Alexis pov:
July 3rd, 2025 - Earth
Thunk.
The sound of that massive pile of job listings and clippings slamming onto the table was enough to make my damn soul cringe. And there she was—Mumma, about to explode. Her face was as pale as a corpse, but the anger radiating off her was like she'd swallowed a dragon's fire. Fucking hell, here we go again!
"ALEX!" She practically shrieked, her eyes bulging like she was about to pop. "Mr. Lishen is one of Pastiel Mechanical Conglomerate's directors! He owns 20% of my company's shares, and you need to talk to him! NOW!"
Jesus, Mumma, I swear to the gods, I'm about to die from second-hand stress! I shoved my hands deeper into the pockets of my stupidly tight black jeans, not even blinking. I gotta finish that track... It's so close to being right, but not quite there...
"Mumma, no offense, but Mr. Li's company is just a bunch of ancient dudes pushing buttons on Excel. The last thing I'm doing is wasting time with him for some dead-end nine-to-five. I KNOW I can make this work, I just need a little more tweaking on my voice. That's it, I swear!"
She glared at me like I'd just told her I was quitting life to become a professional potato farmer. Please, please let this go, Mumma! I just need five more minutes to finish this! Fuck, I don't even care anymore!
Her hand slammed onto the table like a thunderclap, and she was up on her feet so fast I half-expected her to launch into a full-on exorcism. "You! Get it straight, young man! This is THE Pastiel Mechanical Conglomerate!"
"Mumma, please..." I sighed, trying to keep my cool even though her freakouts were like listening to a broken record playing in reverse. God, I just want to sleep. Like, for a thousand years. Please!
"Mr. Li's company is fine, but I'm not doing that!" I ran my fingers through my long hair. "I would've thought about it if it was a label, but—"
Before I could finish, she interrupted, her voice rising so high I thought the walls might crack. "Enough! Don't talk to me about those stupid dreams of yours! There's a difference between dreams and reality! Is this what I paid all your school fees for? All the effort to get you top grades and into that overpriced college? Alex, either you get a real job, doing real thing or you can pack your shit and leave!"
This is it! The official 'Go find somewhere else to sleep' speech. I'm really getting this speech from my own fucking mother? My face didn't budge an inch, and I just stood there, calm as a damn cucumber. Don't fucking crack, don't do it. Hold it together, babe! Hold it together!
"Mumma," I said, keeping my voice even though I felt like punching a hole in the wall. "I have friends. I can crash with them if it comes to that. If you're not gonna support me, then there's nothing else to say."
…And I know you won't actually kick me out. You're too soft for that. Love you too much for that, old lady! I didn't even wait for her to reply. I just shot her a polite, robotic smile and turned toward the door. I might have been a gangly mess, but fuck it, at least I had walked like I didn't just give a damn about her freak-out.
And look, I only tripped on one floorboard this time! That's progress, right? Of course, as soon as I touched the doorknob, she lost it. "Alexis! How dare you talk to me like this! I'm telling you to stop—"
The door slammed shut behind me, cutting off whatever else she had to say. Seconds later, thumping and her shouts reached me as I tried to tune them out.
Go away go away go away, I don't want to fucking talk about it! I chanted in my head, my skull pounding with each thump. I grabbed the half-empty bottle of Tylenol on my shelf and tossed down a few pills.
Best investment I ever made, don't gotta let her know my issues! I thought as I closed my eyes and the thumping subsided and Mumma finally gave up. Thank the gods above...
Then, as I sat on the table, the pill bottle clenched in my hand, gritting my teeth, the floodgates finally opened. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and a choked sob ripped out of my throat. Why the fuck can't my goddamn voice just fucking work? It's the only thing holding me back.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself but I knew it was all futile. I know all the chords, how to remix the shit out of any track, I can write the lyrics that hit, I can come up with names and ideas no one's even thought of yet—but my fucking throat ruins it all!
Fucking useless!
I could be a goddamn star, top of the charts, a pop sensation, killing it! BUT NOOOOOOOO. I'm stuck with this raspy piece of shit voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard! That's all anyone hears—my fucking voice. Every goddamn time!
