[First Hokage, Hashirama Senju]:
Sigh... Little Tsunade... Forget it, this is just too hard. Too hard!
[Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju]:
Big Brother, I actually think it's just right.
Because this is the real Tsunade.
["Less Immature Than Tsunade-sama" @ "Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
Hahaha! You were just saying how drinking in broad daylight isn't proper,
then boom—you're in a bar!
That might be the fastest slap in the face in history!
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
I went to the bar for a reason!
@Jiraiya, didn't you threaten me earlier,
saying if I didn't go with you to the bar,
you wouldn't tell me the intel you found?
[Jiraiya]:
Yes, yes, you're beautiful, and everything you say is right!
Scene continues:
Jiraiya tells Tsunade:
"The leader of Akatsuki is in the neighboring Amegakure.
I'm going to infiltrate and gather intel so we can form a proper battle plan."
Tsunade firmly objects:
"No, it's too dangerous to go alone!"
Jiraiya responds:
"Our mission is to set an example for future generations.
I'll smile and stake my life on that goal."
Tsunade drinks heavily.
Despite her high tolerance, she starts to feel tipsy.
She doesn't want Jiraiya risking his life—
doesn't want this drink to become their farewell.
In the twilight, the two fifty-somethings sit on a bench.
Jiraiya takes a deep breath:
"Time to go."
Tsunade, seriously:
"Come back alive.
If you die too… then I…"
Jiraiya, to ease her worry, proposes:
"Let's bet on it—
You bet that I'll die.
You always lose your bets, right?
So when I return alive and win this bet… you…"
Tsunade looks up at him.
Jiraiya laughs it off:
"Just kidding.
Happiness isn't something a man like me should pursue."
Tsunade, a bit annoyed:
"Stop acting cool.
And watch out for Danzo and Root.
Goodbye."
Jiraiya disappears into the sunset.
Tsunade sheds tears—
this farewell feels different from the rest.
Chat Group:
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman" @ Jiraiya]:
Jiraiya, I'm sorry.
You died in the future—for the village,
for the future…
But also because I didn't stop you.
If only I had been firmer,
maybe you wouldn't have died.
[Jiraiya]:
Hahaha! Tsunade, don't worry about it.
A man walks his own path!
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
I'm being serious—
Why are you joking again?
[Jiraiya]:
I am serious!
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
Sigh…
[Jiraiya]:
Tsunade, are you dumb? That's the future.
Now that we've seen the footage,
we know about Akatsuki and Pain.
I don't have to go risk my life anymore.
So I won't die the way I did.
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
Well… that's true.
Anyway, from now on, you better live well!
[Jiraiya]:
Got it! I promise.
Then… about us…
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
Us?
What about us?
[Jiraiya]:
...
No one else chimed in.
Everyone originally wanted to roast Jiraiya—
because they all knew how that story ended.
But after witnessing the sincere bond between him and Tsunade,
everyone tacitly chose to stay silent—
leaving the chat for just the two of them.
At an inn near a casino—
Tsunade gazed out the window toward the direction of Konoha,
lost in thought, sighing deeply.
Meanwhile—
Jiraiya had returned to Konoha,
smiling ear to ear, walking toward the Chunin Exam venue.
This scroll is amazing!
Not only do I avoid dying like that…
It looks like I might finally find happiness too!
Hahaha!
Jiraiya burst into loud laughter.
Passersby were puzzled at first,
but upon recognizing him, they shrugged it off. Typical Jiraiya.
Seeing that neither Jiraiya nor Tsunade was speaking in the chat,
the rest of the group began to talk.
[First Hokage Hashirama]:
Tsunade, it really looks like you've grown up.
[Uzumaki Mito]:
Dear, it looks like the Senju clan might be getting a new member soon~
[Second Hokage Tobirama @ Hiruzen & Danzo]:
Tsunade, when you have a kid, let me be their teacher.
