"Hold tight!"
Skillfully sliding into the driver's seat, Bronya slammed the accelerator. With a beautiful drift, she shook off the few men in black closing in and sped out of the parking lot.
Mu Hanyin, who had also swallowed a mouthful of exhaust, spat several times, "Pah, pah, pah!" She turned her head, looking at Old Zhang with a face full of disbelief. "Who told you I'm here to arrest them?"
There was even a hint of grievance in her voice, which was particularly tugging at the heartstrings when paired with her delicate, baby-faced features.
As the saying goes, speak human to humans and ghost to ghosts. Faced with the mission handed down from above, Mu Hanyin's team had to execute it, but they also had to consider how to execute it.
Yes, inside the aerial battleship right now, the evil jester led by Situ Qinghong and the Schicksal trio—who were acting under the banner of "clearing the monarch's side"—were about to beat each other's brains out.
But the people down on the ground didn't know that!
The official document clearly stated to 'invite' the target to the capital. It also mandated that during the operation, they must ensure legal compliance, efficient coordination, timely reporting, and absolutely guarantee that the target's vital signs remained intact.
With so many prerequisites, how could they draw weapons and use force right off the bat?
Are their careers and lives worthless? Not everyone in the squad had combat power above B-Rank!
It wasn't just them. If Durandal hadn't violently blocked the door, the situation on the aerial battleship wouldn't have escalated to the point of drawing swords either.
Situ Qinghong would have more likely arranged to meet Fuli in a coffee shop. The handsome man and beautiful woman would have chatted happily in the warming atmosphere, and once the mood was right, she would have casually extended the invitation.
If that didn't work, add Yunli to the mix. Li-Bao's temper was directly proportional to her looks—both were Herrscher-class.
One could only say that the situation spiraling downward so rapidly was truly a case of "Heaven's will is hard to disobey."
For instance, right now. Facing the aggrieved Mu Hanyin, Old Zhang stood his ground, arms crossed, his stubbly face radiating disdain.
"Wearing stifling suits in the middle of summer is one thing, but wearing those crappy sunglasses too? Sneaking around like that... who would believe you're here to have a nice, friendly chat with Little Li? I've seen this kind of setup way too many times in movies and short videos!"
He was truly exercising his subjective initiative.
What? These people call themselves the OPBI? The Civil Paranormal Investigation Task Force?
Please, never heard of such a mouthful of a name. God knows if it's a setting from some novel!
Don't dream of making me betray a comrade I shared a detention cell with just a few words! Add money? Not even for extra money!
Seeing this, one of the subordinates in black whispered a complaint, "When will the Proper World popularize the concept of Honkai like the six Xianzhou ships and other World Bubbles? Every few days we end up being treated like outcasts, and occasionally we have to experience what it feels like to stand on the opposite side of the masses."
"If you ask me, it's the uniform," another yelled. "The guy's right. What normal person runs around in a suit in the summer? Sales? Insurance? Either way, it's super annoying."
Mu Hanyin glared at him. "It's better than letting you wear that Klee ita-shirt (anime graphic tee) to catch people like last time."
"Captain, that was different," the person in question argued plausibly. "Think about it. If you were a criminal, scanning the area... a suspicious new boss at the pancake stall, a suspicious new cleaning lady, or a suspicious damn otaku wearing a 2D game shirt blasting the new anime theme song—who would you suspect first?"
"Yeah, I'll never forget the look on that criminal's face when he watched you pull a brand new pair of rose-gold handcuffs out of a cute little dinosaur backpack. It shook his mother!"
The others chimed in agreement.
"You lot never mention how it affects our department's image in the eyes of others! Stop messing around, follow me!"
Mu Hanyin was infuriated by these unreliable subordinates. If they hadn't already notified the local government to pull nearby surveillance, she would have taken her scabbard and bonked them on the back of the head one by one!
Meanwhile, with the Trio.
"Hey, what do you guys think? We were just minding our own business—eating hotpot and singing songs—how did we suddenly get targeted by the OPBI?"
In the passenger seat, Fuli patted Bronya's small butt, signaling her to deal with the nearby cameras while she was at it.
"It's the Genghis Khan Mausoleum matter," Kiana replied from the back seat as a matter of course. "Making such a huge commotion in someone else's territory, of course they're going to come knocking and nagging afterwards."
The boy thought about it and agreed, but then started in shock, "In that case, was that drift just now too rude? We didn't touch the Shenzhou artifacts in the tomb. Running away like this makes us look guilty, like thieves."
"Not guilty," Bronya said coolly. "Look at this."
A giant photo appeared on the right car window. Fuli and Kiana leaned in to look, and the latter immediately unleashed a flurry of cat punches on the former. "Stinky Ah-Li! You actually took advantage of the Class Monitor to do that kind of thing!"
Yes, it was the Fu Hua kiss photo uploaded to the internet by Shuhu.