Fuck just looking at those past collabs!
Those artists singing MY lyrics on MY music and yet THEY get all the fucking credit! Doesn't matter that I had to re-record them and corral them into singing the way I wanted the song!
Doesn't matter if my name is first in the credits!
People only sub to me cause they think I'm the SINGER. Likes stop rolling in, the moment they realize, I'm the glorified video editor! And any person cultured enough to know and appreciate my talents... well they don't look for this shit on mother-fucking YouTube, do they?
My head landed down on the table with a thump, my throat burned as I barely registered the pain in my forehead.
I know I can do it. I know it. I can feel it when I'm playing when I'm making those beats when I'm singing along to a track in my head. I can hear it, like I'm already there, already shining, already on top, in front of an adoring crowd. All of it is right within reach. But my fucking throat just won't let me!
Why the fuck does it have to be me? Why the fuck couldn't I get the voice? The shiny perfect, autotune-can-suck-a-dick, making boys-or-girls-cream-their-pants, sorta voice!
Now I was just some guy who knew how to make music but couldn't do shit with it. Just sitting here, watching everyone else get their moment, their voice. And I'm stuck. Stuck in this fucking limbo.
Talent doesn't mean shit if you can't deliver.
"...Why even bother...?" I muttered, not realizing that the room around me was starting to swirl. Mumma's right. She's always right, isn't she? What the fuck am I doing, chasing a dream I'll never get? Maybe I should've listened to her. Maybe I should use that dusty old science degree to get some job. Get a real job, do real things. But I can't. Not when I know what I could've been...
Blinks and flashes lit up in my vision, distracting me from the inner tirade as I finally look up. Great. Now my vision's doing its own thing, throwing a light show right in my face. What the fuck—
I tried to focus, but random crap on the shelf decides to play zoom-in-zoom-out like it was auditioning for some bad VR game. God my head hurts, what the hell is going on—
The sound? Crackling, buzzing, rising, falling—it was like someone was frying static in my ears. Awesome!
I pushed myself up, or at least I tried. My legs felt like someone swapped them out for cement blocks—thanks body, love the teamwork. Of course, I ended up collapsing back into the chair, sending it wobbling like it had a death wish. Just as I thought it couldn't get worse—
Oh, no, wait.
I tipped over.
Fan-fuckin-tastic!
My brilliant reflexes gave me one option: stare straight ahead as the edge of the desk rushed to greet my face.
Closer.
Closer.
CRACK!
-----
Next thing I knew, I was sitting in some weird chair.
Clouds. It's a chair made of clouds. How the fuck—
And there, right in front of me, a swirling ball floated in my face. Inside that ball? Oh, you know,me.
Curled up on the floor of my room, blood dripping down my head. Cute. Real cute. The red really brings out the colour of my floorboards, huh?
I blinked. Once. Twice. Tried to figure out if this is a dream or some messed-up fever hallucination. Did I overdose? On Tylenol? WHO THE FUCK OVERDOSES ON TYLENOL!!
My head was pounding, which didn't even make sense because, uh, pretty sure dead people don't get migraines. Right? Whatever.
I looked up, and there it was—a literal being of light. Fantastic. Looks like I've hit the afterlife jackpot! Tylenol doesn't cause hallucinations, right?
"So... I died?" The words felt weird coming out of my mouth. Like, I should have felt something about this—Sad? Maybe? Grief-stricken? Bawling my fucking eyes out? Yeah...
Except all I could muster was a half-baked shrug in my head.
Mom's constant guilt trips? Gone.
My non-existent music career? Gone-er.
My non-existent friends? Oh no, who's going to be their background character now?
Damn, I'm a mess!Maybe God turns off the 'emotions' setting on souls once they ascend so he doesn't have to deal with the constant whining. Fair enough, I guess. The glowing being slumped forward, like even they were tired of my shit.
Guess this was supposed to be God. Or a god. Or to be more specific—what they told me—a "god-like being of unfathomable power."