I need to prove that I can raise a decent student.
These two clowns disappointed me too much.
[Third Hokage Hiruzen]:
…
Hiruzen, once again hit out of nowhere, could only respond with ellipses.
Danzo, as usual, remained silent—playing dead.
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
What are you all even talking about?!
["Less Immature Than Tsunade-sama"]:
Old woman, I won't roast you this time.
But hey—you're 50 now.
It's time to think about your personal life.
Unlike me, who's still young and gorgeous.
I've got no rush! Hahaha!
["Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]:
That's not roasting me?!
I'm 50 and still have people chasing me.
You're young and beautiful,
yet no one's after you—how unattractive must you be?!
Thus—
Tsunade and Mei Terumi resumed their daily roast battle.
Or rather—mutual destruction.
Scene continues:
Tsunade receives terrible news from a Toad Sage messenger.
Her dear friend and teacher—
All of them are dead.
Not a single one survived.
Tsunade stumbles against a wall,
grief and helplessness overwhelming her,
like the trauma from her hemophobia returning.
But she can't collapse.
She's the Fifth Hokage.
She has to protect Konoha—
and ensure Jiraiya's sacrifice isn't in vain.
She is not alone.
She still has the entire village—
and a boy who carries the will of Nawaki, Dan, and Jiraiya:
Uzumaki Naruto.
Chat Group:
[Naruto]:
I didn't know I meant that much to Granny Tsunade…
I'll do my best—I won't let her down!
[First Hokage @ Tsunade]:
You still have me.
Even if I can't be revived,
I'll always be here in the chat.
[Second Hokage]:
Me too—I'll always be around.
[Uzumaki Mito]:
And me!
Anytime you need me,
just @ me in the chat!
[Third Hokage @ Tsunade]:
Ahem—I'm still alive, you know.
[Jiraiya]:
I'm also still alive!
And since I won't die in the future anymore,
you don't have to worry like that!
[All of Konoha @ Tsunade]:
Tsunade-sama!
You have all of us too!
Everyone expected Tsunade to be touched.
But instead—
[Tsunade]:
Are you guys trying to comfort me or piss me off?!
You all keep @ing me—
Are you just trying to make everyone read my ridiculous username again and again?!
["Less Immature Than Tsunade-sama" @ "Pretending-To-Be-Young Old Woman"]
[Tsunade]:
Immature brat! You looking for trouble?!
Don't think I won't declare war on Hidden Mist Village just because I'm Hokage!
[Mei Terumi]:
Oh? That's your maturity level, huh?
You'd start a war between villages—risking countless lives—just over a nickname?
You really think you're fit to be Hokage?
[Orochimaru @ Tsunade]:
Let's cooperate.
I know Edo Tensei (Reanimation).
I can revive the First and Second Hokage—
and remove the control.
They could be with you in the real world.
Surely now you'll consider my offer?
That's my sincerity.
[Second Hokage]:
Don't agree!
Even if my brother and I must be revived,
it doesn't need to be by him!
Tsunade, study my jutsu instead—you'll figure it out!
Scene continues:
The Akatsuki leader, Pain, launches a full assault on Konoha.
His target: Naruto, the Nine-Tails Jinchūriki.
Naruto ultimately defeats Pain,
and all the Konoha ninja killed in the attack are resurrected.
Naruto becomes the hero who saved the village.
But among those welcoming him back—
Tsunade is not present.
She's in a deep coma, completely unresponsive.
Amid the hectic post-war rebuilding—
a jarring voice breaks the silence.
Danzo:
"We don't know when Tsunade will wake up.
A new Hokage must be appointed immediately."
Danzo had long coveted the Hokage title.
He would not waste this opportunity.
High councilors Homura and Koharu sided with him.
Though Shikaku Nara tried to nominate Kakashi,
his influence wasn't enough.
And so, Danzo finally achieved his ambition—
becoming Acting Hokage.
[To Be Continued…]
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