CHAPTER 05: Our Distance - Miles Apart Hearts Aligned 01

[~~~] Arabic dialogue

"~~~" Indonesian dialogue

KHADIJAH'S POV

INSIDE MY HOUSE

It's been five months since my family and I moved to Indonesia. Time really flies so fast.

6:30 PM. Just like always, Halim, Abdullah, and I were in the kitchen together.

I looked at Abdullah sitting on a chair, holding a small pencil in his tiny hand, trying to write letters of the alphabet in his notebook placed on the dining table.

Halim sat next to Abdullah, patiently guiding my little brother with a calm tone and a gentle smile.

Meanwhile, I sat across from them, writing in my diary and thinking about everything that had happened in the past five months.

A lot has happened during these five months. Abdullah rarely goes out by himself anymore. Ever since that incident—when a strange man tried to kidnap him—Abdullah's been scared.

But strangely, that fear just disappears whenever Halim is around. It's kind of touching, honestly. Abdullah really trusts Halim. Maybe even more than anyone else.

Abdullah always asks Halim to play football with him in our yard. Sometimes, brother Abbas and I join them. It's always fun—like for a short moment, we're a small family who forgets that we're actually foreigners in this country.

At first, I used to think that the only boys or men who'd ever be kind to me were Abdullah, brother Abbas, my father, and my family back home, far away. But everything changed after I met Halim here.

And this isn't a lie, I've never met a boy as kind as Halim. Before coming to Indonesia, most boys I met were rough and rude to me—whether at school or in dark and quiet places.

But Halim… he's completely different from all of them. Turns out, there are still people like him in this world. And I'm glad… really glad.

At school, Halim and I often talk and study together in the library. Even Latifah and Halim's close friends sometimes join us.

At first, I thought language lessons would always feel like being trapped in a long, silent hallway, boring and endless. But Halim made it feel like solving a puzzle. He always had weird but fun ways to explain things, especially when it came to language subjects.

Oh, that reminds me. Halim once said that Abdullah learns really fast, and he's right. Can you imagine? In just five months, a four-year-old boy like Abdullah can already speak Indonesian, even though he still stutters sometimes.

It's both surprising and amazing. My mom and brother Abbas are so proud of Abdullah. And that's all thanks to Halim's guidance.

But tonight… my thoughts feel a little distracted.

There's something that's been bothering me. It's about Halim and Latifah.

Lately, Latifah's been really close to Halim. They often talk and laugh together at school. I don't even know why I noticed that. But somehow, I can't stop wondering what's really going on between them.

I looked at Halim and gathered up the courage to ask.

"Halim."

"What is it, Khadijah?"

"Lately, you and Latifah seem to be spending a lot of time together at school. I want to know… is Latifah your girlfriend?"

Halim went silent.

Then Halim looked down at the dining table and smiled. A smile that somehow made my cheeks burn a little.

I don't even know why, but that smile always makes me speechless.

"Latifah's not my girlfriend. She's my best friend."

"Your best friend?"

"Yeah. She's like Karim. Latifah was my first friend when I started kindergarten."

"Oh, so Latifah's your childhood friend?"

"You could say that. Childhood friend works… but best friend isn't wrong either."

I lowered my head a little and stayed quiet for a few seconds. Then another question slipped out.

"But… do you have a girlfriend, Halim?"

"My parents don't let me date, so no, I don't. Why are you asking, Khadijah?"

"…No reason. I just wanted to know."

For a moment, I stayed silent. But inside my heart, a strange feeling began to rise.

It felt like relief or maybe… happiness. Not ordinary happiness, but something warmer.

Something soft and glowing filled my chest.

My cheeks were hot. And I didn't even need a mirror to know I was blushing.

And for the first time since coming to this country, I felt a little stupid for smiling for no reason.

I have to hide my smile from Halim. I don't want to look weird in front of Halim.

No. No. No. I'm not in love. It's not what you think!

But at the same time, another thought popped into my head. That happy feeling slowly turned into a bit of guilt.

I realized… I haven't repaid Halim's kindness at all.

All this time, Halim's been there for me and for my family. He's the one who taught Abdullah how to speak Indonesian, and he's helped me every time I got confused in class.

I still remember. Whenever the teacher explained something I didn't understand, Halim, who sat next to me, would give me small hints, sometimes with just a glance or a quiet mumble. And suddenly, everything felt easier to understand.

But every time I tried to give Halim something back—like food, a small gift, or even just a proper thank you… Halim always refused.

But tonight, I'll try again.

"Halim."

"Yeah?"

"My Indonesian's gotten a lot better now. I don't hesitate anymore when I talk. Thank you so much."

"That's because of your effort, Khadijah. I didn't do much, so… you don't have to thank me."

"But still. Without your help, I wouldn't have improved this much. I really need to thank you properly."

"Alright, alright. If you really want to say thanks, then my answer is you're welcome."

"I really want to return your kindness. Is there anything I can do for you in return?"

"You don't have to—"

"I mean it, Halim. I really want to repay you. You've helped me and my family so many times. I'd feel guilty if you kept helping us and never got anything in return. Just tell me what you want, and I'll be happy to do it for you."

Halim went silent.

I could see his eyes look blank for a few seconds, as if Halim was thinking about something serious.

"You know… there's actually one thing I want—"

"What is it?! Tell me!"

"—!!!"

My loud voice startled both Halim and Abdullah.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hands. I didn't mean to scare them.

"…You sound really excited, huh?"

"We're neighbors, right? So we should help each other."

After everything Halim's done for me and my family, I am ready to do anything to return the favor. And I am sure Halim wouldn't ask for anything weird like—

"Can we start keeping a little distance at school from now on?"

The room suddenly went silent.

I froze. And I wasn't sure I'd heard Halim right.

"…What?"

"Lately, some students at school haven't been happy seeing us together all the time. So, I think… we should start reducing how much we talk at school. What do you think?"

"That…"

Halim's words echoed in my head, and they made my heart feel heavy.

Talking with Halim at school was one of the few things that made me feel comfortable. It made me feel seen… and understood.

If I agreed to this, Halim and I might end up becoming strangers again among the crowd.

The silence lingered for a while before Halim continued.

"It's not like we'll stop talking completely. You can still ask me things if you don't understand something. But maybe… you can ask Latifah instead."

"…Isn't there something else you'd want instead?"

"That's all I want. But if you don't want to, it's fine. I just think… you won't have many friends if you always stick around me at school, Khadijah."

Halim's words reminded me of what my father used to say... that I should have many friends and never depend on just one person.

If I didn't agree, then when would I ever get the chance to repay Halim's kindness? Opportunities like this don't come twice.

I looked down at the table... took a slow breath... nodded slightly... and say…

"Alright. We'll start keeping some distance at school."

"Okay. Thank you, Khadijah."

Halim smiled and thanked me. But for the first time, that smile didn't feel warm.

Even though I agreed, my heart still couldn't accept it completely. It felt like an invisible wall was slowly forming between us.

"…We can still talk now, though. Go ahead, ask me whatever you want."

Maybe Halim noticed I wasn't smiling like before.

I didn't answer right away. I just stayed quiet, lost in thought. There's something that's been bothering me lately.

I've lived here for five months, five months as Halim's neighbor. We see each other almost every day. We've shared stories, laughter, even small secrets. But there's still one mystery. I've never seen Halim's parents.

Do Halim's parent live in another city? Are they always busying with work? Or maybe…

"Halim."

"Yeah?"

"My family and I have lived here for five months, but I've never seen your parents."

Halim didn't answer right away.

Halim looked toward Abdullah, who was still writing. But I knew, that's not what he was really thinking about.

A few seconds later, I saw something I never expected.

Something I'd never seen before. Even Abdullah noticed it too.

Halim's eyes… are filled with tears.

[Brother Halim? You're… crying?]

"Halim…"

Halim quickly wiped his face with his hands. His movements were rushed, as if he was trying to hide it.

[There's dust in my eyes…]

[Dust?]

Halim's voice trembled a little. And those tears… there's no way to hide them.

"I'm sorry, Khadijah. I just remembered… not everything is something I can talk about."

"…What do you mean?"

"There are some things I'm not ready to share yet."

I went quiet. But from the way Halim spoke… from the way his voice shook, and the way his eyes looked away… I knew. There's something heavy inside Halim's heart. Something he's keeping all to himself.

"I'm really sorry, Khadijah."

"You don't have to apologize, Halim. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask again."

No one spoke after that.

The only sound in the room was Abdullah's pencil scratching against paper.

And that night… I didn't really hear anything else.

All I could think about was… Halim's tears, and the pain that I still don't understand.

Maybe someday, Halim will tell me everything.

