Everything seemed fake, like Guinevere was walking in a haze she couldn't leave. Luna and Bavkgy had stayed with her for hours, comforting her until she said they should go home and rest. She couldn't even recall most of what they said. Her mind was too numb to take anything in.
She had noticed when they reluctantly left, especially Bavkgy trying to stay by her side throughout.
She recalled maybe raising her voice and maybe telling him, she needed space.
But she couldn't tell what happened next. Only her grandmother took the space in her head, she was the only one she truly cared for. Her only family.
Was she about to leave her alone in this world?
She had recalled the nights, where her grandmother would sit and listen to every of her rants.
When she would console her when she was tired of her job or the Tv show.
When the hospital became quiet and night came outside the windows, she curled up on one of the hard plastic chairs next to her grandmother's bed. She didn't really sleep, but floated in and out of painful, light dreams, her thoughts going around and around the same fear.
At some point, a gentle voice brought her back to reality.
"Guin…?"
Her eyes shot open.
Her grandmother's eyes were fluttering weakly, her hand reaching out. Guinevere jumped up from the chair.
"Grandma! You're awake." She took her hand right away, squeezing it softly. "Do you need anything? Water? Should I get the nurse? Does anything hurt?"
Her grandmother chuckled softly. "You're worrying too much, child."
Tears streamed from Guinevere's eyes, one she knew she couldn't control, she quickly rushed to her side, not wanting to be separated from her any longer she had been.
"You scared me," Guinevere said quietly, her voice shaking. "I thought I thought I might lose you."
Her grandmother's smile softened. "We all have our time, dear. Mine may be coming sooner than I expected."
Guinevere's head shot up, like a warning to her grandmother. "No." Guinevere shook her head quickly, too hard, as if refusing with her whole body. "Don't say that. You're going to be fine. You always get better."
"I'm old, Guin." Her grandmother sighed. "And tired. Your mother's gone. I've lived long enough to see you grow into a good woman. If it's my time, then "
Her grandmother had that tired look in her eyes, like she knew her guin would never understand.
"It's not," Guinevere said sharply, tears filling her eyes. "I'm not ready. I won't let you go. I'll find a way. I promise. You'll get better."
Her grandmother touched her cheek with shaky fingers. "You're too kind. Too softhearted. But being sick doesn't care about promises, child."
Guinevere held her hand tighter. "Then it'll care about treatment."
Her grandmother didn't say anything after that. She just watched her granddaughter with a tired but loving look, as if she knew something Guinevere didn't.
A few minutes later, her grandmother fell asleep and she , Guinevere went out of the room to meet the doctor, who had asked to speak with her alone.
He led her into his office, looking serious. "Miss Guinevere, I wanted to fully explain your grandmother's condition to you."
She knew that didn't sound right, something was up.
Guinevere swallowed. "I'm listening."
"The illness gets worse over time. The best we can do is slow it down. She'll need medicine, regular check-ups, and maybe surgery later." He slid a paper toward her. "These are the expected costs."
Guinevere looked over the numbers.
Her heart stopped.
"This… this isn't possible," she whispered. "We don't we can't pay for this. I barely earn enough for rent and food. My grandmother hasn't worked in years. How am I supposed to…" Her voice broke before she could finish.
"I'm sorry," the doctor said kindly. "But waiting to start treatment could make things worse."
Guinevere nodded slowly, even though her throat felt tight. "Thank you. I'll… figure something out."
She went out of the workplace and went to the room where her grandma was. She bent down, touched her head with her lips, and said quietly, "I'm going to solve this. I'm going to solve all of it. Please just stay here with me."
Then she went out of the place where people get medical help.
Outside, the sun in the morning seemed too strong for her tired eyes. She walked on the road like she was not fully awake, her mind filled with worries because of numbers that were too high and choices that were too hard.
What should I do now? What things can I get rid of for money? How many more times can I work? There must be a way to do it. There just has to be.
She got to a place where people can walk across the road, barely seeing the light that was shining red. Her thoughts went around and around faster than the cars that were going by quickly.
I am able to work more hours. I am able to do any kind of work. I can't let her go. I will not do that.
She moved off the edge of the road.
The loud noise of tires being used suddenly cut through her thoughts.
Guinevere quickly turned her head to look.
A big black car was moving quickly toward her, the front part large and dark in the strong sunlight. It was near, much too near.
She stopped breathing for a moment.
Everything around her slowed down.
She was not able to move. Was not able to shout. Her legs would not do what she wanted.
The big car kept moving forward. More fast. More near.
Guinevere closed her eyes really tight, getting ready for the crash that was going to happen. Her last thought was not about herself.
Grandma… who will take care of her if I'm gone?
A strong blow of air came at her.
A dark shape almost over her.
And she could see nothing at all.