Location: Washington D.C. - The Battlefield
Status: Total War
The armies of America (led by Edison and Geronimo) clashed with the Celtic forces. Mechanical infantry traded fire with Druidic golems.
Raiden walked through the chaos, ignoring the stray bullets bouncing off his skin.
Scáthach walked beside him, twirling her red spears.
"You called me 'dry'," Scáthach said, her voice dangerously calm. "I have killed Gods. I have trained heroes. I am eternal."
"Eternal usually means stale," Raiden replied without looking at her.
Scáthach's eye twitched. She stabbed a Celtic soldier without breaking stride.
"I will show you. When this is over, I will pierce that thick hide of yours."
Nightingale ran up, throwing a grenade into a group of enemies.
"Disinfectant deployed! The area is 5% cleaner! Raiden, your heart rate is steady, but your hunger levels are critical. I recommend an IV drip of pure glucose!"
"I'm about to get a meal, Nurse," Raiden pointed ahead.
Two figures stood in the middle of a crater, ignoring the rest of the war.
Karna (Lancer), the Hero of Charity.
Arjuna (Archer), the Awarded Hero.
They were locked in their eternal duel.
Karna floated, surrounded by flames hotter than the sun. "Brahmastra Kundala!"
Arjuna drew his bow, mana coalescing into a blue supernova. "Pashupata!"
The clash of their energies was vaporizing the landscape.
Mash raised her shield, struggling against the wind. "Senpai! We can't get past! The energy density is too high! It's a localized nuclear event!"
Raiden sighed.
"They're ruining the lawn."
He vanished.
He reappeared directly between Karna and Arjuna, floating in the center of the energy storm.
Karna's fire hit Raiden's left side.
Arjuna's void-arrow hit Raiden's right side.
Raiden expanded his [Gluttony Field].
"Quiet."
He grabbed Karna's fire with his left hand. [Absorb: Solar Heat].
He grabbed Arjuna's arrow with his right hand. [Absorb: Divine Mana].
Slurp.
The attacks vanished.
Raiden burped. A puff of smoke (left nostril) and blue sparkles (right nostril) came out.
"Spicy wings on the left. Mint ice cream on the right," Raiden critiqued. "A weird combo, but I'll take it."
Karna lowered his lance, his stoic face showing a crack of surprise. "He... consumed the authority of the Sun?"
Arjuna lowered his bow. "Who acts as the arbiter between us?"
"Me," Raiden landed. "Take your fight somewhere else. I have a Queen to eat."
Karna nodded. "Fair enough. He is stronger than us, Arjuna."
Arjuna grit his teeth. "Fine. But this is not over."
They vanished, leaving the path to the White House open.
Location: The Ruins of the White House
Queen Medb stood on the balcony. She looked disheveled. Her army was crumbling.
Beside her stood Cu Chulainn Alter, who had regenerated his arm but looked weary.
"They're coming!" Medb shrieked. "That monster... that Dragon Man! He's going to eat us!"
She clutched the Holy Grail.
"No! I won't lose! I am the Queen! I will make the ultimate warrior!"
She poured the black mud of the Grail onto Cu Alter.
"Clan Calatin! The 28 Demon Gods! Fuse with him! Become the King of Despair!"
The remaining elite monsters of the Celtic army dissolved into black goo and rushed into Cu Alter's body.
Cu Alter roared.
His body expanded. Bones cracked and reformed.
He grew fifty feet tall. His red skin turned into a carapace of white bone. A tail made of spines thrashed the ground.
Demon God Cu Alter (Curruid Form).
"GRAAAAAAAH!"
His roar blew the roof off the White House.
Raiden and his group arrived at the lawn.
Ishtar looked up at the behemoth. "Ew. He's ugly. And he smells like a zoo."
Mordred grinned. "Now that's a boss fight!"
Raiden looked at the massive monster.
[Nyx Analysis]
[Target: Cu Alter + 28 Demon God Pillars. Composition: Divine Spirit, Beast, Curse, Bone.]
Raiden licked his lips.
"It's a Turducken," Raiden announced.
Ritsuka: "A what?"
"A chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey," Raiden explained. "But this is 28 demons stuffed inside a dog stuffed inside a dinosaur."
He cracked his knuckles.
"Maximum calorie intake."
Medb screamed from the monster's shoulder. "Kill him, Cu-chan! Crush him!"
Cu Alter stomped. The foot was the size of a tank.
