Riven's Pov
I was at the balcony of the palace, peeping down at the training grounds. A band of adolescent she-wolves danced, their hips and body moving to the music.
They were practicing for tomorrow- my eighteenth birthday.
I should have been down there dancing with them, and smiling as though I had no troubles in the world. But I wasn't like them. I never could be. I was born one of them, but I was not even allowed to relish thay before life placed a lie over me.
I had a lump in my throat, and I could not hold a tear down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I
Presently I heard the footsteps of a person behind me. I did not need to turn around and know who it was.
Riven, my mother named, What hast thou here to do? You are to be in your room taking a rest.
I turned around and faced her. Luna Helena Blackwood was as elegant as usual.
"Fresh air," I replied.
I looked again at the girls, the skirts of which were fluttering about them as they laughed.
Mother had to have noticed that I was shifting my mood because she stared at me. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"Mother," I said softly. Have you ever wondered... what my life would have been, had I been a girl only? If I didn't have to pretend?"
Her whole body tensed. "Riven,Not here."
She pulled me along before I could say another word and shut the doors to the balcony behind us. She moved quick, and only stopped where we were in her room and the doors were closed.
Then she turned about, and spoke in a constricted voice. Do not say so again, I said. "Do you understand me? It is a very unsafe thing to say-- even in this palace.
"I know," I said, my voice small. "But it's not fair, Mother."
She made no relaxation of her guard, and her eyes were softened somewhat. This is life whether we like it or not.
I am tired and sick of acting, I said, and my voice trembled. Every single day when I wake up, I look in the mirror and I find another person. The way in which they treat me like I were one of the Alpha boys, the way in which they desire me to be head... I do not even know who I am now anymore.
She sighed, and sat down beside her bed, and beckoned me to sit beside her. I did.
In Riven, she began with a lighter tone. You remember what it used to be when you were not born?
I nodded faintly. You have recounted the story to me.
You will hear it again, then, she said. Because you are not aware of what is at stake.
She hesitated, sucking in her breath. Months before you were born our pack was attacked. The head of the warriors was Alpha Darius. He fought to his last gasp, to this country, to his own folk, to us. He won that fight but he had died. And when it was known that I was bearing a child, the pack awaited with hope-- hoping that it must be a boy.
I swallowed hard. I had read and heard this story too many times, which I could not count, but it always impressed me in the same way.
When you were born and I saw you were a girl I was hysterical, said she. "The pack was already weak. Alphas of enemy lands were circling like vultures. They wanted the Silver Crest throne. I would have given them the truth had I told them. Strangers would have owned the earth your father had died toiling on.
then she looked full in the face at me, and her eyes were sharp. "So yes, I lied. I said I gave birth to a son. And eighteen years have you been that son. You have dug, fought and acted like a brother. And because of that lie our pack has lived.
Her words sank deep. I knew she was right. This I had heard a thousand times, and was able to repeat it. However, this did not cause the pain in the heart to be reduced.
You suppose I wanted this of you? she continued. You suppose I would like to see you hide? No, Riven. But had it been a girl in the open they would have stolen it all. You would have lost the throne of your father, and I would have lost you, we would have lost the pack.
The voice broke a little at the end. That almost never happened.
"I know, Mother," I said quietly. "I just... I do not want to continue lying any more. I want to be like myself, at least a day.
She touched me and grabbed my hand. "You can't, Riven. You are the hope of this pack. You are its future. You are my son,--although the world is ignorant of the fact.
I raised my eyes to her and shook my head. "I understand,"
"Good," she said softly. I know it is not easy, but all I have done is to save you.
We sat in silence for a moment.
She was about to say another word, when there came a knock on the door.
We both froze.
Helena stood up quickly. "Keep still, she said, and went to unlock the door."
One of the council messengers bowed his head. "Greeting Luna. I come bearing need. It is a message of the Council of Elders, Luna Helena, and I give it to you," he said as he handed mother a sealed scroll.
She was grateful and closed the door after him.
"What is it?" I asked.
She looked up and told me in a low voice, "it was a message of the council... there would be a meeting on the night of your eighteenth birthday."
"Why? Why does the council want to meet all of a sudden?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.