I woke up before dawn on my twentieth birthday to the sound of rain hammering against the small window near the ceiling of my basement room. The thin mattress beneath me did nothing to cushion the cold floor, and my blanket had more holes than fabric. I lay there for a moment, staring at the water-stained ceiling and wondering if this year would be any different from the last nineteen.
It wouldn't be. I knew that. But some small, stupid part of me couldn't help hoping anyway.
I dragged myself out of bed, my body protesting every movement. Yesterday's work had left me with new bruises to add to the collection of old ones that never quite healed before fresh ones appeared. I ran my hands over my arms, feeling the raised bumps and tender spots, and sighed.
The room I lived in was barely bigger than a closet. It had been a storage space before Alpha Thorne decided to put me in it. There was just enough room for my mattress, a small wooden crate that held my few possessions, and a cracked mirror that hung on one wall. No heat, no proper light except what came through the tiny window, and a constant smell of mildew that I'd long since stopped noticing.
I splashed cold water on my face from the basin in the corner and tried to make myself presentable. My dark hair was a tangled mess, so I combed through it with my fingers and pulled it back into a bun. I looked at my reflection in the cracked mirror and barely recognized the girl staring back.
When did I start looking so tired? When did my eyes get that hollow look?
I shook my head and turned away from the mirror. There was no point dwelling on things I couldn't change. I had work to do, and birthdays didn't mean anything when you were an omega in the Silverwood Pack.
I put on my least worn dress a faded blue thing that used to belong to someone else and headed upstairs to start my morning duties. The pack house was quiet at this hour, with most wolves still sleeping. I liked these early morning moments when I could move through the halls without worrying about running into anyone who might decide to make my day worse.
My first task was always starting the fires in the main gathering rooms. It was late autumn, and the mornings were getting cold. I worked quickly, my movements practiced and efficient. Get the kindling, arrange it properly, use the flint and steel to spark it to life. I'd done it so many times I could probably do it in my sleep.
As I worked in the main gathering room, I heard footsteps on the stairs. My whole body tensed automatically, but I forced myself to keep working on the fire. Maybe whoever it was would just pass by without noticing me.
"Happy birthday, Nessa."
I turned around, startled. Cassidy stood in the doorway holding a small bundle wrapped in cloth. She was smiling despite the early hour and the fact that she should still be sleeping like everyone else.
"Cass, what are you doing up?" I asked, standing and brushing soot off my hands.
"I wanted to catch you before the day got crazy," she said, walking over and pressing the bundle into my hands. "Open it."
I unwrapped the cloth carefully and found a small piece of chocolate inside. Real chocolate, not the cheap stuff we sometimes got in the kitchen. This was the expensive kind that the ranked wolves ate. My eyes went wide.
"Cassidy, you can't...this must have cost...."
"Don't worry about it," she said quickly, wrapping me in a quick hug. "Everyone deserves something special on their birthday. Even if no one else in this goddess-forsaken pack remembers."
My throat got tight. Cassidy was the only person in the entire Silverwood Pack who'd ever acknowledged my birthday. The only one who treated me like I was a person instead of just a servant to be used and ignored.
"Thank you," I whispered, carefully wrapping the chocolate back up. I'd save it for later, make it last. "This means everything to me."
"I wish I could give you more," Cassidy said, her smile turning sad. "You deserve so much more than this life, Nessa. I hope tonight at the gathering, something good happens for you. I really do."
The gathering. My stomach twisted with anxiety just thinking about it. In a few hours, I'd have to stand in that great hall with all the unmated wolves and pretend I wasn't dying inside while everyone avoided me like I had a disease.
"It'll be fine," I lied, giving Cassidy what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "Just another gathering. Nothing special."
Cassidy looked like she wanted to say something else, but then we heard more footsteps above us. She squeezed my hand quickly. "I need to get to the kitchen. Chef will have my head if I'm late. But Nessa? Tonight, hold your head high. You're worth ten of these arrogant wolves, even if they're too stupid to see it."
She hurried away, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the small piece of chocolate that felt like a treasure. I tucked it carefully into my pocket and went back to building fires, but my mind kept drifting to the gathering tonight.