Raiden caught the foot.
The ground shattered for miles, creating a localized earthquake.
But Raiden held the foot up with one hand.
"Heavy," Raiden grunted. "But I lift."
He threw Cu Alter.
With a heave of god-like strength, he tossed the 50-foot monster onto its back.
Scáthach saw the opening.
"Now! I will pierce his heart!"
She leaped into the air, her twin spears glowing red. "Gae Bolg Alternative!"
She aimed for Cu Alter's chest.
Raiden appeared in mid-air, intercepting her.
He grabbed her by the back of her suit (like a kitten).
"Hey," Raiden said.
Scáthach flailed. "Unhand me! This is my duty as his teacher!"
"It's my lunch," Raiden said. "You can have the salad."
He threw Scáthach back toward the group (she landed gracefully but fuming).
Raiden turned to the prone monster.
He manifested the full [Void Dragon Avatar].
A massive, translucent black dragon head formed over Raiden's body, matching Cu Alter in size.
"Time to dig in."
Cu Alter fired his Bone Spikes. Thousands of them.
Raiden's avatar simply ate them as they came. Crunch, crunch.
Raiden dived.
The Void Dragon jaws clamped onto Cu Alter's torso.
[Gluttony: Soul Harvest - Mass Extraction]
He didn't just bite flesh. He sucked out the 28 Demon Gods fused inside.
Streams of black smoke (the souls of the demons) were ripped out of Cu Alter and inhaled by Raiden.
"Salty," Raiden commented. "Tastes like calamari again. And... bitterness."
He ripped the Curruid Carapace off Cu Alter's body and crunched it.
"The bone is good. Crunchy."
Medb fell off the shrinking monster, landing in the grass.
"No... my King... my army..."
Cu Alter shrank back to his normal size. He lay on the ground, defeated, the madness drained from his eyes.
Raiden stood over him, picking his teeth with a bone shard.
"You're tougher than the Greek one," Raiden praised. "Better texture."
He looked at Medb.
She was trembling, looking up at him with teary eyes.
"P-Please... don't eat me! I'll do anything! I'm the Queen! I know... techniques!"
Raiden sniffed her.
"You smell like cheap perfume and desperation."
He turned away.
"I don't eat junk food."
Medb froze, her pride shattered more thoroughly than if he had killed her. "Junk... food...?"
Nightingale marched up to Medb.
"You are suffering from acute hysteria! I will administer a sedative!"
BONK.
She hit Medb with a metal bedpan. Medb was knocked unconscious.
Ritsuka picked up the Holy Grail from where Medb dropped it.
"That's the fifth one!"
Location: Washington D.C. - Ruins
The singularity was correcting itself.
Edison and Tesla were arguing in the background about whose power grid would rebuild America faster.
Scáthach stood before Raiden.
"You denied me my kill," she said.
"I saved you the trouble," Raiden shrugged.
Scáthach stepped closer. She placed a hand on his chest.
"You are a creature that defies death. Perhaps... training you is impossible. But hunting you..."
A rare smile crossed her lips.
"...might be entertaining."
Nyx: [Alert. Scáthach Affection Level shifted from 'Hostile' to 'Dangerous Interest'.]
Ishtar was loading gold bars from the treasury into her boat. "Hurry up! The world is fading! I need to keep this!"
Romani (Hologram): "Great work, everyone! Retrieval in 3... 2... 1..."
Location: Chaldea - Briefing Room
Time: 1 Hour Later
Da Vinci looked at the data.
"The next one is bad. Really bad. Singularity 6."
"Jerusalem," Romani said. "AD 1273. The Holy Land."
Raiden was eating a burger (finally).
"Jerusalem. Hummus? Falafel? Lamb?"
"No," Bedivere (who had just wandered into Chaldea, mysteriously) stepped forward from the shadows.
The silver-armed knight bowed.
"It is not Jerusalem anymore," Bedivere said sadly. "It is the Holy City of Camelot."
Raiden paused mid-bite.
"Camelot? King Arthur's place?"
"Yes," Bedivere looked at Raiden. "The Lion King rules there. She is a Goddess who has lost her heart. She is judging humanity."
Raiden swallowed.
"Lion King. Another Saber-face?"
"Yes," Bedivere nodded. "But she wields the Lance. She is divine."
Raiden stood up.
"Divine Lion."
He looked at his harem.
"Pack your bags. We're going to a pizza party at the Round Table."