You walk alongside Ganyu toward the restaurant, a three-story building with large red lanterns and golden dragon carvings on its door.
While walking, you glance left and right like a vigilant deer. You notice that you and Ganyu, walking together, are quite conspicuous. Not just because of her ethereal beauty, but because of the contrast between her grandeur and your... ordinariness.
Some people whisper behind their hand fans. Their stares sharp, piercing, full of judgment. You can't hear what they're saying. So you try not to care about those stares, straightening your back that feels stiff.
While walking, you, who look nervous, occasionally glance at Ganyu from the corner of your eye. She steps lightly, almost silently, but her shoulders are held stiff.
Your mind churns.
Though I accepted her invitation, but this is okay, right? If I'm nervous that's normal, right? And if the atmosphere is awkward that's normal, right?
You sigh softly, reorganizing your thoughts. Awkward is normal. Awkward is normal...
No! Awkward in this situation is dangerous! your inner self screams.
No sound, the air feels frozen. That pause feels so long it presses on your chest.
Though you sink in thoughts, searching for an intelligent conversation topic, you find no solution. Your tongue numb. So during the journey you just stay awkwardly silent. Repeatedly sighing, calming yourself, trying to regulate your heartbeats so they're not heard by her sharp Qilin ears.
You glance sideways again and find that Ganyu bows her head, her eyes staring at the stone pattern on the street, without saying a word, seeming a bit disturbed.
Is she regretting? Is she embarrassed walking with me?
Or perhaps that's just my insecure feeling?
You want to say a word, break the thickening ice between you, but swallow that desire again. For you, keeping contact as needed without forcing conversation is the right thing now.
Better silent than misspeaking!
Next, you and Ganyu arrive in front of the restaurant. The restaurant stands majestic, radiating an intimidating exclusivity aura.
Seeing its exterior makes you fully aware that this is an upscale restaurant. And you, as a mere merchant assistant with a meager pocket, feel out of place. You're like a sparrow lost in a peacock cage.
Then you stare at the luxurious-looking restaurant in silence and swallow. Your throat feels dry.
Euh, is it okay for us to eat at a place like this? But I have no options.
Why do I suddenly feel scared, scared the price offered by this restaurant is quite expensive for my wallet. What if I can't pay my share? That would be the end of everything.
Besides, I haven't been here before... I'm really without a plan. Who thought my invitation would be accepted a day after rejection?
Perhaps next time I should do research first so my plan is mature before taking the next action, you think, noting your strategic mistake.
You nod to yourself, convincing yourself that whatever happens let it happen. You're already here. Retreating now is cowardly.
Entering the restaurant, you're shocked by its interior. Gleaming marble floors, intricate ulin wood pillars, and the aroma of expensive tea filling the air. Many rich people in Liyue are eating there, wearing their best silk.
You swallow again. A commoner like me looks out of place. You can't help muttering inwardly.
Then you walk to the seat shown by the waiter, pull the heavy wooden chair, and gesture for Ganyu to sit first with a stiff but sincere gesture.
Ladies first, right?
After that, you sit opposite her. The round table separates you, but also unites you in a small privacy circle.
The waiter comes and offers the leather-covered menu. You open it, read the menu, and your brows can't help rising slightly seeing the row of numbers beside the food names. Expensive.
"Have you known what you want to order?" you say to Ganyu, trying to calm, hiding your financial panic.
Ganyu nods. She orders some vegetarian dishes smoothly, as if memorized by heart.
Then with a pained heart—imagining your Mora coins flying away—you order food with the most reasonable price but still looks decent.
While waiting for the order, the silence process happens again. You both bow your heads and silent. You occasionally direct your gaze at Ganyu who plays her fingers nervously on the white tablecloth.
After that, you find that she is also directing her eyes at you, staring at you. Your eyes meet in silence. Feeling uncomfortable, you turn away, pretending to look at the wall decoration.
At this moment, your keen senses catch something. You find that people at other tables are actually staring at you and Ganyu.
You feel various emotions in those stares, like arrows shot from various directions. Some of them are shocked, envious, angry, wondering, and annoyed.
Shocked and wondering directed at Ganyu. Why is the Secretary eating with an ordinary person? While envious, angry, and annoyed directed at you. Who is he daring to sit there?
That's roughly what you interpret in your mind.
"Sorry."
Ganyu whispers. Her tone soft and low, slipping between your thoughts.
You glance at her and stare into her eyes.
Sorry? For what? You tilt your head, confused.
"You must be disturbed by their stares," she continues, her eyes glancing briefly around the room.
So that's why...
"Wait a moment. Why do you have to apologize? It should be me apologizing." Your shoulders drop, and your hand rises slowly, apologizing.
"I understand you feel guilty because of those stares, but honestly it's not your fault, you know."
