The descent back to Earth was supposed to be a victory lap. Instead, it was like descending into a salad spinner from hell.
The clouds over City Z weren't grey with smog anymore. They were green. A thick, choking pollen mist blanketed the region. And breaking through the canopy wasn't a skyline of steel and glass—it was a jungle of nightmares.
The S.S. Discount shook violently as vines thicker than skyscrapers whipped at the hull.
"Evasive maneuvers!" Fubuki yelled, telekinetically grabbing the controls. "These things have reach!"
"Hull integrity falling!" Genos reported. "The plant matter is acidic! It's dissolving the shielding!"
Saitama looked out the window. "Is that the convenience store? Why does it have teeth?"
The local 7-Eleven was indeed being consumed by a massive Venus Flytrap-like structure. A streetlamp swatted at a pigeon.
"The planetary biomass has mobilized," Child Emperor said, his eyes glued to the scanners. "The entity known as Gaia has integrated with the biosphere. Every tree, blade of grass, and house plant is now a soldier."
"So, vegans were right?" Garou snorted. "Plants do fight back."
A vine slammed into the ship's engines.
CRUNCH.
"We're going down!" King screamed.
"Crash positions!"
Saitama stood up. "Nah. I got this."
He opened the hatch. The wind smelled like fresh-cut grass and murder.
"Hey! Bushes! Cut it out!"
He jumped onto the attacking vine. He ran down its length, a yellow blur. The vine writhed, thorns shooting out to skewer him.
Saitama broke the thorns like dry twigs. He reached the main stalk rooted in the city center.
"Serious Series: Serious Weeding."
He grabbed the stalk with both hands. He planted his feet. He pulled.
The ground rumbled. A massive root system—stretching for miles beneath the city—was yanked violently upward. Pavement shattered. Buildings tilted.
Saitama ripped the entire block-sized plant out of the earth and tossed it aside.
"Problem solved," he dusted his hands.
But from the hole he created, green sludge erupted. It formed a massive face.
GAIA.
"Parasite?" Saitama pointed at himself. "I pay taxes! Do you pay taxes?"
Gaia shrieked.
Vines shot from every direction, wrapping around Saitama. They tightened, exerting thousands of tons of pressure.
"Squeeze all you want," Saitama said from inside the cocoon. "It's a nice back massage."
Pop.
He burst free, scattering plant matter.
"But seriously," Saitama landed on the sludge-face's nose. "You ruined my neighborhood. Again."
He raised a fist.
"And you made me late for hot pot."
Meanwhile, the S.S. Discount crash-landed in the comparatively safe "Saitama Zone" (the reinforced block around his apartment).
Fubuki kicked the emergency door open. "Everyone out! We need to establish a perimeter!"
Bang and Garou leaped out, immediately engaging a pack of Wolves... literal wolves, made of wood and bark, snarling with sap-dripping jaws.
"Water Stream!" Bang deflected a wooden claw. "These things are tough! Harder than steel!"
"Aim for the knots!" Garou shouted, chopping a wooden wolf in half. "They break at the grain!"
Atomic Samurai sliced through a attacking oak tree. "This is ridiculous! I'm chopping firewood!"
Genos scanned the area. "The biological signal is centralized. Gaia's core consciousness is located in the Ghost Town sector. Deep underground."
"Underground?" Zombieman reloaded. "Why is it always underground?"
"Because roots go down, genius," Tatsumaki snapped, floating above them. She was ripping entire monster-trees out of the ground with telekinesis. "If we want to kill the weed, we have to burn the root."
"We need a tunnel," Child Emperor said. "But the ground itself is fighting us. The earth shifts to block drilling."
Saitama landed next to them, holding a giant flower he'd punched into submission. "Did someone say tunnel?"
He dropped the flower.
"I know a shortcut."
He pointed to a manhole cover. It popped open.
A small head poked out. Not a monster.
It was Manako. The tiny, one-eyed monster guide from the previous Monster Association arc.
"Flashy-sama?" she squeaked. "Baldy-sama?"
"You!" Flashy Flash pointed his sword. "The flashlight monster! You're alive?"
"Barely!" Manako cried. "The roots! They're eating the underground monsters! I hid in a pipe!"
"She can guide us," Saitama said. "She knows the way down."
"She's a monster," Sweet Mask (who had joined them silently) sneered. "She should be purged."
"Hey," Saitama poked Sweet Mask's chest. "She's small. Leave her alone."
Manako scrambled out. "Follow me! There's an old magma vent that leads to the Earth Core Chamber!"
"Magma?" King sweated. "Is there a cooler route?"
"No," Manako said. "But there are shiny rocks!"
The team descended.
The sewers were gone, replaced by pulsating tunnels of flesh and root. It looked like the inside of a giant intestine.
"Gross," Saitama muttered, his boots squelching.
They fought their way down. Plant-monsters attacked from the walls. Roots tried to strangle them.
