Location: The Primordial Sea (Rift Edge)
Current Form: Human
Status: Digesting a galaxy-sized whale, arguing with a cryptic swordswoman
The rift was closing. Neuvillette had returned to the Opera House to manage the civilians. Childe was unconscious, floating like driftwood.
Raiden was about to leave when he felt it.
A tear in space. Not the chaotic tear of a monster, but the precise, surgical cut of a master.
A woman stepped out of the void. She had long lavender hair, a bodysuit that looked like it was woven from the night sky, and an aura of absolute indifference.
Skirk. Tartaglia's Master. Disciple of Surtalogi (The Foul).
She looked at the unconscious Childe. Then she looked at the empty space where the massive whale used to be.
Then she looked at Raiden.
"You," Skirk said, her voice echoing with a strange distortion. "You possess the scent of the Narwhal. Did you kill it?"
"I ate it," Raiden corrected, picking his teeth with a claw. "It was a bit chewy. High in cosmic radiation."
Skirk blinked. It was a subtle movement, but for a being who lived in the darkest corners of the Abyss, it was the equivalent of a jaw drop.
"You... consumed the All-Devouring Narwhal?" Skirk tilted her head. "My Master, Surtalogi, will be... intrigued. He viewed that creature as a pet."
"Tell Surtalogi he should keep his pets on a leash," Raiden crossed his arms. "If it comes into my yard again, I'm eating the owner next."
Skirk's eyes narrowed slightly. She sensed the power rolling off Raiden. It wasn't just Element or Abyssal power. It was Sovereign power, mixed with something alien.
"You are strong," Skirk admitted. "Perhaps stronger than the human I trained. But strength without purpose is merely violence."
She walked over to Childe. She grabbed him by the scruff of his neck like a misbehaving kitten.
"I am taking him," Skirk said. "He is broken. He needs to be reforged."
"Go ahead," Raiden waved. "He's a glutton for punishment anyway. Just make sure he pays me back the Mora he owes me when he wakes up."
Skirk opened a portal. Before she stepped through, she paused.
"The Third Descender's remains... the Gnosis," Skirk said cryptically. "They are misfortunes. You seem to collect misfortunes. Be careful, Glutton. Or you might choke."
"I have a very wide throat," Raiden grinned.
Skirk vanished, dragging Childe into the abyss.
Location: Palais Mermonia, Neuvillette's Office
Time: Two Days Later
The crisis was over. The water had receded. The sun was shining.
Neuvillette sat at his desk. Opposite him was Arlecchino.
Raiden was lounging on the sofa, reading a newspaper ("Steambird Exclusive: The Dragon Who Ate the Apocalypse!").
"The Prophecy has been defied," Arlecchino stated. "Fontaine is safe. The Fatui helped save the nation. I believe our debt is settled."
"Indeed," Neuvillette nodded. "Your assistance in Poisson and the distribution of supplies has been noted. In gratitude..."
Neuvillette opened a drawer. He pulled out the Hydro Gnosis.
"I have no use for this," Neuvillette said, sliding the blue chess piece across the desk. "My authority has returned. This object... is merely a chaotic clump of the Third Descender's remains. It brings only calamity."
Arlecchino took the Gnosis. "A generous gift, Iudex. Her Majesty will be pleased."
She pocketed it, then stood up and looked at Raiden.
"And you?" Arlecchino asked. "You devoured the source of the threat. Do you require payment?"
"I already got my payment," Raiden patted his stomach. "Besides, I don't want that Gnosis. It tastes like grief. You keep it."
Arlecchino nodded. "Very well. The House of the Hearth remembers its allies. Should you ever visit Snezhnaya... try the Borscht. It is to die for."
She turned and left, her heels clicking rhythmically.
"She's dangerous," Neuvillette noted once the door closed.
"She's a father protecting her kids," Raiden shrugged. "Dangerous is good. Now, Neuvillette. We need to talk about the real victim here."
"Lady Furina," Neuvillette looked down at his paperwork. "She has... moved out."
Location: Apartment District, Court of Fontaine
Status: Depressing
Furina sat at a small wooden table in her new, modest apartment. The room was bare. No servants. No spotlights. No applause.
Just silence.
In front of her was a pot of boiling water and a box of Macaroni.
"Okay, Furina," she whispered to herself, her voice trembling. "You can do this. You are a human now. Humans cook pasta. You just... put the pasta in the water."
She dumped the pasta in.
"Now what? Sauce? Do I have sauce?"
She checked the cupboard. Empty. Just salt and despair.
"Oh," Furina sat down, burying her face in her hands. "I'm going to starve. I saved the world for 500 years, and I'm going to die because I can't cook pasta."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
"Open up! Pizza delivery!"
