Chapter 57: Decision
Wednesday, 6th December 2023.
Gray mindlessly scribbled on his notebook as the professor spoke about matters he couldn't care less about.
He had left the library as a new man.
Casanova, Franz, and the many pages he had read imparted a great deal of knowledge into him, way more than he had ever learned before.
Despite not seeing much content detailing the monstrosity of the Nephilim, he figured that, since Franz was a believer of the Right-Hand Path, he would keep the more devilish material hidden from view.
How could he pay attention to his teacher after learning these things?
Gray instead carefully drew the Tokens of Quintessence, Air, Water, Earth, and Fire as he pondered the Elemental Ritual.
As he wasn't drawing the Five-Pointed Starred Pentagram with his blood and wasn't using a linen notebook, there would be no effect whatsoever.
Gray figured the linen parchment needed for the ritual was a special material like salt.
While he had been eager to try the Elemental Ritual right in the middle of Franz's private library, now that he was aware that specifics were of utmost importance in rituals, he avoided doing so.
He also had asked Franz to lend him a few pages.
Being a good natured Nephilim, Franz had accepted without any hesitation, granting Gray the materials.
Gray was right about to perform the last stage of the ritual at home, when his sister suddenly came home, not allowing Gray to perform it.
That made him never have the opportunity to actually practice it.
Not only would the ritual allow him to tap into a kind of magical power, similar to an alchemical transmutation of matter, it would also allow him to slightly make sense of how much Quintessence coursed through his system.
If Gray decided to make a flame using the Elemental Ritual, he could use the flame as an indicator for the Quintessence he had!
By considering these factors, Gray soon figured it would be best to avoid performing the full ritual inside his house, lest he started a fire.
He didn't know whether the remaining Quintessence of his Secondary Mercurial Fragment was still circling inside his body, after all.
Gray had also thought about his new powers.
Truthfully, he still hadn't properly named his ability.
Replication wasn't a name that really fitted for the powers of his Secondary Fragment as a whole.
Since its first ability allowed it to connect to Genesis, granting it the power to transcend dimensions, bringing the revelations of the Eternal Landscape to himself; and its second allowed him to connect to a past fragment of memories, allowing him to replicate it, the name 'Replication' wasn't proper.
So Gray decided to change his way to address the Secondary Fragment. Considering the fact that He might be the Monolith himself, he also needed a different, specific name.
As a result, he decided on one.
'Xanadu.'
Not only could Xanadu act upon his memories for offensive means, but Gray saw it could also work defensively. After hearing Sin's true name, he could not recall it anymore.
This was thanks to the Amalgamations of Shadows inside his memories.
But this wasn't the only case.
Even after his dream, much of his memory had gotten wiped. Many details were lost, entrapped by the shadows.
But…
What was the reason behind this?
If the Shadows had protected him, not allowing Gray to remember His name, then why would they act upon his memories for nothing?
Gray had a theory.
He theorized that after dying at the hands of the Third Trumpet, 'something' inconceivable, different both from the mere corruption of first becoming a Nephilim and the mere, personal instillment of Xanadu from The Monolith.
Gray had seen something not meant to be 'seen,' coming to learn about something not meant to be 'known.'
Knowledge was more than just a double-edged blade, it could easily be the source of one's destruction.
Nietzsche once said,
If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you.
If facing it, every Nephilim had to make the right choice.
A mad, arab poet also said,
"If your eyes cause you to understand, gouge them out!"
"If your eardrums cause you to hear, rupture them!"
"Never let your mind wander through their antediluvian bodies, never immerse yourself into their blasphemous characteristics!"
"Because, if you notice them, they'll also notice you!"
Gray hypothesized that the shadows were protecting him from this dark, aeon old knowledge.
He had disliked to be unable of recalling many things for the most part.
However.
For once, just this once…
If he had the choice to recall everything…
If he had the chance to grasp everything he had lost…
He would reject it.
…
Gray had also asked some questions regarding the ritual to Franz. He discovered many interesting facts.
First of all, that manual was incredibly difficult to find.
Secondly, manipulating pure Quintessence was extremely hard. The only exception was for the ones who possessed the same unknown Root as the one who created the talismans.
Hence, if one wanted to cast 'spells' different from the power belonging to their Mercurial Fragment, they'd have to use materials that bonded greatly together with Quintessence, such as blood.
The ritual would still be something highly inefficient, barely even used by most of the Right-Hand Path.
And since they weren't selfish and protected humans from all harm, it made sense for them not to harm others.
Thirdly, what he had read was only the beginning of a bigger manual. Gray was told there were many and many other passages.
Franz unfortunately lacked them.
Fourthly, he figured that the killer who had murdered those girls, draining them of their blood, was definitely a Nephilim.
And while he was still completely unaware of the specific purposes behind their actions, he was sure that there was a ritualistic motive behind it.
Casanova had also coincidentally left Rosano right as those events happened.
The killer was definitely related!
