Chapter 54: Past
Gray weakly laughed.
'Not ready…?'
'I'm not ready?'
So this is why his mother had always stopped him from doing the reality-check.
'How am I not ready…? After everything, how am I still not ready?'
Gray gritted his teeth before this setback.
Without gaining lucidity inside his dreams, he couldn't find the answers he sought.
Yet…
He trusted his mother.
If she said he wasn't ready, then he simply wasn't.
Whereas he didn't know the arcane reason for such words, Gray knew this was meant to protect him.
For as much as he knew, gaining lucidity without being prepared could be something unfathomably dangerous and secretive, even unknown to Casanova.
Thus…
Gray adamantly accepted this fact.
After deactivating Intra, he stood up.
While this was a setback, it wasn't the end of the world.
Gray now had Intra, Genesis, Desensitization and Replication. They at least finally allowed him to have some odds of survival.
Wiping the sweat off his forehead again, he infused himself with his training even more, using this setback as a direction for improvement.
…
Whip! Whip! Whip!
Gray skipped the rope at an extreme speed, beads of his sweat falling over the warehouse's floor.
Even so, he kept on going faster, increasing his pace.
The warehouse then darkened, the miasma coming right after.
Gray's movements slowed down.
Casanova was near!
Not physically, but thanks to the miasma's ability of communication!
A few minutes passed, but strangely, the man wasn't there.
The miasma kept on obscuring the warehouse, drowning its already dim lights.
Being a Nephilim ability supposed to be based upon cloaking and preventing the leak of information, Gray hypothesized that the words Casanova would soon say were of an extreme importance.
The Nephilim's voice then rang out.
"…Gray."
Casanova seemed…troubled.
He looked towards the place where the voice came from.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" he said.
"…I apologize for what you had to go through. If there's anything you need…I can provide it for you."
Gray smiled bitterly.
"…I need answers. For Selene, for the relationship you have with her…for everything."
With a bit of an uncharacteristic 'hesitancy,' Casanova then spoke.
"Selene is my daughter."
"…What?"
What Casanova said…didn't make sense.
First of all, the two seemed to be completely different, both in actions and appearances.
Second of all, if she truly were Casanova's daughter, why the hell would she try to kill the person her father is actively trying to train?
Casanova continued.
"…I was different…many years ago. I was angry—vengeful. I killed hundreds of Nephilim, placating the revenge that fueled me, my reason of being. Until one day, I met Eira, a Nephilim—the woman who would come to be Selene's mother."
"I…couldn't stay like that. I couldn't keep on destroying those who wronged me in the past. I shed my anger, finding a new reason to live."
Casanova's voice shook.
"I lived with Eira for years…until one day, my old life caught up to me. That was the same day when I learnt about her pregnancy."
"Me and Franz theorized that no Nephilim could be born as such, since the transformation could only begin from a human point of origin. This theory was supported by the fact that every Nephilim is infertile."
"But then, we discovered something else. We realized that we weren't meant to have children."
"Yet there are times…there are times where the minuscule, almost non-existing chance of two Nephilim giving birth happens."
"In these cases…"
"It only brings Calamity."
"The Nephilim are created by the contact with the unknown. What greatest unknown is there other than death itself, the place we came from before our own lives even started?"
"What's born from this 'void' is not only a Nephilim blessed by quintessence, but it's effectively a being fully created by 'its purest form.' Their bodies are entirely made of pure quintessence, a superposition of the two phases of it—the already molded state, and its most primal form."
"This…this causes them to be beacons for the otherworldly."
His voice trembled.
"As soon as me and Eira felt the first fluctuating Emanation of Power from the still-forming Selene, we ran from our home, leaving everything behind. We ran for months, hiding in every possible place, hoping that once Selene was born, the fluctuations of quintessence would subside."
"But…"
"…We were wrong."
"Right after our daughter was born, they…the Synod of Da'At, the enemy I so desperately tried to ran away through all of these peaceful years…found us."
Casanova almost choked on his next words.
"…Eira was weak, she knew she couldn't go on for long. Giving birth had strained her energies, draining her quintessence."
"…She died, sacrificing herself to let me and Selene escape."
"…I ran. I wanted to destroy every single one of them. I wanted to burn their unholy altars and sanctuaries down…but I couldn't. With Selene near me, with her small arms reaching for my face…I couldn't."
"I thought of countless ways to make these fluctuations of quintessence stop. I immersed myself in my studies, visiting every kind of Nephilim, even the worst scum, just so I could let Selene have a peaceful life, not an existence threatened by my own past.
"…But nothing worked."
"That was until…an Angel whose face was covered by moonlight descended from the sky."
"I can help you." He said gently.
"The girl is talented, but what she really needs is a fitting container for her abilities."
"He turned to me."
"Can you provide it for her? Does your 'Root' allow you to?"
"I didn't respond, yet He still knew."
"Fear not."
I couldn't see His face, but I could feel a smile form on His lips.
"I was sent here to help you."
His tone was raised, madness almost enveloping his voice.
"I should've known to not trust these hidden existences. I should've known that they don't care about us, mere ants who live in this world."
"But in my madness, I willingly strayed away. I allowed Him, not just an Angel, but the manifestation of Sin Himself, to place His hands on Selene. The Emanations of Power stopped, but as I saw His Heralds leave her body months later, I instantly understood just what kind of mistake I had made."
"Sin had fooled me!"
"I cursed her to a life full of chains, an existence meddled by the hands of True Divinities, all in the search of a freedom I could never give her!"
Casanova quieted down, sadness gripping his voice.
"…If I had stayed near Selene, the Synod of Da'At could've found her by exploiting our connections. After making so many mistakes, I couldn't fail her again."
