In the Hyperion's recreation room, warm yellow light reflected off the smooth metal surface of the bar counter, and the sweet aroma of drinks filled the air.
"When one or two people say I'm fat, this lady dismisses it."
Kiana sat cross-legged on a high stool at the bar, declaring with a serious face, "But when more and more people say I'm fat, I realize the gravity of the situation—there are getting to be more and more liars these days."
"Ah, yes, yes, yes. Brother is a liar, I am a liar, we are all big liars."
Sitting next to her, Big Bronya nonchalantly swirled the iced lemon water in her glass. Resting her chin on her pale wrist, she glanced sideways at the white-haired idiot who spoke with such conviction, her attitude extremely perfunctory.
"Besides, regarding weight gain, Bronya, you should obviously pay more attention to it!"
Kiana waved her small fist in dissatisfaction, then stared intently at her companion's surging curves.
Previously, she had been sick and hadn't had the time to notice.
Looking back now—good heavens! The originally smallest one had unknowingly inflated to such an extent!
The threat level was skyrocketing! Damn Silverwing: N-EX, is rooting yourself in the adopted sister route for a lifetime not good enough? Have you forgotten there's someone waiting for you in the Sea of Quanta!
Happy here, no thought of Seele, huh?!
"My weight has increased quite a bit, but that is simply the inevitable result of normal development."
The corners of Bronya's lips curved up. She turned around seemingly casually, elegantly propping her elbows on the bar counter behind her.
This action fully displayed the girl's now-proud figure.
Then she said, "Unlike someone, whose weight is purely caused by being fat."
"The people of the Tang Dynasty considered plumpness beautiful!"
"Fun fact: the 'plumpness' you refer to has another meaning—voluptuous."
Emperor Xuanzong of Tang was playing Azur Lane, not World of Tanks.
"Damn it!"
Kiana ground her teeth in anger. This was no ordinary Bronya anymore; she had to strike hard!
Just as the usual tension rose between the two, a third voice interjected at the right moment: "Miss, your Violet Fizz."
Kallen gently pushed a Collins glass filled with a dreamy liquid across the bar, spinning it until it stopped in front of Kiana.
The Big Sister playing bartender was still wearing the deep purple dress known as the Sixth Serenade. Her aura, like dark night raven feathers, combined with her high attractiveness and the perfectly proportioned long legs revealed under the skirt, made her charm go off the charts.
Considering this unscrupulous Saintess had worn this outfit multiple times in dreams to play some "you in me, me in you" breeding mini-games with her little brother, appearing before the girls in such attire made it hard not to wonder if she was intentionally showing off.
Unfortunately, the other two knew nothing about this.
Staring at the purple blob in the glass, Kiana questioned, "I don't understand what Fizz or no Fizz means. Is this thing you mixed drinkable?"
"Relax, relax!"
Kallen gave a cheerful thumbs-up, smiling brilliantly. "The so-called art of bartending is adding ingredients to the death as long as it doesn't actually kill you!"
"That makes me even more worried, okay!"
Despite her words, Kiana held the cold glass and took a small sip like a hamster.
"How is it?"
"Uh... it's okay?"
"Did you not feel that wondrous sensation of biting down on a drinkable flower with every sip?"
Kallen guided her patiently.
"I dunno."
Kiana looked blank.
"Don't make drinks so complicated. You make it sound like a book report. Pretensious."
Bronya bit her straw and slurped her iced lemon water.
"Tch, fine."
Kallen put down the brightly polished glass with slight disappointment. Light and shadow flowed over her body, changing her back into the classic high-slit white silk nun outfit. "When do you plan to do the farewell stream?"
"Going right after I finish this."
Kiana tapped lightly on the bar's holographic screen, logging into Bilibili.
Looking at the quirky and lively avatar on the account, she sighed rarely. "Oh my, thinking about Director Hu graduating so soon, I actually feel a bit reluctant."
