chests for HALF A MONTH?! That's not a punishment—that's a death sentence!!]
[Paimon: T-Traveler, calm down—]
[Lumine: First my eyesight, now my LOOT BOXES?! How am I supposed to LIVE?!]
Azhdaha — Private Message
At that moment, Bai Hao's inbox lit up with an enraged message from Azhdaha herself:
"YOU WRETCHED INSECT! I was sealed by MORAX—not myself! What sick joke is this?!"
Her punishment?
She had shrunk… by exactly one centimeter.
Low damage.
Catastrophic humiliation.
"Explain yourself or I'll tear you limb from limb!"
Bai Hao typed leisurely:
"You just have geriatric memory loss, grandma."
"YOU DARE?!"
"If that's true, why did all the Adepti answer correctly?"
"…"
Azhdaha froze.
As much as she hated Morax…
If every Adeptus remembered a different story…
Had her own memories eroded?
Bai Hao delivered the final blow:
"Besides… you wouldn't want Morax to know you've been sneaking out of your seal, right?"
"Are you THREATENING me?!"
No reply.
Just a soft, smug chuckle.
"Don't be mad. Since you were today's… featured star, enjoy the bonus reward."
[Ding! Congratulations, Azhdaha has obtained the World-Ending Word: Shiva Karma Dance!]
Azhdaha went silent.
Memories of that forbidden calamity… that apocalyptic dance… resurfaced in her mind.
"Think it over," Bai Hao said mildly. "Maybe this era still has something new for you."
He closed the chat.
He wasn't about to babysit a six-thousand-year-old dragon-loli.
That was Morax's job.
Public Stream — The World is Traumatized
Opening the public chat, Bai Hao nearly spit blood.
Half of Teyvat was cursing him to the abyss.
Millions who'd seen the cursed "Fat Dragon Dance" were venting their immeasurable spiritual trauma.
He sighed dramatically.
[The Mishearing Maniac: Fine, fine. I'll compensate you. Here—enjoy the original version. You're welcome~ o(￣︶￣)o]
He uploaded the genuine Kamisato Art: Senho — Ayaka's dance.
Download price: 100 Mora.
Immediately, screens across Teyvat flickered—
The grotesque belly-wiggling Azhdaha vanished.
In its place:
Moonlight over a still pond.
Cherry petals drifting softly.
And Ayaka—elegant, serene, her smile like a spring breeze.
"Traveler… please, watch me carefully."
She lifted her fan, humming lightly:
"Hm~ hm~ hm~ hm~ hm~ hm~ hm~…"
Her steps glided like falling snow.
Her sleeves flowed like silver water.
She was beauty incarnate.
Teyvat fell silent.
[Eula: Such grace… incomparable to that dragon nightmare.]
[Chef Mao: My eyes… MY EYES CAN SEE AGAIN!]
[Yunjin: Who is this young lady? Such poise!]
[Thoma: That's Lady Kamisato Ayaka — Inazuma's White Heron Princess!]
[Six-Fingered Joseph: Sublime… my soul feels purified.]
[Dori: If Ayaka and Nilou formed an idol duo, Teyvat's economy would explode! The Mora! The profits! Astronomical!]
Just when the world was melting into bliss—
the video ended.
[Iron Tongue Tian: Eh? Why'd it stop? Isn't it looping?]
[Cecilius: …You only get ONE free viewing? You have to PAY for replays?!]
[Maxim: Even the Northland Bank would hesitate at such greed.]
[Ryoma Kaida: Compared to him, the Shogunate's corruption seems pure!]
[Tarik: Put him in charge of the Eremite Guild treasury!]
[Dongsheng: This man didn't just rob us—he made TWO videos and charged for BOTH! Genius! I'm actually crying!]
Meanwhile—
Bai Hao's system dashboard erupted in the sweetest sound imaginable.
The clink-clink-clink of Mora rolling in like a thunderstorm.
He leaned back, folded his hands behind his head, and smiled.
Another day.
Another fortune.
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