"…I abandoned Selene, leaving her with a younger Franz. I fabricated this identity called 'Casanova,' faking my documents, erasing everything that could trace me back to my previous self. And so…I settled down in Rosano, cutting every tie I had with my daughter."
"I'm near enough where I can help Franz with Selene, but it's still only on special cases where she's too tangled up with her powers to even perceive me."
"…I apologize from the bottom of my heart, Gray. I should've known about the jealousy she felt for you, I should've known the bitterness she must've felt to see someone being with her father instead of her."
Hearing all this, Gray…was at a loss for words.
Casanova's past, the Manifestation of Sin, Roots, Mercurial Fragments, Selene's true self and feelings, Nephilim's infertility, Calamities, the Synod of Da'At.
This incredible amount of information cluttered his mind.
Gray wanted to delve deeper into the parts he couldn't understand more specifically, but after hearing Casanova's tragic story, how could he ask more about Casanova's past?
He gritted his teeth.
"…I'm sorry to hear that you, your late wife, and Selene had to go through that."
This was the only response Gray could muster.
Selene…wasn't a fierce warrior.
She just was a lonely girl who was afraid to have her dad be taken away from her.
Trusting and forgiving her after everything she did was too much. One thing Gray couldn't help but do, however, was beginning to empathize with her.
He knew how it felt to have a father choose someone else.
Maybe the two weren't so different, after all.
"…Does this mean that you won't train me anymore?".
Seeing how Selene felt about their situation, he naturally asked.
While it would be difficult to do everything on his own, Gray could understand if Casanova chose to stop their training.
"No." Casanova answered sternly. "I made a promise. I won't back down on it."
"…I see."
Following Casanova's words, an uncomfortable silence rang out.
"Is there something else you want to know?" Casanova asked.
Gray slowly shook his head.
"…No, it's fine. We can do some other day. But…there are some things I need to tell you."
Gray explained the updated situation about his reality-check.
Casanova listened attentively throughout his speech, never interrupting, appearing deep in thought. He then confirmed it would be best to avoid the matter of lucidity for the time being.
Gray spoke about his ordeals with the Heralds, the awakening of Genesis and Replication, giving insights he hadn't previously told about Franz.
Casanova apologized both for having hidden the matter of Gray's Secondary Fragment, and his lies about Genesis' real-world predictions being just unusual.
Gray then uncomfortably talked about Desensitization, the murderous intent he had felt, that voice coming from the pits of his soul, but once again, he avoided speaking about the pain he had inflicted upon the Sult'Hurni.
Casanova then chanted,
"…He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."
He continued,
"Not only does quintessence morphs our souls, giving us Its blessing, but it also rewrites the way our brain functions, turning the way we think into something more primal, beastly and mad, to survive against the same forces we fight against."
"…But, it doesn't have to be this way. By savoring the humanity we have left, we can fight against this rewiring."
"To be human even when you aren't…Such is the true essence of the Right-Hand Path!"
"…?!"
Gray had always felt like this.
Even during Desensitization, when he was flayed by the murderous intent near the masquerading Sult'Hurni, he had felt this urge to stay human!
Could he had been subconsciously following this so-called path all along?
"Right-Hand Path..?"
"Yes. The Right-Hand Path is the belief a small number of Nephilim believes in. We don't kill humans, nor do we employ them to devilish experiments."
"Even if we cannot let them know about our true identity, we do our best to coexist with them and protect them when necessary."
"…Protect?"
Once again, Gray did not expect this.
'I thought…I thought that the Nephilim weren't like this.'
He thought they were devilish beings, with the only exceptions being the ones he personally knew. But now, knowing that not all of them were death-mongers, lifted a weight off his chest.
Gray smiled.
"…What a relief."
Gray then spoke about Nekare and the plan he had created to protect her, informing the girl about the dangers belonging to the Nephilim World.
…
Casanova nodded approvingly from his hidden location.
"You've discovered many things on your own. Your Secondary Fragment, Franz's ability and our plan, the dangers of talking about the Nephilim on your cellphone, and more. Your progress is astonishing."
"You may speak about our world with Nekare. I'll send you one spare communication device soon, hand it to her in the case you need to speak from a distance."
"Thank you…!"
As their fruitful conversation ended, the miasma slowly retracted from the pits of the warehouse.
Gray felt a weight be lifted from his chest.
While many parts of Casanova's speech brought fear to his heart, especially the Synod of Da'At, and of how Casanova's madness had led him to trust Sin, he felt many of his be answered.
'I won't have to worry about the Moon God. Even if I'm not aware of the reason why I'm thinking this, I'm certain.'
'But this Synod of Da'At, what is it? Considering that Casanova had to run away from them even after Selene's Emanations of Power had already stopped, does this mean they're more powerful than him?'
So this is why he was careful about the other Nephilim.
'Besides, there still are many other things I need to ask. Maybe I can squeeze some information out of Franz…' Gray thought.
…
Inside a barren house, Casanova opened his eyes.
The guilt of having hurt his precious daughter once again crushed him.
Even the news he had heard the previous day still shook him.
Selene's altar had inexplicably been split in half, 'coincidentally' right after Gray had entered Sin's Kingdom, barely even surviving.
Even the boy didn't seem to know about this fact.
The beings who could do this weren't mere Nephilim.
They were True Deities.
A few theories that could explain this fact.
Either Gray was the reincarnation of a Dead Deity, one who antagonized Sin.
Or Gray was someone who was backed by one of them.
And judging from the things Franz had seen inside his Mercurial Fragment,
'He' wasn't a benevolent one.
If 'He' awoke, would Casanova be strong enough to defeat him?