In the show Drawing Sword, the soldier from the 358th Regiment wanted to "screw Yamamoto's ancestors," but that was just trash talk. Here, someone actually kissed an Ancestor.
"Ancestor" (Xianren) sounds like "Celestial" (Xianren), and since Fu Hua fits both descriptions, he effectively screwed both the Celestial and the Ancestor at the same time. Truly amusing.
"What do you mean 'that kind of thing'?!"
Facing Kiana's wa-wa screaming and the cold glances Bronya threw occasionally, Fuli crossed his legs self-righteously. "How critical was the situation back then? The Taixuan Sword God was about to smash into our heads! Using the Outer Path power to usurp the Divine Essence from Cousin was a last resort!"
That... seems to make sense?
The white-haired dumpling scratched her head in confusion.
Metal Gear Bronya quickly discovered a bug: "That didn't require locking lips. Brother didn't use that method when sparring with Durandal last time."
"There were only a few seconds left; this was the most efficient way!"
Prisoner Li was well-prepared for this.
Not only that, he turned the tables and started gaslighting the girls: "Besides, isn't it because you two were too weak and took forever to pass a test? If I could rely on you guys, would I have to keep selling my body in different ways?"
Thinking back to turning into a shota in the Foggy Capital and being tasted all over by that pervert Rita, and now being lovey-dovey with Cousin Ah-Hua...
Fuli couldn't help but feel 'sorrow' welling up from within, burying his face in the center console and 'sobbing.'
"Ah-Li! Ah-Li, don't cry!"
The innocent Kiana panicked, hurriedly reaching out her small hand to pat his back in comfort.
"Heh!"
Bronya sneered, seeing through her cheap brother's scheme at a glance.
She jerked the steering wheel, deliberately running the front right tire over a protruding rock.
"Oof!"
Prisoner Li, lying on the center console, was launched into the air. He was wearing a seatbelt, so he wasn't hurt, but it allowed Kiana to see his true expression instantly.
"Ah! Li!"
Creak, creak— (Knuckle cracking sounds)
"Anyway, let's figure out how to escape."
Moments later, the boy wiped the saliva from his forehead and forcibly steered the topic back to business.
"Mmph, mmph, mmph!"
This came from the silly, cute Paramecium sitting in his lap, gnawing furiously on his head.
"There is one piece of bad news and one piece of good news."
Fuli raised his index finger. "The bad news is that the subtle change in the sky's color indicates that the aerial battleship has activated a wide-range anti-air barrier and abnormal energy source detection radar. The moment we use any Honkai-side power, we'll be detected and then surrounded by enemies."
Why did he know such details?
It was all blood and tears from the previous time loop.
He retracted his index finger and raised his middle finger at Bronya. "The good news is that we are only thirty or forty kilometers from the border between Shenzhou and the neighboring country. As long as we hurry, the probability of successfully exiting before the encirclement forms is very high."
Of course, they couldn't take the main roads.
But borders always have corners not completely covered by iron fences.
Why did Prisoner Li know the specific location?
He'd have to ask a certain fisherman who engaged in border smuggling operations.
It sounds fancy, but practically, it just meant moving some light industrial products to Central Asia.
Shenzhou's goods in that regard had an excellent reputation.
Buzz—!
The phone in his pocket vibrated. He took it out and saw that Old Zhang, the used car dealer, had @'ed him in the fishing group, asking about the situation.
One stone stirred up a thousand waves. As soon as he asked, many lurkers in the group popped up.
Unable to withstand their enthusiasm, the boy sighed and 'reluctantly' uploaded the kissing photo of himself and Cousin Ah-Hua. He added a caption explaining that the men in black intended to capture him for a forced marriage, and he was currently trying to leave Shenzhou to escape the tragic fate of becoming a live-in son-in-law to a wealthy family, living a life free of worry about food and drink, occasionally tasting the maidservants and concubines, and driving luxury cars while living in a huge villa.
The group fell silent instantly. After a long while:
Old Wang: Little Li, do you really want to escape such a tragic fate?
How Dare The Hand That Jerks Touch Hers: Yeah, sigh... why couldn't it be me?
Old Wang: Then your Uncle Wang is definitely helping with this favor!
Not just him.
Old Zhang: I'll plan the exit route!
Old Li: I'll get cars to block the enemy!
Old Lu: I'll mobilize the masses!
Old Jiang: I'll cheer for everyone!
The middle-aged old geezers in the group were filled with righteous indignation, impassioned, surging with emotion, and high on fighting spirit.
"Damn it, how can such a good thing fall into your lap, kid?"
"We guarantee to ruin it for you!!!"
...
Some time later, even though the local surveillance had been blocked by Bronya, relying on various non-combatant talents, Mu Hanyin's team quickly found the trio's car.
Seeing the taillights flash as it turned into a tunnel, the group turned around and lunged toward the side gate of a residential complex, intending to take a shortcut to intercept them!
They hadn't taken two steps when an old man in a security uniform walked up.
