Fukashima POV.
I walked to school alone again today, yet again. I feel completely empty inside.
Most people around school have completely accepted it, including me. The only person that I know that hasn't, is his own family.
Haruki...is dead. No one has heard or seen him for a long time now.
We killed Haruki.
I killed him...
...
Rumor spread early on about him drowing himself, in an area where it was low visibility, so his body couldn't be recovered. It was...terrible. I know that's all they are, but I still can't help but feel terrible.
I've lost weight from the stress, so I'm starting to look extremely skinny.
...
If he was still alive, they would have found him by now, even the police have switched it to finding a body instead of a missing person.
This is Satomi's fault...I want to wring her neck. I want HER to take his place instead. Why did...he have to die like this?
Why did this even happen? All because some gyaru bitch wanted some pocket money? She killed the person I...loved?
...
She's still imprisoned, and had an additional charge in third degree murder now, so she isn't being let out anytime soon.
This is his retribution, this is the fruit of her efforts, at least she's being fully charged for her crimes.
I am too, in a way. This is my punishment for myself, lifelong guilt.
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I quit all after school activities, I have no motivation for anything anymore. I want...to die with him.
We played together as a kid, in much happier times, but now there's nothing in my heart but indifference towards it.
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I hate myself.
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My last words to him were "Don't talk to me, you rapist!"
Nothing will make this better. I have nothing in my heart anymore besides hatred.
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I don't even check my phone often anymore, only the occasional update from Haruki's family.
It seems that they're still looking, but even the school has stopped their search parties. Sometimes, I feel hope. Like what if there was a sign that he was still alive?
Then...I remind myself. Hope doesn't exist. I killed the person I love the most.
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Then, I opened my phone, and I rarely do anymore, but I felt the need to for some reason.
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Message: Read.
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Contact: Haruki.
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...huh...?
Wha-what was I reading...?
Does someone...have his phone...?
...
No, they can't. He took it with him, his family knew that.
...
...
I immediately took off running.
Oh...my god...
....
I couldn't breathe.
I burst through the school gates, ignoring the teachers yelling behind me. My shoes slapped against the pavement, heart hammering in my chest like a drum, yet my legs weren't moving fast enough, and my mind was racing even faster.
Please, please let this be real.
I opened the message thread again as I ran, just to be sure I wasn't hallucinating.
[Delivered – May 11th]
"Haruki, I'm sorry. Please. I didn't mean any of it. You were my best friend. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
[Read – Yesterday, 19:27]
He saw it.
He saw it.
He's alive.
He's alive...!
...
A sharp sting of tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision, but I didn't stop running. My chest ached, every breath sharp and shallow, but I didn't care.
My feet felt light, as if the world was catching fire beneath them.
I had to find Ayumi, his family needed to know.
...
I needed to tell someone that there was hope.
Haruki was out there; he was still alive.
And maybe, just maybe, we still had time to make things right. We need to find him.
Maybe I...can finally apologize.
I need to bring him home no matter what.
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...
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Chisaki POV.
We finally moved in properly; my father applied for a separate branch of work at his company here in Kawasaki and it was approved fairly quickly.
...
I'm glad.
We can finally start a new life here, I can forget about everything.
Well...
I don't think I can forget, I think it's always going to stay with me.
But I can at least try to get past it now, what I did to that poor boy.
...
Last I heard he still hadn't been found, and they stopped the search party that was looking for him.
I hope he isn't dead.
...
But now, I can start anew, and I can show myself and my family that I'm not just a shadow of some spoiled brat.
I'm my own person.
But I heard they tagged on a lot of charges to Satomi.
They're even saying she could be put in prison for a long time, but that's just rumors. They forget she's just a minor.
To be honest, she deserves some correction, and so do I. This is our punishments.
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I'm sorry.
I never meant to do this to you Haruki, I just wanted to make my friends laugh, and I'm sorry it was at your expense.
I'm sorry I hurt you like this.
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My punishment is uprooting my life and forgetting everyone in Saitama.
I think this is enough, isn't it Haruki? Is it enough to forgive myself?
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I'm not sure.
We moved to a nice neighborhood, my parents still need to sell the house in Saitama but we were able to move into a high-end apartment fairly quickly.
The paperwork didn't take long, and my father is fairly well off enough to outright pay the down payment.
So there was no issues there.
...
I start school next week, it's a smaller school than Saitama, and I promised to no longer participate in any club activities in fear of meeting someone from Saitama.
I just wish I could take everything back.
I never wanted all of this to happen.
I ruined everything, we...did, and I'm sorry.
But now, I need to start new. I think I'll be happy here.
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Yet I'll never forget the boy who may have killed himself because of me.
I'll never forget this, I'll carry this weight with me, even in my new life.
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Satomi POV.
When did everything go wrong.
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The cell is cold, and lonely. All I have are my thoughts. Even my parents have darkened eyes when they talk with me.
They're constantly disappointed in me...their daughter is rotting in a jail cell.
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The small things get to me a lot more here, I can't even use the bathroom without being watched.
I can't do my makeup anymore.
And I can't style my hair more than a bun.
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My lawyer said they're going to try and sentence me as an adult for murder, and that I need to prepare myself.
I'm scared...
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep in my cell, the food is terrible, and my parents haven't visited me in weeks...
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I'm sorry...I never meant for it to go this far.
When they came in and told me they're adding on an extra charge I was so scared.
Third degree murder...?
What happened? Murder? I-I didn't do that?!
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Then...they told me. Haruki...was likely dead.
huh...?
He's...dead...?
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His body hasn't been found...
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No, did I kill him? What did he do? Fuck fuck fuck fuck....
WHAT DID HE DO?!
NO GOD PLEASE...
please...
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I was inconsolable. I nearly hurt myself crying so hard. I wasn't a murderer I never wanted to kill anyone or make anyone kill themselves.
I ruined my entire life, for what, a few hundred thousand yen?
Is that how much a life is worth to me?
I'm an irredeemable monster.
I took someone else's life for money...
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Now I'm living in the consequences of my actions. I never thought it would catch up to me like this, but it did.
And I can never take it back.
I want to go to school again, I want to eat candy and laugh with my friends...
And I want to say I'm sorry to Haruki.
But now, I'll never be able to again.
They said I'm going to be put in prison most likely.
I'm scared, so scared. I'm only seventeen...where did it all go wrong?
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It was when I asked out Haruki, wasn't it?
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I talk to myself a lot, and my thoughts go round and around and around again.
Everything repeats itself, and now I'm getting into a routine.
I'm used to this, which scares me.
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Even if I get out, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'll never go back to school at Kobayashi again, it will be hard finding a job in Tokyo because I have a record now.
And I already lost all of my friends, including Chisaki.
No one has even replied to any of my letters.
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I'm truly alone now.
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Is this how Haruki felt after I accused him? Told everyone he touched me?
I wish I could slap myself back then.
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I'll never do it again, please...please let this end.
Let me be human again.
Let me atone for myself, or at least give me that chance.
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Out of nowhere, my lawyer walked in.
The bars opened, and the guards waved at me to escort to a backroom.
Yet, they put handcuffs on me like I was an animal.
I was only seventeen....
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"They're dropping the murder charge on you."
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...what...? Is this...real?
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"Th-they found him...?"
"No, they haven't found him yet. But his phone was turned on, and active yesterday."
"He's not dead, Satomi."
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I started sobbing immediately.
My palms turned towards my eyes and dug inside.
Please.
Please....
My efforts have paid off, and my prayers have reached God.
He was alive.
Maybe... I have a chance of getting out of here...