You lean your body slightly forward, lowering your voice. "Those stares happened because I walked with you. Because I seem out of place. Because I... am not worthy enough to be here."
"So sorry."
Ganyu shakes her head strongly. Her hair sways. "You're wrong, it's my fault." She bows her head, staring at her tea cup. "I'm half Adeptus. I shouldn't walk with humans like this. It's bad for them if they see me with humans... they think I'm violating boundaries."
You stare at her in silence. Damn, this won't end. I have to think of a way so she doesn't think about those stares...
"I think you're wrong in understanding the meaning behind those stares," you say. "For me, their stares are like envy toward me because I can walk with you, a respected Qixing secretary. I'm a foreigner, while you're a famous figure in Liyue. I think it's normal if they show envious stares at me."
You smile thinly. "We have different meanings for those stares, perhaps the meaning of those stares is neither. I, nor you, will never be able to understand other people's thoughts."
You sigh long, then decide to open yourself a bit. Show your vulnerability.
"I'm a small merchant."
At this moment when you say this, Ganyu blinks once, staring at you long with slightly raised brows, surprised. She seems to know you work with Uncle Zhang, perhaps that information she got as secretary, but hearing you define yourself like that surprises her.
Realizing her stare you continue, "Recently I took a job to survive. At first I was reluctant, I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of other people's stares, I was afraid to talk to others. Humans are too scary, and I can't read their minds, I don't know what they think about me, I'm trapped in my own thoughts."
You stare at your tea cup, seeing your own reflection there.
"However, gradually I still took this job even knowing all that. Everything in this world needs money, right? So I was forced to take it."
"During being a merchant I realized that everything I feared turns out not so scary. On the contrary, I quite enjoy it even if a bit tortured. Other people's stares, responding to others, now become usual for me. Though honestly, I'm still a bit not used to it, but clearly there's a change in seeing what I think is scary."
Ganyu widens her eyes briefly, shocked hearing that. Her gaze held, seeing the determination in your eyes that she didn't notice before. The next second, she blinks slowly and asks, "What kind of merchant do you want to be?"
You pause briefly, recalling small moments at Uncle Zhang's stall. And answer while smiling. "I want to be a merchant who sells goods that can make others happy. Lately I realized it, every item I sell, even if just a wooden comb or cheap toy, the people who buy it must show a smile as if it's an item they really want very much."
At this moment you are shocked by your own words. But then smile wider. In your head suddenly appears a vague memory from your previous world. You recall your past. It's an image of a small child staring at a computer screen, on the computer there's a video of someone reviewing HIGH END COMPUTER. That small child is amazed seeing it, dreaming of having it.
"Perhaps, they've long awaited it since childhood, but because they don't have money, they can only hope it can be bought later. Now, they're adults, have jobs, from jobs they get money that's collected until they can buy that item.
"I want to see that sight again, when their smiles bloom when buying the item they wanted as a child."
Ganyu listens with full joy, a soft smile blooming on her face and her eyes shining softly. Then she chuckles softly. "That's very beautiful."
The atmosphere becomes warmer. The food hasn't arrived, but your souls are starting to be full from conversation.
"What about you?" you pause briefly, hesitant if this question is too personal. "Why did you become the Liyue Qixing secretary?"
She widens her eyes. Her lips pressed tight, as if holding something.
You stare at her who looks hesitant. "Sorry." you pause briefly, raising your hand. "Forget what I just said. You know, you don't have to tell if you don't want to."
She shakes her head slowly. "It's okay." Ganyu also stares at you in silence, her purple eyes deep like night ocean. "I'm just confused where to start."
Ganyu closes her eyes briefly, collecting pieces of thousands-year memory, then she sighs quite long.
"At first, this job was merely a contract I made with the figure I trust most, Rex Lapis. I respect him more than anyone. I enjoy this job because I feel useful."
Her voice lowers, becoming more intimate.
"However, I never got used to it. Being a secretary requires me to meet humans. That's fun, meeting many people gives me many amazing experiences, but on the other hand it feels so far for me, as if I will never reach it."
She stares at her own hands. "The more I try to chase it the farther the distance between us. Perhaps because I am a half Adeptus and they are humans. This makes us never able to understand each other fully.
"The more often facing so many people, makes me realize that they have different views on one thing and another. Talking to them shows how diverse they are in seeing life. Slowly I realize that everything I do feels not so real."
Ganyu stares at you with honest sadness. "I feel that everything I've done isn't enough, as if I'm just living in falsehood. Perhaps what I do is just formality, just work, without good and bad intentions really conveyed.
"I don't know if what I've done all this time is good enough for humans. I want to know them. I want to understand them."
At this moment Ganyu's tone slides slowly, trembling thin, hoarse at the end, like an old melody slashed by violin bow.
"But how... they are humans, while I'm different... I am... half Adeptus. Our time is different. Our views are different."