Genos used his incinerators sparingly to avoid suffocating them in smoke. Flashy Flash used his speed to cut vines before they could grab. Tatsumaki held the ceiling up with her mind.
Finally, they reached a massive cavern.
In the center was a pulsating green heart the size of a mountain. Roots fed into it from all sides.
THE HEART OF GAIA.
Standing in front of it was a figure.
He was shirtless, wearing baggy pants. He had a leaf in his mouth.
It was... Vegetarian-Man? No.
Wait. It was an S-Class Hero. Pig God.
But he looked... different. Slimmer. Green skin. Eyes glowing with photosynthesis energy.
"Welcome," Gaia-Pig God said. His voice was thick like sap. "To the stomach of the world."
"Pig God?" Fubuki gasped. "Did she absorb him?"
"He ate too much salad," Saitama guessed.
"I have become one with the harvest," the infected hero proclaimed. "My hunger is now Her hunger. I will consume you, and we will become compost for the new Eden."
He opened his mouth. It unhinged, revealing a green void.
Gaia-Gulp.
He inhaled.
The suction was immense. Zombieman and Manako were pulled off their feet, flying toward the maw.
"Help!" Manako shrieked.
"No!" Saitama grabbed Manako by her antenna.
He grabbed Zombieman by his coat.
But the suction was pulling everyone.
"We're gonna be fertilizer!" King cried, clinging to a rock.
Saitama looked at the giant green maw.
"Eating my friends is rude," Saitama said.
He picked up a nearby boulder. A huge chunk of granite.
"Eat your vegetables."
He threw the boulder. Serious Throw.
The rock flew into Gaia-Pig God's mouth.
GULP.
The monster-hero swallowed reflexively. The rock went down.
Pig God paused. His stomach bulged. He burped—a shockwave of pollen.
"Too... heavy..." he groaned. The rock was sitting in his stomach like an anchor. He fell over, immobilized by the weight.
"Indigestion," Saitama noted. "Happens to the best of us."
With the guardian down, the Heart was exposed.
"Destroy it!" Tatsumaki shouted. "Twist it!"
She reached out with her mind. But the Heart pulsed. A psychic shockwave hit her back, knocking her out of the air.
"It has a planetary mind-shield!" Fubuki cried, catching her sister.
"Physical attacks!" Bang shouted. "Strike the core!"
Bang and Atomic Samurai rushed forward. Atomic Slash! Roaring Aura Sky Ripping Fist!
They struck the Heart.
BOING.
They bounced off. The surface was rubbery, impact-absorbing.
"It absorbs kinetic energy!" Genos analyzed. "It's converting our attacks into growth!"
Indeed, the Heart beat faster. It grew larger.
"If we hit it, it gets stronger," Child Emperor panicked. "If we leave it, it eats the city. It's a stalemate!"
Saitama walked up to the pulsating green wall of flesh.
He put his ear against it. Thump. Thump.
"It has a heartbeat," Saitama said.
He pulled back his fist.
"Saitama, no! It will absorb the punch!" Genos warned.
Saitama ignored him. He didn't punch at the Heart. He punched past the impact.
He aimed for the rhythm.
Serious Series: Defibrillator Punch.
He hit the Heart right between beats.
WHAM.
The impact didn't bounce. It interrupted the systolic rhythm of the giant organ.
The Heart seized. It shuddered. The green glow turned erratically bright, then dim.
The massive Heart stopped beating.
It began to wither. The green flesh turned brown. The vines in the room slackened and died.
Pig God spat out the boulder and coughed, his skin turning back to normal pink. "More... burgers... less... kale..." he mumbled, passing out.
"It's over," Fubuki breathed. "He gave the planet a heart attack."
The climb back to the surface was quieter.
They emerged into a city covered in dead vines. It looked spooky, but the threat was gone.
"Well," Saitama said, stretching. "That was a weird garden party."
"We saved the world. Again," Garou leaned against a dead tree. "Getting bored yet?"
"I'm getting hungry," Saitama corrected.
"Hey!" A voice called from the street.
A mailman, looking terrified but determined, walked up to them holding a package.
"Are... are you Mr. Saitama?"
Saitama blinked. "Yeah?"
"Special delivery. Priority mail." The mailman handed him a box and ran away fast.
Saitama opened the box.
Inside was a single coupon.
100% OFF EVERYTHING AT CITY Z SUPERMARKET - ONE DAY ONLY.
"Thank you for saving the produce section."
Saitama's eyes filled with tears. Real, shiny tears.
"It... it's beautiful."
He held the coupon up to the setting sun.
"Genos! Fubuki! Get the cart! We're feasting tonight!"
The team watched him celebrate over a piece of paper, surrounded by the ruins of a global crisis.
Bang laughed softly. "The strongest man in the universe... saved by a discount."
As they walked toward the supermarket, laughter echoed through the quiet street. For tonight, at least, the monsters were gone, the gods were silent, and dinner was free.
And somewhere in the distance, a certain cyborg toaster began looking up recipes for premium beef.