Boom.
A wave of heat slammed into my back. I stopped mid-step and turned.
The sky above the Nanga Shrine was burning red, fireballs bursting in midair like some demented fireworks festival. From a distance, it was almost beautiful.
Looked like the old men had reached the "arguments no longer require logic" phase.
"…Um."
A shaky child's voice drifted from the bushes beside the path. I glanced over and found three little kids clutching cameras, staring wide-eyed at the fiery explosions.
"B-big brother… did enemies invade the village?"
I walked over, ruffled their hair, and put on my gentlest, "please don't panic" smile.
"No. That's the Uchiha shrine. They're just… discussing things."
The kids blinked at the fireballs in the sky.
It did not look like "discussion."
At all.
But I guess a handsome oniisan has credibility.
"By the way," I asked, glancing at their cameras, "you three aren't Uchiha. What are you doing here?"
The kid in front brightened, raising his camera like a prized weapon. "The Fourth Hokage's wedding is coming up! We wanted to film a congratulatory message from a great spot. Big brother, do you want to record one too?"
A congratulatory clip, huh…
I've never even talked to Namikaze Minato. What exactly do I congratulate him for?
But the kids' eyes were too expectant.
I sighed, fixed my hair, and faced the lens.
"Congratulations on your marriage, Fourth Hokage-sama. Congratulations to you as well, Kushina-sama."
I flashed a peace sign, the camera clicked, and that was that.
I waved them off and headed home. I needed to pack and prepare for my great escape on the day of the wedding, when security would be stretched thin.
Konoha was a beautiful blend of classical architecture and chakra-powered convenience. Easy to love, hard to leave.
I didn't want to go.
But I had no cheat. No super-genius talent. I wasn't one of those eight-year-old Kage-level monsters who could destroy half the village by sneezing.
And worst of all, my mouth was useless. Eighteen years here and I still couldn't talk my way out of danger. Last time I tried "verbal ninjutsu" on a battlefield, I got stabbed for it.
Even if I somehow stopped one Uchiha Itachi, who's to say a second one wouldn't show up? The real threat wasn't individuals; it was the elders who controlled the narrative.
Eighteen years of training, and I still wasn't sure I could beat Danzō.As for Hiruzen? Yeah. No chance.
"Kushina-sama."
A chorus of respectful greetings snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked ahead and saw Uzumaki Kushina, her long red hair glowing under the sun. She was standing in the street with a basket full of baby supplies, returning greetings with her usual warmth.
My eyebrow twitched.
"So… the future Uzumaki Naruto has already started growing," I muttered.
As I passed her, I nodded politely, bought some food from a nearby stall, and headed home.
Kushina was pregnant. That meant the Nine-Tails Night was less than ten months away.
Wonderful.
One month later.Early morning, the day of Minato's wedding.
Bang.
I dropped the last bundle onto the table and looked around my now-empty house. Everything that could be sold was sold. Every ryo converted into kunai, explosive tags, and tools from Granny Cat's shop.
Black market prices were daylight robbery. They banked on defectors not daring to haggle.
Unfortunately, houses couldn't be sold. If they could, I might have had enough to buy rations for a year.
Every day this past month, I'd watched Kushina's belly grow rounder.Every day, my anxiety grew sharper.
Fear.Irritation.Resignation.Sadness.
She wasn't my lover. The baby wasn't mine.
But I was an Uchiha.
After the Nine-Tails attack, the clan's status would plummet. And with no omniscient "viewer knowledge," there was no way to convince anyone that the Sharingan flickering in the Nine-Tails' eyes wasn't us.
Even academy kids knew the Sharingan belonged to the Uchiha.
And years later, Itachi—the clan's prodigal sword—would rise.
I stared at the familiar scenery outside my window, then pulled out my Konoha forehead protector.
"Don't worry. I'll burn incense for you every holiday," I murmured.
Now came the big question:Horizontal slash or vertical slash for defectors?
Before I could decide—
Ding.
A cold, mechanical voice echoed in my mind.
[Host detected. Counterattack System initializing.][Name: Uchiha Tobika][Age: 18][Affiliation: Uchiha Clan][Rank: Jonin]
I froze, kunai already in hand. Then the meaning sank in.
A system.Now?After I already decided to defect?
Seriously?
The voice continued:
[This is the Counterattack System. Its mission is to help the host surpass Uzumaki Naruto and become the strongest in the ninja world.][Receive Beginner's Gift Pack?]
Surpass Naruto?Ambitious.Terrifying.But also… tempting.
"Receive," I said.
A pile of items shimmered onto the table.
I picked up the first one: a strange voucher covered in bold lettering.
"'Unlimited Honey-Mustard Fried Chicken Family Bucket. Crush to summon.'"
I stared at it.
Fried chicken?Unlimited?
How did that help me get stronger?If anything, it helped me gain weight.
I grabbed the next item.
"'Academy Textbook Speed-Learning Card (3 days). One day equals one month of mastery.'"
Huh.
Then another.
"'Will of Fire: Annotated Edition. Contains teachers' notes. Memorize to avoid Danzō's scrutiny.'"
Useful? Maybe?
Next—
"'Teacher Habit Compendium. Memorize to skip class without being caught.'"
And finally—
"'Chakra-powered Micro Camera. Records every second at the academy.'"
I stared.
Blink. Blink.
"…System. These are for academy students."
[Host Rank: Jonin.]
"…Then why is my gift pack for kids?"
[No error.]
"My strength?"
[Jonin.]
"The intended user for this gift pack?"
[Academy student.]
"…Did you send the wrong one?"
[No error.]
I took a deep breath.
Then another.
Then I picked up my bag… and walked out the door toward the nearest park.
"Defection can wait. The Fourth Hokage's wedding banquet is about to start. I'm getting free food first."