Furina jumped. "Pizza? I didn't order pizza! I don't have Mora!"
The door knob turned. It was locked.
CLICK.
The lock unlocked itself (Metal Magic).
Raiden walked in, carrying two large grocery bags.
"You didn't lock the deadbolt," Raiden critiqued, closing the door with his foot. "Security risk. Also, I can smell the burning pasta from the hallway."
"It's not burning!" Furina ran to the stove. The water had boiled over and extinguished the flame. "Okay, maybe it's failing."
Raiden sighed. He set the bags down.
"Sit," Raiden pointed to the chair.
"But—"
"Sit."
Furina sat.
Raiden rolled up his sleeves. He moved with the efficiency of a master chef (skills acquired from Xiangling).
He drained the pasta. He pulled out fresh tomatoes, basil, cream, garlic, and a block of expensive cheese from his bag. He chopped vegetables at supersonic speed.
"You saved the nation, Furina," Raiden said, sautéing the garlic. "You danced on a blade for five centuries without slipping. You deserve better than plain macaroni."
Furina watched him. The smell of garlic and butter filled the lonely apartment, chasing away the cold.
"Why?" Furina asked, her voice small. "I'm not an Archon anymore. I'm just... Furina. I deceived everyone. Even you."
"You deceived everyone to save everyone," Raiden corrected, adding the cream. "That's not a lie, Furina. That's a performance. And it was the best damn performance Teyvat has ever seen."
He plated the pasta—a creamy tomato basil sauce with perfectly grated cheese—and set it in front of her.
"Neuvillette wanted to come," Raiden added, pouring her a glass of juice. "But he thinks you need space. He's crying, by the way. It's been drizzling all morning."
Furina picked up her fork. She took a bite.
Flavor exploded in her mouth. Real food. Warmth.
Tears streamed down her face. Not tears of acting, but tears of relief.
"It's... good," she sobbed.
"Eat up," Raiden leaned against the counter, eating an apple. "I bought you a week's worth of groceries. And I left a cookbook on the counter. It has pictures, so even you can figure it out."
Furina wiped her eyes, shoveling pasta into her mouth. "Thank you... Raiden."
"Don't mention it," Raiden grinned. "Just remember me when you write your memoirs. 'The Handsome Dragon Who Cooked Me Dinner'."
The Departure
A few days later, at the port.
Aether and Paimon were packing their bags.
"So," Paimon asked. "Where to next? Natlan?"
"Natlan is to the west," Raiden pointed. "The Nation of War. Dragons, volcanoes, and resurrection. Sounds like my kind of party."
"Are you coming?" Aether asked.
"Not immediately," Raiden stretched. "I have some digestion to do. Eating a cosmic whale takes time. I'm going to take a nap in Chenyu Vale. It's on the way. I hear the tea there is excellent."
"A nap?" Paimon looked skeptical. "Every time you take a nap, you wake up and eat a god."
"That was one time!" Raiden defended. "Okay, maybe two times."
Neuvillette walked up to them to say goodbye.
"Mr. Ragnvaldr," Neuvillette said. "Fontaine will always welcome you. Though, preferably, please announce your arrival so we can reinforce the infrastructure."
"I'll send a postcard," Raiden promised.
He looked at the sky. The stars were fake, but the Abyss beyond them was real. And somewhere out there, the Sinner was watching.
"Natlan," Raiden mused. "The Pyro Archon. I wonder if she's spicy."
"System Notice."
"Assimilation of [Star-Swallowing Whale] at 15%."
"New Ability Unlocked: [Cosmic Swim]. Can traverse the vacuum of space (Limited Duration)."
"Hunger Level: Low (Finally)."
Raiden jumped onto the Aquabus roof.
"See you in the War Zone, Traveler! Don't die before I get there!"
He vanished in a flash of black lightning, heading toward the mountains of Liyue for a pit stop before the final stretch.
Interlude: The Captain's Interest
Location: Somewhere in Snezhnaya
The First Harbinger, Il Capitano, sat at a table covered in war maps.
Arlecchino placed the Hydro Gnosis on the map.
"The mission is complete," Arlecchino said. "But there is a variable. The Anomaly."
Capitano looked at the report. His face was hidden, but his presence was overwhelming.
"Raiden Ragnvaldr," Capitano's voice was deep, resonant, and filled with respect for strength. "He defeated the Shogun. He devoured the Narwhal. He walks the path of absolute power."
Capitano stood up. He picked up his helmet.
"I am heading to Natlan. The Pyro Gnosis is the final piece before the endgame. If this 'Dragon' seeks war... I shall give him the greatest battle of his life."
"He eats gods, Captain," Arlecchino warned.
"Good," Capitano clenched his fist, blue flames erupting from his armor. "I was worried he would be boring."