But for now… all I can do is wonder and pray.

I just hope… that Halim's wounded heart will one day find a place to heal.

THE NEXT DAY – AT SCHOOL

The recess bell just rang, echoing through every corner of the school. The sound of footsteps filled the hallways, and the air was filled with the smell of lunchboxes and the buzz of light conversations between friends. But food wasn't really on my mind right now.

Today, there were a lot of things I wanted to talk about with Halim.

"Halim, I—"

"Arif, are you going to the lab after this?"

"Yeah. The principal wants to check out my new project."

"Sounds interesting. Mind if I come with you?"

"I'm coming too."

"Me as well."

"Same here."

"Hey, don't forget about me!"

"…You're coming too, Rizky?"

"Why do you ask? Am I not allowed to?"

I watched Halim as he talked and laughed with his closest friends.

I didn't really know why, but… it felt like Halim's trying to avoid me.

"…We can all go together. Just don't cause a mess, okay?"

"Someone's talking about himself right now."

"What did you say?!"

"Hey, relax, man. No boom boom today."

Karim, Ali, Arif, Rizky, and Dzaky walked out of the classroom together. Meanwhile, Halim was still tidying up his books at his desk.

Then, Halim's eyes turned toward me.

"Did you just say something to me, Khadijah?"

"…No. Never mind."

I suddenly remembered—Halim and I had to keep our distance from now on. We couldn't act the way we used to. We couldn't talk too much, we couldn't look too close. And I had to learn to live with that.

"Alright then. I'd better catch up with Karim and the others. We'll talk later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Assalamualaikum…"

"Waalaikumsalam."

Halim smiled, stood up from his chair, and walked toward the classroom door to join his friends.

I just sat there, watching Halim leave the class.

After a while, I opened my diary. I flipped through the pages filled with words that only I could read and understand. And among all those pages, I found one sentence I'd written a few weeks ago—

Sometimes, the person you most want to talk to… is the one you can't bother at all.

"Khadijah."

"Yeah?"

"Come here. We wanna talk to you."

Right now, Latifah is not sitting at her desk. She is standing near her friend's table, and it seems that Latifah and her friends want to chat with me.

Honestly, I don't have any plans at all. I don't want to go to the cafeteria, walk around the school yard, or even write anything in my diary.

So, I think… why not? After all, Halim's not the only one who's got close friends.

I closed my diary and put it in my bag. Then I stood up and walked towards Latifah and the others.

"Hi, Khadijah."

"Hi, everyone."

"Here, sit here."

"Thanks."

One of Latifah's close friends pulled up a chair for me so I could sit beside Latifah. I sat down and looked at each of Latifah's friends one by one.

Latifah's circle of friends… They are more than just ordinary friends. They are like flowers, each blooming with its own unique color and personality. It sounds weird, but that's exactly how it feels.

The girl who gave me the chair… Her name's Alya. She's cheerful and talks a lot. She can be a little rough when she's mad, but I know she's got a good heart. Alya's the type who laughs at her own jokes and somehow makes you laugh along, even when you don't feel like it.

Then there's Zahra, the one who loves to joke around and is always close to Alya. The two of them are pretty similar—same energy, same vibe. But Zahra's a bit calmer and more firm. There's something steady about her voice, like a martial arts instructor who'd smack you with a broom if you started messing around.

Next is Febriana, the tallest girl in class. She doesn't talk much and seems a little cold when you first try to greet her. Latifah once told me she's really good at volleyball. Maybe that's why she's got that tall build and strong arms.

And lastly, there's Hafizah, the one who greeted me earlier. She's quiet like Febriana, but a bit different. The way she talks and looks at me makes me feel like she's really understanding, like she actually gets people. I even remember one time she called me 'Dear' or 'Sweetie' in such a sweet tone. I'm not kidding, I always blush a little when she calls me that.

"…You guys aren't going to the cafeteria?"

"Nope. I'd rather stay here."

"Me too."

"Same."

"By the way, Halim's not with you today?"

"Halim and his friends are at the lab right now. So he can't—"

"Oh, that's perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Yeah. We can talk freely now. There's actually a lot we wanna talk about. Including…"

"…Including what?"

Alya leaned closer to me, smiling playfully. Her lips were just inches from my ear.

Then, in a whisper only I could hear, Alya said with a mischievous grin…

"We already know you're Halim's neighbor. So, we're kinda curious about what's going on between you two."