You listen to that in silence. You see the fragility behind that immortal figure. You nod, understanding her fear because it's similar to your own fear as a foreigner in this world.
"In my opinion," you say. "You don't need to think if your attitude is good enough to them or not. You've done what you think is best for yourself, and they are no exception."
You stare at her sharply, trying to channel your conviction to her.
"The rest depends on how they respond. If your intention is good, then surely they will realize it and respond accordingly. Not all people will understand, but the important ones will understand."
"At least for me, you've done your best. You helped the fallen child yesterday. You work overtime for papers. You... had dinner with me even though you're tired. That's more than enough."
Ganyu's eyes teary a bit. She smiles, a fragile smile but full of gratitude.
At this moment the food has arrived. The hot steam aroma cuts that emotional moment, bringing you back to the physical world. You stare at Ganyu, and it seems she has no intention to continue that heavy conversation. She needs a break.
"How about we eat first," you offer in a cheerful tone.
Ganyu nods. "Yes. Let's eat."
Then you and Ganyu eat in comfortable silence. The sound of chopsticks clashing with ceramic bowls becomes your background music.
After finished, the empty plates are lifted. You smile at her, wanting to close this night with something sweet.
"By the way, what's your favorite food?"
Ganyu turns her face away, embarrassed. Her cheeks blush red again. And says in a soft voice, almost whispering.
"Prosperous Peace."
"Prosperous Peace?" you repeat. "A beautiful name. Suits you."
After that, you eat the dessert, warm red bean sweets. Then you leave the restaurant.
You escort her home. Of course, she only escorts you to the middle of the journey, at the intersection where the road to Yujing Terrace and your lodging separate.
"Thank you for tonight," says Ganyu. "I... feel a bit lighter."
"You're welcome," you reply.
You separate. While walking home alone, you feel your pocket. Realizing the money you spent is quite a lot, almost all your wages today and yesterday, you cry inwardly. Your wallet screams in pain.
Arriving at the lodging, you don't sleep immediately. You sink into the pillow and jump on the bed with childish movement. Swinging your legs, up-down, then turn, staring at the same ceiling that you stared at with despair this afternoon.
And a smile slowly carved clearly on your face. That's a victory smile. A smile of hope.
That day you can't sleep.
…
Today you go through life as usual, but with a slightly different rhythm. You wake up a bit late, the remnants of last night's sweet dream holding you in subconscious longer than usual.
"Sorry, Uncle Zhang. I'm late," you say panting, tidying your crooked shirt collar.
Old Uncle Zhang, who is arranging sandalwood wooden combs, isn't angry. He just stares at you with his wise eyes, seeing a strange sparkle in your eyes. "It's okay, Kid. But remember, time is money in this harbor. Late means letting fortune be pecked by birds."
You apologize again, bowing politely. But the smile on your face can't be hidden.
You continue working, memorizing item prices while serving buyers.
"This windmill toy three hundred Mora, Madam! Its color as bright as the future!" you exclaim cheerfully.
Why today I'm enthusiastic to memorize the prices in this list... am I carried by last night's dinner effect?
At this moment, your brain works faster, your tongue more fluent. Every transaction feels like a fun game, not a burden.
After finishing work, the sun starts leaning west. You help take the cart to Uncle Zhang's house with light steps, as if the cart is made of cotton. After your task done, you don't go home. Your feet, moved by the newly grown longing, take you climbing the stone stairs toward the power center.
You go to Yuehai Pavilion. That day is already afternoon, the time when shadows lengthen and sky color turns to old gold.
From afar, behind the large red pillar, you see her.
Ganyu stands in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by several subordinate employees. Her face serious, her brows furrowed as she checks document scrolls, seeming busy. She gives instructions, points toward the harbor, then notes something. It seems she has no chance to look around, or even realize your presence peeking like a thief.
Isn't this like seeking opportunity in narrowness? I'm like cheating... perhaps better I just go, you think, feeling a bit guilty disturbing her concentration.
And besides... a cold sensation creeps on your nape.
You realize the stares of Qixing employees around there. Especially the women. They stare at you not with curiosity, but with cold hostility. Their stares really piercing, as if wanting to skin you alive.
Then you pretend to walk around, admiring the architecture, without demanding attention.
"This is indeed beautiful... how can people make this?" you mutter, touching the dragon carving on the stone fence, trying to look like an innocent tourist.
At this moment you turn, stare at Ganyu again, hoping there's a change in her work rhythm. Hoping she will lift her head, see you, and smile like last night.
But, what you find is only piercing stares from those bureaucracy gate guards.
Geh... I'm really attracting these people's attention.
Though you've shown an attitude clearly not disturbing or suspicious, but their stares clearly hostile. Like guard dogs seeing a wolf approaching their favorite sheep.
Can't you not stare at me with vigilant stares? I'm not a bad person, you know? