It always starts when I sleep. As my soul ascends through my body, I feel my Corx - the force that keeps my soul alive - deplete rapidly. I continue to ascend further and further, every passing second torture to my soul. And right when it feels like it's all about to end, my life, my future, everything - I hear a click.
The Land of Dreams. That is what Rika, the Goddess of Dreams, calls the land she rules. Beautiful white bridges utop giant fluffy clouds. It is always dawn there - not one soul who lives on the Land of Dreams has ever seen the darkness of the night. Huge waterfalls surround the gaps which are devoid of clouds, and there is a huge golden road which leads..somewhere.
You may now ask yourselves - why don't I know where it leads to?
After all, it's not like I'm bound to any spiritual force which forces me to go only one way - that is not the case. So why can't I peek beyond the horizon?
Well, to put it simply, I can. And yet every time I do, right as I approach the horizon of the golden road - something happens. I don't know what it is yet, but it feels like my entire body goes into electric shock and then my mind gets so heavy all of a sudden, like somebody is putting an incomprehensible amount of weight on my head which causes my brain to short-curcuit and wake me up. And after I wake up - I forget everything.
Everything except a silky white rope.
I do not know what that rope is, why that rope is the last and only thing I remember after I wake up, but it is.
I hear heavy breathing. It's getting louder. I feel sweat that isn't mine. What is going on?? I feel the tightness in somebody's chest. The ever-growing unease and unsettlement within somebody's soul. Their heart..it's..it's about to explode..
It's getting louder, louder..
You must wake up now, darling.
It's time for you to return to the Land of Limitations,..
..the Real World.
I get up so fast it would put a F1 driver to shame. My heart beats in my ears as I stare at a specific spot on my carpeted bedroom floor, my mind racing. My vision is blurry. My clothes feel damp. The air feels hot and humid. My desk lamp is still on. The fan is too. And yet..
I stare at my trembling hands as my mind races. What was that dream? Why did it feel like I was talking to somebody? What the fuck..
And then I see it. My eyes go wide. A single drop. A drop that signifies nothing and then everything. Another drop falls from utop the trees. Another. And another. And another. And..
..another bead of sweat trickles down to the cliff of my forehead and then drops, too, wetting my blanket with a soft pop. I stare at the ever-growing wet blanket in pure shock. Somebody's sweat..unrest in somebody's soul..heart pounding in somebody's chest..
I put a trembling hand to my heart, and I feel it. Beat. Beat. Beat.
It was thumping, not so fast and not so loudly, but it was thumping.
It was thumping.
That somebody was me.
I gasp all of a sudden, too many realisations and dots connection together all too fast, all at once. The dreams I was having that I would forget everytime after I woke up..
..the dreams..they were..
..they were narrated to me..through me.
And that girls voice? It sounded familiar..
Way too familiar.
It was as if the universe, fate itself, was trying to tell me something..
..so why was I so incompetent as to not understand it?
No, no. I was not incompetent. Not at all.
This was some cryptic bullshit that was bestowed upon me without my consent. And there was no way, no way, that I was going to give in to this nonsense. And yet..
..my heart beat loudly once more.
It yearned for more answers. Answers that I could not give it, not now, not ever, since there was no way I was going to go with this. I do not understand it. I probably never will. So why, why..
..should I continue with this hell?