Jong-hyun
A demon. I can't find any other explanation.
Or rather, I think I understand correctly, but I don't want to believe it.
My worst fears can't have come true, it can't have really happened.
I have an unbearable pain throbbing in my chest, I'm cold, I'm barefoot, but I keep running, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one is following me.
My lungs feel like they're bursting, sweat has soaked my clothes, and I can't stop the shaking, but I have to run, put as much distance between myself and that... that 'thing' as possible.
I don't remember where I was, what happened, but opening my eyes and finding that being so close to my face terrified me to death. It spoke to me, but I didn't understand what it said, even though its tone was gentle. I remember its touch on my face: warm and strangely familiar. But his eyes... I felt the chill wash over me and a terrible fear shake me from within, so as soon as he turned his back on me, I ran through the stairwell door and started running.
I cast a desperate glance around me. I don't know where I am, whether I drove there or if they drove me. I feel like I know this place, but I can't orient myself.
Behind me, I hear a roar and I throw myself to the ground, covering my head with my arms. Nothing happens for a few moments, except for several drops of rain that begin to soak me. As if I weren't already soaked enough.
I feel a strong urge to cry, but I swallow and get up, dust off my pants and sigh. A car brushes past me and honks, so I move to the sidewalk.
I don't know what to do, where to go...
I let myself fall against the wall of a shop and look up at the sky.
And then I remember.
Today is the day I was supposed to die.
I raise my right arm and notice dark marks, little crosses starting to fade as the rain runs down them.
I sigh.
Am I dead and gone to hell? Is this the fate of suicides?
And yet everything seems so familiar, so... human. The lights in the distance are those of a hotel, and these buildings around me are shops, homes, offices.
I wrap my arms around myself and am overcome with nostalgia for my family and friends. Where are they? Have they already noticed I'm gone?
I feel my pockets but can't find my phone. Have I lost it?
I don't even dare think of the pain my sister and friends will feel when they receive my message. My heart is heavy.
An ambulance speeds past me with its lights and sirens blaring, followed by two police cars heading toward the place I'm fleeing.
Are they there for me? For that 'demon' of sorts? What if it's not real, but only in my mind?
For some time now, I've been unable to distinguish between what's real and what becomes a "monster" only to me. The feeling of weight, pain, and anguish that envelops me has become more cumbersome day by day.
Here it is again, I feel it taking my hand, whispering in my ear, telling me I have to leave, that it's the only solution to ease my pain and the burden I represent to others. I cover my ears, shake my head, and curl up, trying to push it away. It's destroying me, taking away every shred of energy, every beautiful thought, every feeling of joy. I can't live with it anymore; I feel inadequate and oppressed, having to pretend that everything is fine, that everything that happens is "normal" when nothing normal remains.
Oh, here come the memories again.
I know where I was, and I also know what I was doing. I had decided to turn everything off: my brain, my heart, my feelings, my pain. It was the only solution, and I still believe I should let go, let this voice carry me toward peace.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" a voice screams so close I collapse to the ground.
It's real, I didn't dream it! That monster is here, right in front of me.
He picks me up unceremoniously, and I can't escape his gaze. It's cruel, terrible, a dark, bottomless pit that, I fear, wants to suck me down.
"Kill me... I... I... I don't... care..." I stammer, both from fear and from the cold.
I want to put an end to this anguish, I'm tired of the pain, of the emptiness in my chest. If it has to end at the hands of this demon, so be it!
I close my eyes, waiting for the killing blow, but all I hear is the sound of her panting breath and words—swear words? Since when do demons curse?—too close to my ears.
I don't know if I'm stupid, but I open my eyes out of curiosity and find myself staring at a pale face, furrowed by three dark crescents—one clustered on the forehead and two on the cheeks—and two eyes so intensely blue they pierce my soul.
"Stupid boy, what didn't you understand about 'stay behind me'? Are you deaf? Are you stupid, as well as idiotic?"
She's insulting me, and strangely enough, I understand her. How come I didn't understand her language before?
I rub my hands over my arms and can't articulate a sound.
A nearby roar shakes the sidewalk beneath us, and she frowns.
"I didn't save you from carbon monoxide so you could freeze to death or die at the hands of those infernal bastards. Come on, come with me!"
She rips my shirt off, tearing it and throwing it in a corner, then slips off my sweatshirt and makes me put it on in one move. Then she slips an arm under my shoulder and wraps her arms around my back, pulling me close.
"Don't struggle, we have to hurry."
I don't know why, but I nod.
There's something in her demeanor that reassures me, even though her appearance still terrifies me.
She gives me a long look and asks:
"What's your name?"
"Kim Jong-hyun," I whisper.
She brings her left wrist to her mouth and says:
"Target Jong-hyun recovered. I'm on my way to the destination."
I feel a slight crackling in the air, like an electric shock, then I feel a strong heat enveloping me and I faint.