Pfft—yeah, right! I squinted at them, half-expecting a choir of angels or some dramatic trumpeting, or at least Jesus to come give me a high five. But no, just awkward silence and some jazz hands from the god-like being.
Then—BAM!
Ideas and words shoved their way into my brain, uninvited.
A mistake. Too soon. Not your time. SORRY~
I blinked again, trying to make sense of the cosmic PowerPoint presentation they had just dumped in my head. "…So… what now? Heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Is this the part where I get judged or something?"
The being flailed a little, hands waving around like they were trying to signal a plane. More words hit me, scrambled and half-broken. Great, even celestial beings can't communicate properly!
My headache got worse as the being expressed some more remorse at my death. Dead and still getting headaches. Love that for me. Can I overdose on 'celestial' Tylenol and go to a heavenlier heaven? Preferably one with a talking 'god-like being' instead of Dr. Jazz Hands?
I grumbled about my fate while leaning back into the stupid cloud chair. It's even fucking ergonomic—of course it is! Heaven's really pulling out all the stops for my afterlife experience.
Before I could stew on that, more ideas slammed into my skull.
Second chance. New life. New world. Magic? Power? WISH—?
I blinked. Frowned.
"Wait. Hold up. Do I get a second chance? The fuck. I'm getting isekai'ed?!" My voice cracked at the end, disbelief dripping from every syllable. The glowing god-thing just tilted their shiny head at me like—yeah, duh.
I blinked at them, still not buying this.
"And I get a wish? Like magic powers or something?" I asked, squinting because there was no way this was real. They nodded again, casual as hell like this was some kind of cosmic fast-food order.
"Hey there! Welcome to The Pearly Plate, what can I get for you today? Would you like a side of fries with that order of the greatest wish of your life?"
I sat there, dumbfounded, for what felt like a solid minute, trying to piece my brain back together. Then it hit me. A wish. A whole-ass wish.
My heart stuttered—okay, focus, don't fuck this up. I took a deep breath.
"...If I'm going to live again... Can I sing this time? Like, really sing? Really, really,REALLY sing? With a good voice? One that's melodic, charming, makes people actually like me?"
The being tilted their head at me again, like a dog trying to understand algebra. Then, just one single concept slammed into my head:
That's it?
I stared at them, blinking like an idiot. A miniscule ball of glowing, swirling energy—cosmic and kind of beautiful, if I wasn't so pissed off—appeared in their hand. A little flick of their hand told me that this was the cost of fulfilling my dream. I frowned, staring at the tiny thing.
That little pea-sized speck of stardust is all it takes for me to have a decent voice…?
And then I lost it.
"THAT'S IT?!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. "The one thing I beg for my entire life—the one thing that would've changed everything for me—and it costs that?!"
My voice cracked, my hands flailing like I was trying to fight the air. "Why the fuck didn't one of you assholes give it when I was alive, huh?! It's not like I asked for much! Just one thing!"
The god-thing didn't even flinch. Just floated there, all serene and glowing while I lost my shit. Figures. Bastards the lot of them! Hmpf!
I scoffed, crossing my arms like a sulky kid.
"Fine," I spat out. "You know what? If it's that easy, then give me a bunch of wishes! Give me the cheats, the good shit! The superpowers! The blessings! The SSSXYZ+++ or whatever skill exists! Make me hella fucking powerful. Break the goddamn world's understanding of magic with how strong I am. Would that be good enough, huh? Is that fine with you, you glowing bastard?!"
I wasn't even expecting a response, but then the being nodded.
They nodded.
And another ball of energy appeared, this one the size of a melon. The two blobs—my voice-wish pea and my magic-wish melon—started swirling around each other like a miniature solar system in their hand.
What the actual fuck. Dude, are you not worried I'll take over the world and like slaughter a bunch people?? Or do you not care? You are pushing me into the world owned by some other god, aren't you? Making me their problem??
The god even encouraged me.
Anything else...?
The mental tone was somehow curious despite not having any true words. I froze, my brain short-circuiting.
