Ahsoka shuddered and immediately pulled away, as if she had been caught doing something shameful. The numbness left her and bounced off her like a ball. Only shame and embarrassment remained. She even stood up and moved away from Anakin, instantly returning to reality. With unprecedented clarity, Ahsoka suddenly realised what she had done and what her teacher would say when she called him back to explain the situation. Tano had no doubt that she would have to do so. The events of the day, or rather the part of it in which she had caused trouble, came crashing down on her with renewed force, causing her soul to shrink with an vague tremor.
"I ran away from the tests. I stole a ship. I caused a massacre in the village head's house. But most importantly, I failed to save my father. I didn't make it in time. I flew in to see him and ended up at his funeral," she thought. There were no more tears; they had all been shed at the funeral, pouring into her father's grave. But, strangely enough, she felt no fear or even anxiety about what would happen to her when she was brought before the Council. There was only a feeling of emptiness and complete indifference to what would happen to her next. Now it was meaningless. After all, there was no one left to dedicate her victories and successes to. No one to wait for. No one would come out of the little house to greet her. No one would smile at her. No one would hug her. He was gone. Her father was gone. The only person who was truly dear to her and close to her heart was gone. If that was the case, then nothing made sense anymore. Everything had become empty and meaningless to her. The girl sank down onto the sand and covered her face with her hands. She didn't want to talk or see anyone. She just wanted to sit there and wait for the Force to show mercy and take her to another world where there were no shining stars, fast ships, or a temple with four spires. But there was her dad, and he wouldn't leave her there. Never, ever. Wasn't that worth everything she had here, in this cold and indifferent galaxy, where there were people like this elder, who didn't care about other people's grief and were untouched by the tears of orphans?
"Ahsoka Tano, return to Coruscant immediately!" came the voice from the communicator again. The girl shuddered and stood up. She had to go, or else she wouldn't get out of it. She was sure to get a dressing-down, but as she already knew, Asoka didn't care. She couldn't know what her teacher and those around him were thinking about all this.
***
The test was in full swing. The students stood in an orderly line at the gates of the Temple and entered one by one at the command of Master Yoda. Asoka was one of the last, so her absence was not noticed immediately, only when Ferrus entered the gates and the Master announced:
"Ahsoka Tano. Prepare for the test!
Receiving no response, he became slightly agitated. Usually, Ahsoka was not overly modest and never missed an opportunity to assert herself, so the Grand Master was sure that the cheeky Togruta would now jump out at him, almost knocking him off his feet, and even stepped aside just in case, but to no avail. Ahsoka did not even respond. After waiting another second, Yoda approached the column of students and shuddered: Tano was missing. Her loyal page, Skywalker, was nowhere to be seen either. Quickly realising that something was wrong, the Master sent the next apprentice forward and approached his colleagues, wondering if they had called Asoka out of line for some reason. For example, Master Plo, to say a few words of encouragement. Although, that was nonsense; everything could be said during the flight, there was no need to repeat it many times. However, when he approached, he noticed that Plo was saying something to his companions, and they were listening attentively. Listening closely, he could make out:
"My student is in great pain right now," said Plo, looking at the silent Masters. "I can feel it.
"Why didn't you stop her when you saw her running away?" asked Master Windu, anticipating the punishment of the offender.
"It's not that simple. Visions of the Force are never unfounded, and besides, she is almost as skilled at piloting the ship as any of us," explained Asoka's teacher, beginning to doubt whether he had done the right thing in letting her fly away.
"But where is she now?" Windu couldn't calm down.
"On Tatooine," said Plo calmly, folding his hands in front of him.
"The difficult one took her there," Mace muttered, staring at the ground.
Master Plo did not answer him, but looked sadly into the distance and suddenly wondered what the unexpected incident might mean for the Togruta, but he thought it premature to share his thoughts with his colleagues. Wind would certainly object if he even hinted at it, so the Master decided to postpone the matter until their arrival on Coruscant. Plow thought that perhaps Ahsoka would return there herself before the others arrived, but no, she had not been seen in the Temple since morning, and Ferrus, of course, had immediately spread rumours about her running away from the trials.