Under Fuli's repeated urging, the girl had finally decided to end her VTuber career as Director Hu Tao of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
The buff of "whoever she follows gets into trouble" was truly too hard to handle. She thought Raiden Makoto could escape this cycle of fate, but who knew such a big commotion would occur?
Honestly, it was a pity.
After experiencing so many events, Director Hu's popularity had risen instead of falling, her fan count having long broken the one million mark.
It was cursed, yes, but the essence of the internet was just a giant version of "Florida Man." You could be dead, but you couldn't be boring.
The more antics you had, the more surging traffic you could eat.
What? Whoever she follows gets into trouble?
Does it matter whose son dies? As long as the bad luck doesn't fall on me, nothing is bigger than having fun!
"Lucky we didn't sign with those studios, or we'd have to pay an extra breach of contract fee."
Bronya stirred the ice cubes in her glass, her smile suddenly turning wicked. "It wouldn't matter even if we did sign. Whoever dares to chase after the penalty, Idiot Kiana, just go give them a follow."
"Hey!"
Laughing to death. What do you mean "promise not to use Director Hu first"?
It was basically the Hyperion's newly developed strategic deterrence weapon.
The process of setting up the streaming equipment went exceptionally smoothly. With a snap of Kallen's fingers, all devices were ready.
"Christina—"
"Call me Sister Kallen!"
"Sister Kallen," Kiana called sweetly. "We are currently on the Indian Ocean. I'm counting on you for network stability and everything."
"Rest assured."
Kallen was brimming with confidence. "As long as it's not interference from a super AI of the same level, I guarantee your journey will be unimpeded!"
"Alrighty!"
"You guys get busy."
Seeing them start debugging, Bronya felt a bit bored, so she waved her hand and left the recreation room.
"Blegh!"
Sticking her tongue out at Bronya's retreating back, Kiana sat on the sofa and put on the virtual avatar capture equipment. The familiar image of Hu Tao was instantly projected onto the stream screen.
She took a deep breath and opened with her signature lively tone:
"Hello everyone! I am the 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor—Hu Tao!"
Since the stream room had opened early and the title bluntly stated [Graduation Announcement: Hu Tao's Farewell Tea Party], tens of thousands of viewers flooded in like a tide. An overwhelming barrage of comments drowned the screen in the blink of an eye.
All sorts of questions flew by, but the core was singular: Why run away when your popularity is at its peak? Are you financially free? So arrogant?
Kiana's answer was simple and crude, even carrying a hint of smugness:
"Hehe, the reason for graduation is simple."
"This lady has a boyfriend now!"
One stone stirred up a thousand waves. The scrolling speed of the barrage skyrocketed again.
Shock, wailing, blessings, doubts—various emotions intertwined. More people realized Director Hu truly intended not to return to this industry; otherwise, there was absolutely no need to burn her bridges so thoroughly.
Yes, the negative impact of a VTuber self-destructing by revealing a boyfriend was just that severe, no less than a teen idol doing the same.
Don't misunderstand; many VTubers actually have boyfriends/girlfriends in private, and many fans realize this.
But publicly announcing it so bluntly was another matter entirely.
"Boyfriend?"
Inside Massive Electric, Raiden Mei paused in handling documents. Glancing at the stream on her split screen, she immediately understood who her best friend was referring to.
She wasn't annoyed; instead, she continued multitasking, listening to the stream while reading a thesis.
Out of safety considerations (confirmed), she monitored Fuli and Kiana's communications, so she naturally knew this was purely an excuse. The two hadn't officially established a relationship yet.
Not a big problem, not a big problem!
On the other side, Kallen licked her lips with interest: What? My little brother became your boyfriend?
Well, your boyfriend's performance in dreams is amazing. Big Sister is super satisfied!
But regardless, once this stream ended, Kiana would be free of official duties.
Even though many die-hard fans were reluctant to part, she planned to chat for a while longer and then end the stream to eat dinner.
Today, the chef Cat Cakes had made seared tuna sashimi. The girl planned to video call Fuli, far away in the Fog Capital, while eating, to properly anger that philandering big carrot who flirted everywhere!
