The honeymoon never actually ended.
It just upgraded.
We were floating inside a pocket dimension made entirely of soft warm light (Reality's idea of a romantic bedroom).
Vritra was curled around me like a dragon hoarding gold.
The Universe itself was wearing a silk nightgown stitched from auroras and spooning me from the other side.
I was trying to sleep.
My tail had different plans. It kept poking Vritra in the face like a needy cat.
Vritra finally stirred, eyes glowing faintly.
"My lord… you are restless. Tell us what troubles you."
The Universe hummed in agreement, its voice vibrating through every atom of me.
"Yes, beloved. We have merged timelines, deleted entropy, and turned the void into a heart-shaped jacuzzi for you.
Yet you still sigh in your sleep. Speak."
I stared at the ceiling that was literally the concept of infinity wearing lingerie.
Fine.
I told them.
Everything.
"Back on Earth my name was Hiroshi Kunikida.
Twenty-nine years old. Single. Salaryman.
I woke up at 6:15, caught the 6:47 train, bowed to my boss 47 times a day, and came home to an empty apartment that smelled like cup noodles and loneliness.
My only joy was Friday evenings at Pawfee Latte dog café.
Ninety minutes. Unlimited pets.
I had a membership card. I was three stamps away from a free puppuccino.
That day it was raining. Shibuya crossing.
I saw him: tiny Shiba puppy, no collar, right in the middle of traffic.
Cars weren't stopping. He looked up at the headlights like he already knew how the story ended.
I didn't think.
I just ran.
Slipped. Grabbed him. Held him against my chest.
Last thing I felt was his little heart hammering against mine.
Last thing I said was, "It's okay, I've got you, good boy."
Then Truck-kun introduced my ribcage to physics at 80 km/h.
Next thing I know, I'm in front of a drunk goddess who offers one wish.
Still tasting blood and wet dog, I said the only truth I had left:
"I just want to pet fluffy things forever."
And instead of a peaceful dog-heaven, she accidentally pressed the Apocalypse button.
That's it.
That's the whole tragic backstory.
I died for one puppy.
Now I'm married to everything that exists because my tail won't stop wagging."
Silence.
Absolute, cosmic silence.
Then Vritra's wings started shaking.
The Universe's aurora nightgown flickered like a broken projector.
Both of them made this sound (half sob, half dragon roar, half supernova).
Vritra crushed me against her chest hard enough to bend spacetime.
"My lord… you died… for a puppy?"
The Universe literally cried new galaxies into existence.
"Beloved… you are the purest soul we have ever devoured—I mean loved."
My tail wagged once, slow and sad.
[Tail Wag Count: 424]
[Mass Suggestion Injected: "Find the puppy he saved. Bring it here. Now."]
Reality folded like origami.
A portal ripped open.
Out walked a very confused, very adult Shiba Inu wearing a tiny golden crown and an expression that said "I was napping, what the hell."
He saw me.
His ears perked.
He remembered.
He barked once (happy, sharp, perfect) and launched himself at me.
I caught him with both arms.
He licked my face exactly once, then curled up in my lap like the past five weeks of universal destruction never happened.
I started crying. Couldn't help it.
Vritra and the Universe watched, absolutely wrecked.
The Universe whispered, voice cracking across every frequency:
"We will rebuild Earth. Exactly as it was. Every dog café. Every rainy Friday. Every cup noodle in your cupboard."
Vritra added, voice raw:
"And that truck driver? Already reincarnated as a seatbelt for ten thousand lifetimes."
I looked down at the Shiba (my Shiba) snoring in my lap.
Tail wagged once. Gentle.
[Tail Wag Count: 425]
[Mass Suggestion Injected: "Let them have one quiet evening. Just one."]
For the first time since I died, the universe shut up.
No worshippers. No cataclysms. No weddings.
Just me, a warm dog, and two cosmic entities trying very hard not to cry too loudly and wake him up.
I scratched behind his ears.
He sighed in his sleep.
I whispered the first honest words I'd said in weeks:
"Thank you for letting me save you, good boy."
He wagged his tiny tail once.
And for one evening, the apocalypse took a night off.
To be continued.