"You cleaned my apartment?" Jaxa asked, looking around the place. "Fuckin weirdo." She says, kicking the couch to wake him. Theo wakes up in a startled state, his eyes locked on Jaxa.
"What?" He says, his head spinning and groggy.
"Get enough beauty sleep between taking out the trash and snoring like a hellhound?" She asked rhetorically, reaching out a hand. Theo takes her hand as she pulls him off the couch.
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to repay you for saving me," Theo says, walking into the kitchen with Jaxa.
"If I wanted you to repay me, I would have asked. So this doesn't count." She says, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "Coffee, black, now." She demands with the hint of a smirk on the corners of her lips.
"Yes, Ma'am," Theo says, walking to the coffee maker and starting the brew. Suddenly, Theo hears a ring from Jaxa's phone.
"Shit!" She shouts, pulling out her phone and juggling it, then answering. "The fuck you want?" She yells into the phone. Theo watches her for a moment. "Fuck that! I'll be there when I want to be." She shouts, slamming her phone down.
"You okay?" Theo says, pouring two mugs of coffee.
"My dumbass boss." She responds, looking bored. Theo hands her the coffee as her ears perk up, and she smells and then sips it.
"At the assassins' guild?" Theo asks, sitting across from her, sipping his own coffee.
"Yeah, he's just pissed because I didn't show up on time yesterday." She says, sipping her coffee as her tail flicks in annoyance. "Now listen up." She says, causing Theo to sit up slightly.
"Lose the human stiffness and stick with me when you meet him today. I'll deal with his chaotic shit." She says, finishing her coffee.
"How do I be less human?" Theo asks, finishing his coffee quickly.
"Just act cool and don't mention angels, you'll be fine." She says, smirking as they leave the apartment. Theo's boots hit the metal fire, escaping his nervousness returning as he steps out of the window, looking at the dark dome-like sky above him.
"Cool isn't exactly my expertise," Theo says, following her down the stairs, the metal creaking with each step.
"Learn it then, Hell isn't exactly easy for people who can't keep their shit together." She says, jumping down the ladder. Theo slides down behind her as his boots splash into a puddle from the rain that night. "Just relax, you're in Hell now, no responsibilities, no politics, it's probably the freest you could ever be. Just keep your head down and maybe you'll make it out... somehow." She says, smirking behind her as the two walk through the alley to the main street. Theo remembers all the things he had to do back on earth, everything he had to think about just to seem normal in society, as he walks out onto the main street, light hitting his eyes as he looks out, seeing all manner of different-looking demons and creatures going about their day. Vibrant colors of different people, clothing from all time periods, wrapped in a consistent mix of beauty and horror. Theo's eyes widen as he freezes in the moment. Jaxa turns to look at him.
"Wow..." Theo says, looking in awe.
"Told you, Hell's pretty cool." She smiles her fangs out as her eyes scrunch from her grin. Theo suddenly doesn't feel overwhelmed or stiff; his body relaxes, and his eyes light up with a faint glow. "Watch it, glowing angel boy, keep that shit to yourself, or do you want every sinner in Hell crashing down on you?" She says, nudging him. Theo regains focus as his eyes go back to their normal hazel green.
"Sorry," He says as they continue to walk down the street. The two came up to the office building that he had been transported to the night before. Theo's fists clenched tightly as Jaxa opened the door, then relaxed as she grinned at him.
"Just don't say anything stupid and you'll be fine, and try not to look him in the eyes," Jaxa says, pushing him toward the door of his new job.
Theo walks into the room, and he is immediately met with a blank stare from a short demon hanging off the ceiling in front of him. The demon has bright orange skin with splatters of white. He has a long split tail, each end having a triangular shape at the end, and the demon is wearing a dark blue jacket with obvious blood stains. Theo stares blankly at the creature, his eyes meeting the demon's blue eyes and white horns.
"Who the fuck are you supposed to be?" The demon asks flamboyantly. His voice is mixed with a hiss. The demon suddenly drops from the ceiling, standing up, arms on his hips as he glares at Theo, only 4 feet off the ground.
"Fuck off, Montie!" Jaxa yells, kicking the small demon hard. "Theo, I told you not to do one thing." She says with annoyance.
"How was I supposed to know he'd be hanging from the ceiling?" Theo asks, dumbfounded. Jaxa ignores him and picks up the little demon by the collar.
"Listen up, Montie! You're hiring this piece of shit." She hisses in the little demon's face.