I froze.

My eyes slowly turned toward Alya. And I am completely shocked.

"…You all already know about that?!"

"Oh, come on. Don't look so shocked."

"Latifah told us everything, if you wanna know."

"What?! But why?!"

"Keep your voice down, Khadijah."

I immediately looked down, staring at the floor, and fell silent. I could feel my face heating up. I didn't know if it was from anger… or embarrassment. Maybe both.

Latifah's a good friend, she really is. But sometimes she can be too open. I didn't expect her to tell that secret to her friends.

"Khadijah, you're not mad, right?"

I couldn't say a word because the embarrassment was too much to even describe.

"You know what, Khadijah? We've seen you and Halim talking and studying together a lot lately. Sometimes it's just the two of you alone in class. Sometimes—"

"Wait, have you guys been watching us every day?"

"Not just us, Khadijah. Basically, the whole school's been watching you two."

"At first, we thought it was totally normal that you enjoyed talking with Halim. I mean, Halim's the only student here who's really good at foreign languages. So of course, you can talk to him easily."

"But still, a lot of the boys around here started to get jealous because you two are always together."

"True. There's even a rumor saying Halim's been threatened by some students."

"…Halim's been threatened?"

"Yeah."

Halim's been threatened? Is that the real reason?

I went completely silent for a few seconds. Those words just echoed in my head.

Could it be… that's why Halim wanted to keep his distance from me?

"Latifah."

"Yeah?"

"I just remembered… Yesterday, Halim asked me to start keeping some distance… at school."

"Do you think Halim's only keeping his distance from you, Khadijah? You know, he's also keeping his distance from me."

"Really? But I always see you two talking. You seem so close. Besides, Halim told me yesterday that you were his childhood friend."

"Everything you said is true. But you know, Halim's got his own reason for staying a bit distant from me too, even though we grew up together. Wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Halim's a really shy person. He doesn't like spending too much time with girls."

"Yeah, Halim looks so cute when he gets embarrassed."

"Haha, so true."

Hafizah and Latifah chuckled together. And I just blinked… a little confused.

So, Halim's… a shy person?

Not gonna lie, this was news to me. I'd never seen that side of him. Halim always seemed so calm and relaxed whenever I was around. I honestly had no idea.

But somehow, I wasn't sure that was the real reason he wanted to keep his distance.

"Latifah."

"What is it?"

"You said Halim's shy, right? But do you think that's the only reason that Halim wants to stay away from me?"

"…Halim might have another reason."

"Yeah. If it's not because he's too shy, maybe Halim just wants you to have more friends."

"Or maybe… Halim's just sick of all the students threatening him."

"There's also a chance that Halim doesn't want your reputation to get ruined, Khadijah."

"And if you ask me, maybe Halim just wants to spend more time with Karim and the others. Lately, he's always been with you at school, and he barely has any time for his close friends. Plus, Halim's not just shy, he really cares about the people around him. He's always thinking about folks like Karim and Latifah. Right, Latifah?"

"Exactly."

"No matter what, Halim definitely has his reasons. He's not the type of person who'd just pull away for no reason."

That's true. It's impossible for Halim to do something like this without a reason. He's the kind of person who always thinks things through and always careful with every decision he makes.

Now, I'm getting more and more curious. Is it really true that Halim's keeping his distance just because he's shy? Or is he afraid? Or maybe… is it because of me?

Thinking about that reminded me of that question... the one that almost made Halim cry. About his parents.

Even now, I'm still curious. I don't just want to know why Halim's been avoiding me… I really want to know what happened to his parents too.

Latifah might know something about them. After all, she's been Halim's childhood friend. She has to know something. I'll ask her.

"Latifah."

"What is it, Khadijah?"

"My family and I have been living here for five months now… but I've never once seen Halim's parents."

Latifah, Alya, Febriana, Zahra, and Hafizah all looked at me. And suddenly, everything went quiet.

Their smiles faded the moment I asked about Halim's parents, like my question had struck something fragile.

Why did the air suddenly feel so heavy? And why were they looking at me like that?

I looked at them one by one, completely confused.

"Girls?"

"So… you didn't know that Halim's been living alone all this time?"

"Living alone…? What do you mean? What really happened to Halim…?"

"We can tell you everything. But once you know, you can never bring it up in front of Halim. Ever."

"Halim can't know that you already know about this."