With a strange light flickering in his eyes under the police cap, he said with a straight face, "High-end community. Unauthorized personnel are forbidden from entering."
"No, uncle!" Mu Hanyin said urgently. "We just want to borrow the path. Just open the gate for us."
"Can't do that." The old man pointed to the food delivery riders behind them. "If I let you in, these young folks will definitely point at my nose and call me out for double standards."
"Exactly!" A Meituan delivery rider, clad in his 'yellow imperial robe,' leaned against his motorcycle and shouted, "Usually we have to walk in ourselves. Why should you be let through just because you ask? Just because you're dressed like the Black Organization from Detective Conan?"
His tone was extremely asking for a beating. An OPBI investigator grumbled, "Captain! Stop wasting words with them, just rush in!"
This man was incredibly huge, yet he was stuffed into tight clothes like a bodybuilder on stage. The fabric was stretched taut, looking ready to burst at any moment.
The security guard old man was startled. His eyes darted around, and suddenly, he covered half his face and fell to the ground. "Hit me! He hit me!"
"I can't believe you people!" The righteous delivery guy stepped forward. "This old man refuses to open the gate for me all day long. Looking at his age—he could be my dad—I tolerated it. But how could you do what I've always wanted to do... Pah, I mean, how could you casually hit someone?"
"I didn't! I don't! Don't talk nonsense!"
The muscle man looked anxious.
"Help! Someone's beating people up!"
The old man was still rolling on the ground shouting. Soon, a crowd of onlookers gathered, pointing fingers at the group, with taking out phones to record being standard procedure.
Seeing the situation blowing up, Mu Hanyin gritted her teeth. "Retreat first!"
"Yes!"
Watching their retreating backs, the delivery guy took out his phone. "Old Zhang, are you done on your end?"
A rough voice came from the receiver: "I've already got the people in the group to surround their car three layers deep, inside and out. I specifically instructed everyone not to leave a single phone number for moving the cars!"
"Heh, that's wicked!"
"But I like it!"
The delivery guy put down his phone and exchanged a wretched smile with the security guard old man who had scooted over.
Meanwhile, on the other side—
Bang!
"Do these people have any morals!" The muscle man punched a stone pier by the roadside. "Check! Get the traffic department to check who owns these license plates and make them come move the cars!"
"Too late," Mu Hanyin said coldly. "Call a taxi to chase."
Damn it, if only the bureau regulations didn't forbid revealing supernatural abilities in front of ordinary people...
"Someone called for a car?"
A Wuling Hongguang van wobbled to a stop beside them. The window rolled down slowly, and a middle-aged driver with a bulbous nose and a flushed face poked his head out.
It was Old Zhuge from the group, who had been assigned the next task.
"No time, him!"
Concern leading to chaos, Mu Hanyin was the first to dive into the van. The rest of the team squeezed in one after another, instantly packing the cramped cabin tight.
"Sit tight, everyone!"
Old Zhuge roared and slammed the accelerator to the floor.
But not far after the car started, the speed went limp and couldn't pick up.
Mu Hanyin glanced back in confusion and instantly understood the crux of the problem:
There were too many people in the car; it was severely overloaded!
"Driver! Driver!" she said hurriedly. "Is this car overloaded?"
The young woman intended to ask the driver to stop by the roadside so a few people could get off and catch another taxi to chase.
"It's a matter of saving the world," the others also tried to dissuade him. "If the traffic police catch us, a lot of points will definitely be deducted!"
"Deduct points?"
Old Zhuge's face was hazy, and the corners of his mouth curled up, revealing a comical smile. "You need a driver's license to have points deducted."
The team's clerk—an ordinary girl with a ponytail—felt a jolt in her heart. She instinctively gripped her seatbelt, her smile forced. "Driver, you... you dare to drive without a license?"
"No problemo (Mei shi -> Mei shi / 'passed away'), alcohol gives a coward courage!" Old Zhuge waved his hand carelessly, his tone even carrying a bit of heroism and mysterious confidence. "I just drank a jin (500g) of Erguotou! No problem, what are you afraid of?"
As his voice fell, the van swerved crookedly through a sharp turn.
The vehicle tilted violently, the sound of tires screeching against the ground piercing the ears.
"Then why don't you go get a license, driver?"
The ponytail girl asked almost subconsciously, her voice distorted by centrifugal force and fear.
"I have over two thousand degrees of myopia, and my right leg is a prosthetic. How do you expect me to take the test?!"
"Hey! Hey, driver, stop the car! I want to get off!"
"Get off? What getting off? The brakes are broken! Everyone hold on tight! We're going down a big slope!"
"AHHHHHHH! CAPTAIN SAVE MEEEEE!!!"
This time, the screams could no longer be suppressed. Filled with ultimate terror, they were instantly drowned out by the wailing of the engine and the sound of gravel splashing as the tires frantically rubbed against the mountain wall.
...