It was truly most probable scenario.
Gray quickly glanced at Nekare.
He knew he had to inform her about everything the Nephilim were. Thus he made a quick decision, setting the plan on that very precise day.
"So…are you going to help me find the guy Veronica was smooching? I know I made a good impression yesterday…but I still want to have some reassurance, you know?" Rowan said, keeping his voice down.
"Why are you still pursuing her? She's already playing her ex while having a brand-new lover…"
"Never get in the way of a man's pursuit of love!" Rowan whispered enthusiastically. "You also promised you'd help." he added.
"I know, I remember my promise…It just seems like a bad idea."
"As I said, never get in the way of a man's pursuit of love!"
"Alright..." Gray sighed. "Just don't tell me I was right when all goes wrong…"
"Are you sure you can't remember how he looked?" Rowan asked.
Just before he nodded, Gray had an idea.
'Whereas the specific memory has been lost from my mind, being a moment lasting less than a second, it doesn't change the fact it belonged to a highly important and stressful time…'
'I'm 90% sure I can remember it by using Intra.'
"…I'll see what I can do.."
"I'd ask you to search if it's someone here, but he might be someone in a different class…" Rowan remarked.
Gray shook his head.
"Don't worry. Just give me a day or two."
"Seriously? Thanks man!"
…
Class ended.
Rowan quickly shuffled away from the moving students, bringing his chair closer to his friend.
"How's the project with Nekare going? I haven't heard you speak about it in a while."
Gray felt the indescribable urge to slap himself across the face.
He forgot to study!
He hadn't even checked if Nekare had texted him about the project's details!
Having gone through anything and being busy as he was, it was natural.
…But, Nekare didn't know that.
This negligence could've caused him to appear as a rude person, one who just needed Nekare for her intelligence!
Gray lamented inwardly.
This wasn't good.
Being an upright and trustworthy person was a must. Especially because he needed to tell her everything.
Thus he made a choice.
Since this was the day where he decided to notify her about everything, he decided to seize this opportunity.
Gray stood up.
"Sorry, I have a quick matter I need to tend to."
Rowan shrugged.
Gray made his way towards Nekare, dodging the many students with ease.
Her figure was soon revealed.
"Nekare." he called out.
"Uh?" she turned around.
Gray bowed.
"…Sorry. I was really busy these evenings. I never had enough time to pay attention to the project."
"N-No. It's no big deal."
Gray scratched his head.
"…But, if you have time, would it be alright for us to maybe—if you don't have anything else going on—to study together after school?"
'Sorry.' Gray said in his heart as he looked into her green eyes. 'The real reason why I'm asking isn't just because I want to study.'
While Gray felt guilty for misleading her, he knew this would be the best thing for Nekare.
The girl shifted towards three different emotions upon hearing his words.
First, it was a slight hint of wariness.
Seeing this, he couldn't help but wonder,
'Is my reputation really this bad?'
Secondly, it was an emotion Gray figured would a calculation of the pros and cons.
Thirdly, it was acceptance—the pros outweighed the cons.
She put a polite smile.
"Yeah, we can. But…where do you want us to meet up?"
Gray couldn't help but feel the tension flush away from his face.
"Right after school would be the best option…But if you can't or have other things going on, we can always study a bit later."
Although he had went through some rough theories and motions about managing Mnemosyne's Antiques, Franz had told him the store would be closed for a while.
Thus he didn't have to worry about being late there.
Nekare gave a slight shake of her head.
"After school is alright..."
"Perfect. Thanks again!"
Gray returned to his desk and noticed that his friend wasn't there.
'He probably went outside…'
Frankly, it was better for him.
If Rowan discovered what Gray had said to Nekare, he would surely go crazy with his remarks.
'How many misunderstandings it would bring…' he gave a brief chuckle.
…
Gray and Rowan left the class, beginning to follow the horde of students to the front gate.
Aware that they would soon have their study session, Nekare stuck close to Gray, not paying much attention to things like pleasantries and chit-chat, instead avoiding them as a whole.
Rowan seemed slightly surprised to have her stick so close to them. He shot a few glances to Gray, as if saying,
"Look who's here! Your girlfriend!"
Gray purposefully ignored his friend's glances and inwardly hoped that he would drift apart from him.
That way he wouldn't have to deal with the misunderstandings.
But as one might expect, life doesn't always go as wished.
…
Rowan sat inside his dad's luxurious car. He rested his chin on his hand, looking slightly moody. He silently looked at the many students from the car's window.
Rowan then noticed a faithful scene, something he would have never imagined.
Gray and Nekare together, their hands almost brushing against each other.
…Or at least this was how it went inside his mind.
They were close, that's true.
…Just not as Rowan imagined.
Gray suddenly felt a chill. He twisted his head.
"Shit."
Meters away, his friend Rowan was frozen, almost like a statue.
He had seen everything!
Rowan's expression changed, giving off a perverted vibe.