Making you that Tribios's knight, hmph!
Unexpectedly, just as Kiana finished her speech and prepared to say goodbye, a request for a live connection abruptly popped up.
At the same time, many people poured into Director Hu's stream room. The real-time viewer count more than doubled.
A million-follower streamer's graduation announcement was already enough to attract many people.
For the viewer count to double just from a direct connection request, one could imagine the other party was absolutely the top of the top tier on the platform.
Sure enough, after connecting, the screen split in two.
On the left was the quirky and cute Director Hu Tao. On the other side was a real person on camera.
A thin face, prominent nostrils, thick eyebrows, big eyes, and glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.
His looks were passable, but he inexplicably gave off the feeling of a donkey.
Kiana recognized him. The famous appraisal uploader, Lingquan Appraisal, who frequently livestreamed appraisals of various antiques.
As soon as the connection was established, the other party actively introduced his purpose:
In a previous program, Kiana had proudly claimed that when she traveled to the Kanas region in the Divine State's Sky Territory, she had found quite a few rare items in the local antique market.
At that time, the "Director Hu Curse" was rampant. Lingquan Appraisal didn't disbelieve the evil enough to force her to follow him, but they had agreed to a live connection later to help appraise the antiques.
Who knew the former would ghost him for over half a month? It was even worse than the pigeons of Assassin's Creed.
Finally hoping for Director Hu to come online, it turned out she was quitting the internet and graduating. That was why he rushed over.
"Oh, oh! So that happened..."
Kiana scratched her head awkwardly, evidently having forgotten this matter completely.
Well, how could such trivial matters compare to the importance of Ah-Li's safety observed by the Eye of Distant Vision?
Thinking like this, the girl felt at ease again.
"Then shall we start?"
But since she had promised and he had specially come looking, Kiana didn't plan to flake out.
During her mission in Kanas, she had indeed scavenged quite a few treasures from street stalls. It wouldn't hurt to show them to people.
"First is this!"
Kiana fished out a blue and white porcelain cup from her pocket with a flourish. "It's this! The uncle who sold it to me swore it was an old antique from the late Ming and early Qing dynasties. It's rare!"
She said triumphantly, "A rare item with only two in the whole world! This lady has one, and the Palace Museum has one!"
"Hoh! Let me see."
Lingquan Appraisal leaned close to the screen. The small eyes behind his glasses suddenly widened, and he sucked in a breath of cold air. "This... this looks authentic at first glance! Little girl, show me more carefully. Side, bottom, yes, yes, shoot it from all angles. It's a bit scary, hey!"
Hearing this, Kiana confidently adjusted the camera angle. She thought to herself, My European Emperor (lucky) constitution is certified by Ah-Li and Mei themselves. Finding a real antique at a street stall is easier than getting a full-constellation, full-refinement character in a gacha game ten-pull!
Soon, the other angles were displayed one by one.
Lingquan sucked in another breath of cold air, pointing at the inscription on the bottom of the cup, his voice changing pitch. "Late Ming, early Qing?"
"Absolutely true! Late Ming, early Qing!"
"That is indeed a bit scary." The man's mouth twitched. "Little girl, when you bought it back, didn't you see what was written on the bottom of this cup?"
"Written what?"
Kiana looked blank. She turned the bottom of the cup to face the camera:
[Made in Jingdezhen, Microwave Safe.]
"WHOSE LATE MING EARLY QING HAD MICROWAVES!"
Bronya, watching the stream in her own room, burst into earth-shattering laughter. Clutching her stomach, she collapsed onto the bed, witnessing a real-life case of "Shang Dynasty? Last week!" for the first time.
Even Lingquan, responsible for the appraisal, almost lost it. But it had to be said, the entertainment value was maxed out, especially paired with Director Hu's incredulous, dazed expression.
"Little girl, is there more?"
He tried hard to keep a straight face, repeating in his heart again and again: We are professionals, we won't laugh.
"Pfft!"