"And if you do bring it up, Halim might stop talking to you. Latifah's been through that before… right, Latifah?"

"…Yeah."

My heart sank.

So that's what happened…

Is that why Halim ignored me a few minutes ago, when he chose to chat with his friends? Is it because of my question yesterday?

I lowered my head, trying to steady my breathing.

I promised to myself that I wouldn't talk about this in front of him. Never.

"…Halim won't know. Please, tell me everything."

Latifah went silent for a few seconds.

Then Latifah took a deep breath… and started to speak.

"Halim's not like us. He doesn't have a big family. No grandparents, no uncles, no aunts, no cousins… nothing."

So… all this time, Halim only had his father and mother?

"Halim didn't have anyone else to visit. No other home besides his own."

Latifah's voice started trembling.

I stayed quiet, just listening.

"But even though it was just his mom and dad… even though it was such a small family, Halim was happy. He never felt lonely. Until… when he turned ten, he lost the only people he had."

Tears began streaming down Latifah's cheeks.

Latifah lowered her head and covered her face with her hands.

I just stared at her in silence. It felt like the whole world had stopped.

Latifah couldn't keep going, so Zahra and the others continued for her.

"Halim's parents were in an accident. Their car was hit by a train."

"What…?"

"The police found a wrecked car near the railway tracks. It belonged to Halim's parents. But inside the car… there were no bodies."

"No bodies? So that means…"

"Halim's parents disappeared without a trace. His mom and his dad were never found. Since then, they've been declared missing."

My body started trembling.

I couldn't speak.

It feels like my heart is breaking apart.

In my mind, I pictured little Halim standing at his front door… waiting for parents who would never come home.

"After that, Halim stopped talking to anyone for weeks. He just wanted to be alone, staring blankly all day."

"Halim even refused to go to school because his parents weren't there anymore."

I know what it feels like to lose a father. But I can't even imagine and I don't want to imagine… what it's like to lose everyone you have in this world.

"Then… who took care of Halim after that? He couldn't have lived alone, right?"

"Halim's parents had two close friends, Mr. Satrio and Mrs. Fatimah. After the accident, they took care of Halim and raised him like he was their own kid."

"But a few months ago, we heard that Mr. Satrio and Mrs. Fatimah had to move to another city for work. Halim couldn't go with them because of school. They had no choice, but to leave Halim here."

"And ever since then… Halim's been living by himself. Mr. Satrio and Mrs. Fatimah never came back. Maybe… they never will."

Tears rolled down my cheeks, dripping onto my hands.

I couldn't say anything.

How does it feel to come home to an empty house every day?

No voices to greet you.

No warm smiles waiting.

No arms to hold you tight.

No one at all.

"I can't…"

Latifah started sobbing uncontrollably.

"I don't even know what I'd do if I ever went through something like that…"

"Sweetie…"

Latifah couldn't hold her tears anymore. Her shoulders were trembling, and tears streamed down her cheeks.

Seeing that, Hafizah walked over and wrapped her arms around Latifah, pulling her into a warm hug. She gently stroked Latifah's head, trying to calm her down.

My eyes were on them, but my mind wasn't. My thoughts drifted back to Halim.

For the first time… I truly felt how deep Halim's hidden wounds really were.

Now I understand. Behind Halim's calm smile and his blank gaze, there's a world that's already fallen apart. And Halim… He's still standing on the ruins.

No sound.

No complaint.

Of course… all alone. And—

*BOOM!!!!*

"Allahu Akbar!!!"

"Astaghfirullahaladzim!!!"

"—AAAH!!!"

A loud explosion shook the air from outside the classroom, rattling the school walls. The floor trembled beneath our feet, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

"HELP! SOMEONE JUST FAINTED!"

Screams came from every direction. Some students were shouting in panic, chairs were shaking, footsteps thundered down the hallway, and I could even hear crying from the classroom next door.

Meanwhile, Latifah was still in Hafizah's arms, trembling and terrified—

"RIZKY...!!!"

"I'M SORRY!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO—!!!"

*The door opens loudly*

I recognized that voice.

We all jumped from our seats, ran to the door, and peeked outside. Then we saw…

"IF I CATCH YOU, I SWEAR I'LL—!!!"

"HELP ME...!!!"

"GET HIS HEAD, BOYS!!!"

Rizky is sprinting down the hallway, looking super scared. He's out of breath, his arms are flailing, and he's screaming like his life depends on it.