The morning passed in a blur of work. I scrubbed floors, hauled laundry, cleaned out fireplaces, and did a dozen other tasks that left me exhausted before noon even arrived. Around mid-morning, I was carrying a basket of dirty linens through the main hallway when I nearly ran into Marcus.
He was talking with his father, Alpha Thorne, both of them discussing something about territory borders. I immediately pressed myself against the wall, trying to make myself as small and invisible as possible while I waited for them to pass.
But Marcus's eyes landed on me, and he stopped mid-conversation.
"Nessa," he said, his voice carrying that edge of contempt it always held when he spoke to me. "Why are you standing there like a statue? Don't you have work to do?"
"Yes, sir. I was waiting for you to pass," I said quietly, keeping my eyes down.
"How considerate," Alpha Thorne said, but his tone made it clear he found nothing considerate about it. He was an older version of Marcus tall, muscular, with grey streaking through his black hair. He looked at me the same way his son did, like I was something unpleasant stuck to his shoe. "Tell me, girl, how old are you now?"
The question surprised me. Alpha Thorne had never asked me anything personal before. "Twenty today, sir."
"Twenty." He exchanged a look with Marcus that I couldn't read. "And still no wolf to speak of, correct?"
My face burned with shame. It was true my wolf was barely present, so weak I could hardly shift. Most wolves got their full abilities by age fifteen. At twenty, I should have been strong and capable, but instead I was stuck with a wolf that felt more like a whisper than a presence.
"No, sir," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Pathetic," Alpha Thorne said flatly. "Five more years and we'll have to consider whether keeping you around is worth the resources you consume. Even charity has its limits."
The words hit me like a physical blow. Five years. If I didn't somehow prove my worth in five years, they'd throw me out of the pack. I'd be a lone wolf with no protection, no pack, nothing. Lone wolves didn't survive long, especially weak ones like me.
"Yes, sir," I managed to say, though my mouth felt dry. "I understand."
"See that you do." Alpha Thorne turned back to Marcus, dismissing me completely. "Now, about those border patrols..."
They walked away, continuing their conversation like they hadn't just told me I was on borrowed time. I stood frozen against the wall, my heart pounding. Five years. I had five years to somehow become valuable enough to keep around, or I'd be cast out to die.
I forced myself to move, continuing on with the laundry like nothing had happened. But inside, I was spiraling. What could I possibly do to prove my worth? I was weak, I had no special skills, no family connections, nothing that would make me valuable to a pack like Silverwood.
Maybe they were right. Maybe I really was worthless.
I shook my head hard, trying to dislodge those thoughts. I couldn't afford to fall apart, not now. I had too much work to do, and tonight I had to face the gathering. I could have my crisis later, in the privacy of my tiny room where no one would see.
The afternoon dragged on. I helped prepare food for the gathering platters of meat, vegetables, breads, and desserts that I would never get to taste. My stomach growled as I worked, reminding me that I'd only had a small piece of bread this morning. But there would be scraps later, after all the ranked wolves had eaten their fill. That's what omegas got the leftovers, the parts no one else wanted.
As evening approached, I was finally dismissed to get ready for the gathering. I hurried back to my room and looked at my limited clothing options. I had three dresses the blue one I was wearing that was now dirty from a day of work, a grey one that was even more threadbare, and a slightly nicer brown one that Cassidy had given me last year.
I washed up as best I could with cold water and put on the brown dress. It was too big for me, hanging loose on my thin frame, but it was clean and had fewer stains than the others. I tried to do something with my hair, but without proper supplies, the best I could manage was pulling it back and pinning it with a wooden clip I'd carved myself from a broken chair leg.
I looked at myself in the cracked mirror and sighed. I looked like exactly what I was, a poor omega in borrowed clothes who didn't belong anywhere. But there was nothing I could do about it now. I had to go to this gathering because attendance was mandatory, and missing it would result in punishment I didn't want to think about.
I made my way to the great hall, my stomach churning with anxiety. I could already hear voices and laughter coming from inside. The gathering had started.