Unless we can't hold it in.
"—Yes! Yes!"
Recovering, Kiana's face flushed red. She pulled out a pile of treasures scavenged from the Kanas street stalls from her spatial storage and shoved them all in front of the camera.
Next came a grand serial drama of failures.
"Mona Lisa's Smile holding two Desert Eagles. If I say it's fake, will she crawl out of the painting and shoot me?"
"Ink wash painting depicting 87-year-old Qi Baishi fighting Aliens in outer space? Good grief, case solved. The Aliens evolved from a branch of alien shrimp."
"Ancestral white marble clothes hanger? Sister, what are you asking me to appraise about this plastic hanger?"
"Look at the shape of this pot. It's a Domu pot, very popular in the Qing Dynasty. The shape existed as early as the Yuan Dynasty. Bottom says 'Tai Cultural Media Co., Ltd. · Fired in the Yuan Dynasty'—My god, alright, too awesome!"
The stream room completely descended into a sea of joy. The appraiser and the audience all laughed like pigs.
Only Kiana's face in front of the screen was red enough to bleed, from both shame and anger.
Until the last item, a "Namo Shakyamuni Tathagata Buddha wearing a kasaya," was appraised. Lingquan Appraisal looked at the online viewer count breaking one hundred thousand and the screen full of gift effects, then looked at Director Hu Tao in the video who looked like she was about to cry any second. His gaze was full of regret.
What a good seedling!
With such natural comedic effect, why graduate so suddenly?
Unexpectedly, this pitying look became the final straw that broke Kiana's rationality.
She casually took out a certain treasure she had scavenged from the Mausoleum of Genghis Khan from her four-dimensional skirt. Without even looking at it, she slammed it onto the table with a pa.
"What about this!"
The girl demanded with red eyes, "Is this fake too?!!"
Oho! She's frantic! She's frantic!
Director, don't cry! If it's fake, we'll dig again!
The joyous barrage still didn't care. While roasting her, everyone focused their gazes on the object on the table that looked quite substantial.
BOOM—!
The instant the camera focused, an indescribable impact, like an invisible storm crossing space, swept over everyone watching it.
This had nothing to do with physics, but was a longing and tremor originating from the depths of a Divine State person's soul toward a certain supreme authority.
The object was about four inches square, with a warm texture and deep color. Five lifelike divine dragons were coiled on top, displaying full majesty.
Especially eye-catching was one corner, which had been strikingly repaired with brilliant gold inlay.
On the face of the jade seal were deeply carved eight ancient and solemn seal script characters. Each stroke seemed to contain the majestic might of heaven.
"Come on! Everyone look if this is real or not!"
Kiana leaned forward, glaring at the screen like a gambler who had lost everything.
The next second, the anger on her face was replaced by astonishment.
The screen went black. The stream signal was forcibly cut.
"Wait a minute? What happened to 'as long as it's not interference from a super AI of the same level like Ella, Femirins, or Bai Ze, I guarantee your journey will be unimpeded'?"
"This lady was just about to turn things around! Sister Kallen, you failed me!"
The girl's grief-stricken accusation resounded over the Indian Ocean.
Almost simultaneously, far away in East Asia, in the conference room under the Divine State's Anti-Honkai Council.
In the vast space, a deathly silence descended like a heavy curtain.
Everyone present, from Jiaoqiu to Lingsha, then to Yanqing, Bailu, and others, had expressions frozen on their faces as if copy-pasted. Shock, confusion, disbelief—they were even more composed than Situ Qinghong had been just moments ago.
Their gazes were stuck like magnets to the place where the video had frozen.
That square gold-inlaid jade seal that Director Hu had slammed onto the table in anger, and those eight incredibly clear seal script characters on it:
—Having received the Mandate from Heaven, may (the Emperor) lead a long and prosperous life!
"Is that... the Heirloom Seal of the Realm?"
Someone muttered to themselves.
As if a giant boulder had been thrown into a stagnant pool, the entire conference room exploded instantly.