"Ferrus, I hope you never have to go through this," said Plo seriously, looking at the teenager disapprovingly. He had been against sending him on the trials from the start, but Master Siri Tachi had assured him that he was ready, and Plo had given in, not surprised, incidentally, that Olin had failed. But now was not the time to think about that, because the trials could be taken again, but surviving the loss of a loved one, alas, was not so easy, even for a Jedi.
"Why didn't she share this with me?" the Kel Dor thought aloud, dialling a familiar contact on his communicator and typing a message. "I saw everything, I felt everything. Did she really think I wouldn't understand her?"
Alas, the kind teacher did not know that Asoka had long since confided such deep feelings of her heart not to him, nor even to Anakin, but to the one who was now sitting in the Senate building, thinking of nothing, preparing to fly off to another round of negotiations. He clearly did not know what was happening to Asoka, and if he did, he was in no hurry to do anything, as if wanting to see for himself how she would cope with this blow of fate. Asoka was struggling to cope, knowing in advance that the pain of loss would remain with her forever and that she would always long for her father, but at that moment, only Anakin was by her side. He had also heard the message and understood that he had to fly, otherwise there would be trouble. But before leaving, the girl suddenly had an idea and, entering her father's new and, sadly, last home, easily found his favourite badge on the bedside table next to his bed. She wanted to take it with her as a memento and put it in her pocket. But at the last moment, thinking that it might get lost, the girl went into the kitchen, took a small tool for lighting the stove, and held the badge, which depicted a symbol resembling a horseshoe, to it. And when the metal glowed red, Asoka bit her lower lip and pressed the badge firmly against her left shoulder. A sharp pain shot through her body, tears streamed from her eyes, but Tano continued to hold the badge until the metal was almost cold. Only when a red, horseshoe-shaped mark remained on her shoulder, promising to become a very noticeable scar even on her caramel-coloured skin, did she put the badge in her belt pocket and, leaving the house, look back at the village one last time. Ahsoka's ship remained in the central square of Mos Eisley, and 3PO and Owel, Ahsoka's stepsister, who was also sensitive to the Force, flew to Coruscant with her two students. After all, the girl had no family, and staying on Tatooine without the support of loved ones was very risky, so Ahsoka decided to take a chance and try to show her to the Council. However, no one spoke during the flight, each lost in their own thoughts. Ahsoka thought about her father, about how she would live now without any hope of seeing him again and knowing that she was now completely alone against the whole world. Of course, she would have her teacher, Anakin, the Chancellor, and this girl, whose fate Ahsoka was now responsible for, but that wasn't enough. None of them could replace her father. They could only talk to her about her pain, and even that was not enough. Her thoughts turned to the Chancellor and lingered on the fact that he was the one she wanted to confide in at that moment, but she would have to tell her teacher too, except for one thing she would have to keep quiet about — what Ahsoka had done at the headmaster's house. No one must know about that. And not because it was a serious violation of the Code, even more serious than her escape, but because she herself did not believe that it was her doing. No. She couldn't have done that — killed three unarmed people who not only didn't attack her, but didn't even resist. But it had happened, and she was to blame, and now she would have to live with that burden and the fear of losing her loved ones, which would now grow to the size of an entire galaxy. Anakin thought more about what had happened at the grave, or rather, what would have happened if it hadn't been for the phone call. The thought of it worried and disturbed him, pushing him to experience that intoxicating feeling of closeness again, not physical closeness as such, which all teenagers crave so passionately and where it doesn't really matter what kind of girl is next to you. Even if she was ugly or stupid, the fact that she was a girl and that she was nearby would overshadow all her flaws. No, this was a completely different kind of closeness, not physical, but spiritual, when your thoughts are in sync, when you hear her heart beating next to yours, when her pain feels like your own and you are ready to do anything to relieve her suffering. This feeling was new and therefore even more intense in its desire to take root in his soul and remain there. Owel, however, could think only of how she would get into the Order and what awaited her there. She had heard a lot about it and imagined what it would be like to be there, and she could not see any other way for herself. But in any case, all three were very surprised when, approaching the Council Hall, expecting a reprimand, they actually received...
***
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