"Why would I do that?" Montie asks, struggling free from Jaxa's grip. Jaxa glares at him, her hackles raising and claws extending. Montie suddenly rushes behind Theo, using him as a shield. "Fine! Your first job is to keep her from me!" Montie yells, climbing up Theo's back like a frightened lizard. Theo stumbles around in utter confusion as Montie throws him off balance.
"Get... Off," Theo says as he grabs Montie and instinctively punts the little demon. Jaxa starts laughing at Theo's now flustered posture, and Montie, who landed on his face, his legs scorpioning around his back.
"See what I said about Hell keeping things entertaining. Do it again." Jaxa says with a mischievous smirk.
"Is that your boss?" Theo asks, nudging Montie with his foot.
"Yup, and he's yours now too." She says, grinning. "Just try not to look him in the eyes next time."
"Is he dead?" Theo asks, poking at Montie's body.
"Who knows?" She says, looking at her phone.
"What did I get myself into?" Theo says to himself. Suddenly, Montie shoots up with a sharp hand forward.
"Nice to meet you, kid, name's Montie-" Montie starts to say.
"He already fucking knows that." Jaxa interrupts.
"Bitch!" Montie yells before flinching violently at Jaxa's sudden mock movement towards him. "As I was saying... Welcome to the assassin's guild."
"Nice... to meet you. I'm Theo." Theo hesitantly says, taking the small demon's hand.
"Okay, I've got a shit ton of alcohol to finish by the end of the day before it gets repoed. I'll be in my office, Jaxa, figure out what to do with the newbie." Montie says, walking away into a nearby room and slamming the door.
"See, that wasn't so bad," Jaxa says, putting a hand on Theo's shoulder.
"Is that how every introduction down here is going to be?" Theo asks with concern and exhaustion.
"Depends on who you run into." She says with a grin. Theo sighs and relaxes his body again.
"Definitely the weirdest interview I've ever had."
"That's pretty normal down here." Jaxa winks.
"Alright... What now?" Theo asks.
"Take a job, kill some poor fuck that pissed the wrong person off, and don't die. Not necessarily in that order, but if it gets us paid." She says, counting on her claws. "Well, stick with the greed ring for now until you adapt to Hell properly."
"Greed ring?"
"You know, like the rings of Hell, it's where sinners end up based on what they did the most on earth." She explains, "We are currently in the 6th ring for heresy. It's where most contracts and atheists end up, along with the Mormons, surprisingly enough."
"That explains why I'm here. I was a full-fledged atheist before this," Theo says.
"Good, means you weren't dumb enough to believe in the shit that comes from upstairs," Jaxa responds with a grin. "Being smart will keep you alive, but learning to adapt will keep you happy down here." She says, smacking his back.
"Right, I can do that," Theo says, grinning.
"Just try and keep up when we are running from debt collectors with machine guns." She says with a smirk. "And I know that being from earth is a little different since we are going to be killing people, but remember, if someone is trying to kill you, don't hesitate." She says, looking into Theo's eyes. Theo nods with a determined expression. "Now look through this and find someone you don't like the look of." She says, pulling out a large book at least a foot thick and slamming it onto a desk in front of her. Theo's eyes widen as he looks at the book.
"What is this, a hit list or something?" He asks, turning through the pages.
"Exactly," Jaxa responds.
"And how do I know if the bounty is high enough?"
"Look at this number." She says, pointing at a small number underneath the photograph of a sinner. "If it has at least one comma, we kill the poor bastard. Two commas, we're off his family too." Jaxa says, smirking.
"Really!" Theo shouts in shock.
"No, I'm just kidding, that's if there are three commas." She laughs.
"How about this one?" Theo says as he flips to a random page instinctively without thinking. Jaxa looks down at the page and freezes in shock.
"Why that one?" She says, her ears flattening.
"I don't know, it just feels right," Theo says, finally looking at the page. On the page is a demon wearing a fancy suit, his eyes dark with a hunger, and the man resembled a humanoid wolf, like a hellhound, but its ears were sharp around a small fedora. His fangs were made of gold. Under the picture was a single name. "Mammon," Theo says, his words choking in the back of his throat. "Isn't that the prince of greed?"
"You sure know how to pick 'em," Jaxa says, rolling her eyes.
"It's the angel shit again." Theo realizes.
"They wanted you to kill the Sins, so they are pushing you towards them," Jaxa says, closing the book. "But fuck that, let's stick with normal assholes first," Jaxa says, holding a piece of paper. "Like this fucker." On the paper was a demon that had the appearance of a hammerhead shark, his eyes replaced with rubies. "Allen, Durian, worth 10k. Should be an easy one to start with." Jaxa says, grinning. Theo takes a deep breath and relaxes his body again, taking his mind off of Mammon.
"Let's do it."