"Tch, if this lord isn't told, this lord doesn't want to know anyway! Instead of wasting time, I might as well pray to Lord Jashin one more time."
Hidan eventually walked out of the cave, grumbling. Once outside, he found a comfortable spot and began his routine prayers, clutching his Jashin pendant.
Inside the cave, Kakuzu, who had seen Hidan out, returned.
"He's praying, so he definitely won't come eavesdropping. You can speak now."
Kakuzu stared intently at Bai Mo. There seemed to be an invisible pressure. If any detail went wrong, Kakuzu would immediately begin to suspect if Bai Mo's previous "pie in the sky" was also problematic.
"No problem. Before I begin, I need to confirm, everyone should know Hidan's ability, right?"
Bai Mo moved a wooden stand to a higher position. Pain silently stood to the side, yielding the central position.
"Yes."
Kakuzu replied indifferently.
"Nonsense, of course, I know. That guy has no intention of hiding anything, he's incredibly arrogant! Doesn't he know that intelligence is the most important thing for a ninja?"
Deidara grumbled with a look of disdain.
"You're not much better yourself."
Sasori, nestled in his Hiruko puppet, let out a hoarse voice.
In short, after a round of discussion, everyone knew Hidan's abilities and his personality flaws. For example, they knew Hidan was currently praying outside and would absolutely not profane his "Lord Jashin" by eavesdropping. As for how Bai Mo, this newcomer, knew Hidan's abilities, the Akatsuki members tended to believe Leader Pain had informed this "provisional strategist." So, they didn't find it strange.
"Hidan's Curse Technique: Death Controlling Possessed Blood is very powerful. As long as he obtains the enemy's blood, Hidan can synchronize the damage he receives to the enemy. And he himself doesn't die from fatal injuries. So the key to his ability lies in—how to obtain the enemy's blood."
Bai Mo took out a stack of papers he had prepared and began pasting them onto the wooden stand—a low-tech version of a PPT.
"My initial idea was to find a way to get the Aburame clan's insect secret technique from Konoha and have Hidan contract a mosquito summoning beast..."
"My god, that's so perverted?"
As soon as Bai Mo explained his discarded plan, Deidara, who was swatting away mosquitoes in the cave, was stunned.
"The problem with this plan is that if the Aburame clan's secret technique were stolen, Konoha would definitely become alert and specifically guard against related insects. Even the Aburame clan's insects have very poor concealment from sensory ninja. If there are too few mosquitoes, the blood they suck isn't enough for Hidan to use his ability once. If there are too many, it's easy to expose. Moreover, given Hidan's devout faith in Jashin, whether he would even be willing to contract a summoning beast is another matter. So, this plan was quickly rejected by me."
"Following that, there were some other plans, such as disguising ourselves as a neutral medical organization and promoting voluntary blood donation, but those were also rejected by me one by one."
Bai Mo spoke from above, and even though he talked for a long time without getting to the main point, the Akatsuki members listened with great interest, not feeling bored at all. Perhaps it was because of the "PPT", or perhaps because Bai Mo's ideas were novel and his logic meticulous.
"Finally, I settled on a perfect plan. The only flaw in this plan is that Hidan must not know about it. Zetsu."
Bai Mo suddenly pointed to the "pitcher plant" below.
"Hmm?"
Black and White Zetsu looked puzzled.
"Zetsu is responsible for intelligence gathering in our organization and is also the best at infiltration and concealment, right? Zetsu, can you infiltrate the Five Great Shinobi Villages?"
Bai Mo knew White Zetsu's terrifying stealth and disguise abilities, but the other Akatsuki members didn't know how powerful Zetsu was in this regard. Bai Mo asked mainly to make the others understand.
"Yes, no problem. So what do I do after infiltrating the Five Great Shinobi Villages?"
White Zetsu answered.
Even if the Five Great Shinobi Villages all had sensory barriers, White Zetsu could infiltrate during barrier rotations or maintenance. Even without that, White Zetsu could contact an outgoing Konoha ninja, copy his chakra, and disguise himself to safely pass through the barrier. White Zetsu's disguise ability, in the original work during the Fourth Great Ninja War, if Uzumaki Naruto hadn't gained the ability to sense malice, it would have been impossible to distinguish friend from foe.
"Just one thing: go to the public restrooms in the Five Great Shinobi Villages, and the restrooms in important ninjas' homes, to collect some things..."
"Huh? Restrooms? You're not asking me to collect poop, are you?"
White Zetsu's expression was somewhat surprised, and even a little shy.
"Uh, no, I'm not."
Bai Mo's mouth twitched. Why are you blushing?
"As everyone knows, girls have 'those few days' every month..."
"Don't look at me."
Konan's face darkened as Bai Mo's gaze shifted to her. But there was nothing she could do; the Akatsuki Organization was male-dominated with only one female member.
Bai Mo retracted his gaze and continued his PPT presentation.
"In other words, Zetsu only needs to collect these discarded sanitary wastes, and with Hidan's ability, it's equivalent to holding the lifeline of the entire ninja world!"
As soon as Bai Mo finished speaking, the entire cave fell silent, as if everyone had died. Especially Konan, the only female. Her breathing even stopped. Almost instantly, Konan decided that from now on, she would burn all her waste on the spot to avoid encountering a pervert like Bai Mo.
"No, Bai Mo, what do you mean by looking at me like that? I'm seriously proposing a plan! Do you all think there's something wrong with this plan?"
Bai Mo noticed Konan looking at him with the gaze one would give a pervert and immediately felt a bit displeased.
"There is a problem. What about male ninja?"
Konan took a deep breath, calmed herself, and asked.
"As is well known, nine out of ten men have hemorrhoids. Someone like Tsuchikage Ōnoki, who can throw out his back just by walking, definitely has hemorrhoids. White Zetsu just needs to collect the bloodstains when he wipes. As for someone like Raikage, who is strong and healthy and may not have hemorrhoids, it doesn't matter. As long as we have enough samples, it's like having countless hostages. Those whose blood we can't get will still be intimidated, unless they are emotionless loners."
Bai Mo provided the explanation.
"Right, right, right, that old man Ōnoki has hemorrhoids! I know that!"
Deidara excitedly gesticulated.
"...Too perverted."
Konan sighed.
"No wonder it has to be kept from Hidan. Given Hidan's personality, if he knew where the blood came from, he would definitely feel it was an 'act of profaning his Lord Jashin' and would refuse."
Kakuzu, however, didn't find it perverted at all. He calmly analyzed the situation.
Sasori said nothing, squatting in Hiruko and feeling relieved that he had already discarded his flesh body, so he didn't have to worry about such a pervert targeting his hemorrhoids.
This chapter ends here, but the story is far from over.
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