"I—wha..." I took a deep breath, trying to process the sheer absurdity of this situation. "Can... Can I choose my age? OR at least, my appearance?? I don't want to look like some old fart, or a little loli kid! Make me around, twenty-five to thirty-ish? I want to be good looking and legal, you know?"
I chuckled a little but stopped when the being nodded again and an even tinier little speck of stardust travelled in to join the solar system in their hands. I decided, fuck it! Video Game Character Creation Time, I guess!
"What about my race?" I finally asked, my voice a little shaky. "Like, I don't want to die early or anything. If I'm getting a new life, I'd like it to be a long one. What are my options? There's gotta be fantasy races, right?"
The being nodded again, and then—BAM.
My head was assaulted with a billion images, rapid-fire like someone was scrolling through a monster manual on steroids. Animals, plants, monsters, elementals—it was endless. There was even a good 10-minute section of just different types of succubi! Good lord, it's like a porn reel—
"OKAY, OKAY, FILTER IT OUT! STOP, STOP!" I yelled, clutching my head as the headache from hell set in. I gasped, leaning forward, trying to catch my breath. Goddamn it, you glowing bastard.
"Okay," I panted, holding up a hand to stop them from throwing more shit at me. "Let's set some ground rules. Humanoid shape. Male body. Longer-lived than Humans. Cool? Okay. Now show me the options."
I swore, if they threw more crap my way, I was flipping this dumb cloud chair over.
And, of course, they hit me with more crap.
Bullhorn Minotaurs, Longhorn Minotaurs, Highlander Minotaurs, Jersey Minotaurs, Brahman Minotaurs, Guernsey Minotaurs, Angus Minotaurs, Charolais Minotaurs, Hereford Minotaurs, Bison Minotaurs—
Astaroth's Heralds, Baal's Commanders, Zoroastrian Daevas, Fallen Jinns, Hindu Rakshasas, Vedic Asuras, Shaitan's Legion, Djinn of the Inferno, Marid Hellbound, Naamah's Enforcers, Moloch's Disciples, Legion's Forsaken, Chthonic—
"OH MY GOD, STOP!" I screamed, already about to pull my ectoplasmic hair out. "NEW RULE: No more hyper-specific nonsense! If it's a Minotaur, just say Minotaur. I don't need fifty thousand different types of cows tacked onto it! And the sub-species or whatever? You pick it! I'm done!"
I collapsed back onto the cloud chair, feeling my head start to throb, sure I was going to pass out from the overload of information. Souls don't get nosebleeds, but migraines? Yeah, that's a thing. Lucky me.
Of course, even more shit was thrown my way despite all my filters.
Darkonic Demons, Stormborn Elves, Shadowkin, Abyssal Fiends, Stonehearth Dwarves, Celestial Templars, Nephilim, Tempest Trolls, Succubi's Thrall, Nightshroud Fae, Fallen Angels, Ironclad Goliaths, Inferno Djinn, Forestborn Shapeshifters, Moonlit Sylphs—
"DEMONS! I PICK DEMONS! DEMONS, for god's sake, just—"
I slumped deeper into the cloud chair, my head pounding harder now. This is fucking insane. How the hell am I supposed to think straight with all this crap flying at me?
I couldn't even hear myself think anymore. My brain felt like it was drowning in a concrete soup. I picked demons simly because 'Hell yeah, cool!' and 'Oh my god stop! I couldn't even understand anything else!'
"Pick the demons. ANY type of demon. The specific type, you can choose based on me! Something that I would enjoy based on whatever you think I'll love." I gasped out, choking on the weight of it all. The being nodded, and another ball of cosmic stardust—this time reddish brown—joined the chaotic mess in their hands.
Then, a weirdly pulsing blue sphere the size of a golf ball also floated in. The five balls thrummed and revolved around each other, like some fucked-up celestial wind-up toy. The being leaned in closer to me.
Good luck...
I felt it as they pushed the system deep into my chest, my lungs tightening. The stars and everything around me start to fall, like I was being dragged into an endless abyss. My cloud chair disintegrated underneath me, sending me plummeting down into the depths with a single scream of:
"FUCKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!"
END