Shwoosh—
Ten streaks of light cut across Bai Hao's system interface. His new haul:
Mistplitter Reforged,
Doraemon's Dorayaki,
Barbara's freshly removed white stockings,
Feast (Cho'Gath's Ultimate),
Mitsuha Miyamizu's Chewed Sake,
Lelouch's Zero Helmet,
Elaina's Witch Hat,
Sakamoto's Black-Rimmed Glasses,
Breathing of the Sun,
One Bottle of Golden Dragon Peanut Oil.
Bai Hao clicked his tongue.
"Feast… isn't that Cho'Gath's ult?"
He picked up the golden card.
It was exactly as he remembered—an infinitely stackable devour skill that granted permanent stat growth every time you consumed something strong.
A growth-type ultimate.
A lazy man's paradise.
"Eat → grow stronger? Perfect."
He crushed the card.
Boom—
An alien energy pulsed into his body. His flesh and bones subtly restructured, his stomach turning into something akin to a miniature black hole. A deep, gnawing hunger rose from within—bottomless, relentless.
He suddenly felt like he could digest anything.
Next, he browsed the remaining rewards.
Mistplitter Reforged
—Keqing's sword. Beautiful, elegant… useless to him. Into the warehouse.
Breathing of the Sun
—now this was valuable. With Sun Breathing, his physical strength would shoot from a measly first-stage Fighter to at least a Great Fighter. Combined with Feast, his survivability would skyrocket.
He crushed that card too.
In an instant, thirteen radiant forms of Sun Breathing seared themselves into his mind—fluid, explosive, perfectly matched to the human body.
Then his gaze drifted to…
Barbara's stockings.
This system really was a degenerate.
And yet…
"Heh… not complaining."
The rest—dorayaki, chewed sake, helmet, hat, glasses, peanut oil—were random knick-knacks. Into storage they went.
Gurgle…!
His stomach roared like a wild beast.
"Ugh… yeah… ever since I got Feast I've been starving nonstop."
He slipped on a crisp silver-white martial outfit and headed for the door.
"Wanmin Restaurant it is."
Liyue Harbor — Evening
The city was bursting with life. Teahouses, food stalls, and street corners buzzed with one topic:
The Teyvat Fan-Creation Livestream System.
Half the city was gossiping joyfully.
The other half was complaining about their punishments.
Chang the Ninth was still halfway through his forced marathon.
Fast-Blade Chen was on day three of mandatory public service.
Chef Mao was literally outside giving away Mora on the street.
Liyue folk were having the time of their lives.
After all, watching chaos was enjoyable—
especially when it happened to someone else.
Everyone was already placing bets on tomorrow's "victim."
Then—
music echoed through the plaza.
"♪ Come on~ be happy~ ♪"
"♪ We've got plenty of time~ ♪"
Bai Hao paused mid-step and turned.
What he saw made him blink.
In the middle of the public park, crowds circled around a young woman in a cyan martial robe—
doing a pole dance.
Except the "pole" was a long spear driven into cracks of the pavement.
She moved with dazzling grace—spinning, flipping, using the spear like a dance prop and weapon both. Her black hair trailed behind her, tied with a golden pin. Her slim figure flowed like moonlit water. Her face—a delicate melon-seed shape—wore a teasing smile, eyes rippling like autumn lakes.
The crowd roared.
"Wooo!! Incredible!"
"Who is she? A noble family's daughter?"
"Her moves are too sharp—she must be trained!"
"This is Fontaine's pole dance style, right?"
"Encore!"
"Marry meee!!"
Bai Hao tilted his head, squinting.
Wait.
Hold up.
Wasn't that…
Madame Ping—when she was young?!
Right—her punishment from yesterday's quiz was:
"Perform an immersive half-hour pole dance in Liyue's central plaza.
(P.S. Remember to be expressive, dear~)"
There was no way Madame Ping would subject Liyue Qixing to the sight of her elderly self doing sensual pole spins with a cane. Even an Adeptus had limits.
So she simply reverted to her Ah Ping form—the youthful, legendary beauty she once was.
The audience was eating it up.
But her eyes…
her eyes were dead.
She danced flawlessly to the system's upbeat music, collected Mora tossed by enthusiastic spectators, and smiled gracefully—
—but her expression screamed:
"I no longer wish to live."
Bai Hao let out a long sigh, bowing his head for three seconds in a moment of silence.
"Farewell, Madame Ping's dignity."
Then he turned and continued toward Wanmin Restaurant.
Some truths…
were best never spoken aloud.
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