Eric wakes up again, this time on a hospital bed, and he finds himself tied to the bed; the light on his face is strong as he hears some voices around him.
- We've never seen anything like this before.
- Is his heart on the left side of his body? That is insane!
- What did the police say about it?
- No, we are not telling the police about him!
- You are dragging me to some bad shit here, mate!
- They will take him to a military base, do some tests, and then again, make it a nazi discovery!
- And making it an American discovery will fly right through their radar?
- No, but let's just try to study him on our own, okay?
- Okay, let's try to wake him up.
Eric pretends to still be asleep, thinking to himself
- Okay, that mother fucker has just hit me with something to the head, and I am experiencing some sort of hillucinations, nothing more, just normal every day hillucinations, I will wake up back in the real world any moment now, and people who have been in short term comma or recieved traumatic head injuries experienced similar dreams, this is all a dream, I will be
- Shock him
One of the doctors said
- No! I'm awake, don't shock me!
Eric screams as he turns his head towards them to find a one-of-a-kind blonde doctor, along with an alien wearing a doctor's coat.
- So, you are awake!
The alien says as he checks Eric's heart monitor, and continues
- You were found in a supermarket, waking up and then fainting again after shouting some very offensive words to a fellow alien. You seem not to have a digital ID, as well as your DNA didn't match any existing digital ID, or to be more precise, didn't match any human DNA to begin with, and also you have a cheap knockout Apfel device that I couldn't trace to anything, which is insane, so would you tell me where you came from?
- My name is Eric, 24 years old, born and raised in NewYork, moved to LA with my mother after she and my father got a divorce five years ago, I work as a data analyst, and that's pretty much it.
The alien doctor starts typing those pieces of information into his laptop as the human doctor approaches Eric
- Alright, my name is Hitler, and my friend right here is named Gregorie. His parents are from Mars, but he was born and raised here on Earth. Mars is way too difficult.
- Yup! Nothing at all in here, to anyone named Eric.
The Alien doctor interrupts
- Hum! Can you run his DNA reversed? I mean, his heart is on the opposite side, maybe the same thing with the DNA!
Hitler says to Gregorie before he proceeds to ask Eric
- Alright, tell me what day this is?
- The 24th of July 2025,
Eric answers, checking Gregorie's face as he runs the reversed DNA test.
- That is correct. Can you tell me what you were doing right before waking up in that supermarket?
The blonde doctor asks, as Eric prepares to answer, the alien doctor interrupts them
- Still nothing at all, not a single match.
- Strange! So, can you tell me where you were?
- Yes, of course, I was going to the supermarket to get toilet paper for home, and.
Eric answers as Gregorie interrupts again
- What!? Toilet paper? What the hell is toilet paper?
Eric looks at him, confused, and goes
- Toilet paper? The rolled-up paper that we use to wipe our butts?
- You wipe your butt with paper? why?
Eric, even more confused, continues
- After you take a shit?
- Ah! he means like the old times we studied at school, that right after the greatest war we had started using those papers to wipe our butts, but thankfully, the German and Japanese innovation brought us Bdays that are extremely comfortable to use, but we have stopped using toilet paper in like what? Sixty? Seventy years?
Hitler doctor responds and questions Eric at the same time.
- What the heck do you mean by we don't make them anymore? And even more important! What the fuck do you mean by the greatest war?
- The greatest war? When did Sir Adolf Hitler, along with the Japanese Emperor, win the war? Most of Eastern Europe, Asia, and Africa became Japanese states. The Americas and Europe became German states. Have you ever been to school?
- What the fuck! That son of a bitch sent me to an alternative reality where the Nazis won the fucking Second World War? What the fuck!
Eric thinks to himself and responds to them
- Can you untie me? I have to make sure that I can trust you to share with you what has just happened!
Both of the doctors look at each other and go
- Yeah, what the hell!
And they untie Eric, helping him to sit and grab two seats near him
- Alright, Mr. Eric, what happened?
Hitler said to him, Eric sat and started.
- I think that I have come from another dimension! from a deffirent place where Germany and Japan lost the war mainly due to pressure from the Soviet Uniona And the US, I was entering a supermarket when my crazy physics high-school teacher shot me with a remote light that brought me here, he said something about a theory he has been working on in the past and that is finalized and where I came from, there aren't any aliens, and Mars as nothing but a rock.
They all sit in silence for a few seconds before Gregorie speaks
- Holly shit! This is a human from another dimension! Fuck! That explains everything! Fuck! We are screwed! Why did I put his DNA into the database? Fuck! We are so fucked!
As Hitler turns off all of the machines around them and shushes Gregorie.
- Don't panic, it is still under control; elsewhere, we would have already been raided by the police, so just chill.
Eric is sitting there in absolute confusion
- What do you mean?
- Anything related to dimension studies? Research or even theory discussion is absolutely prohibited in all of Nazi and Imperial Japan, no way! We are going to be sent to the inferior states, we will have the maximum internet speed of 3 GB per second, and we will have to wait at hospitals before being treated! We will have to work more than four days a week! Or even worse, we would be in contact with the negros! The Gypsies and the fucking Jews!
Gregorie responds in absolute panic as he walks in small circles around Eric's hospital bed.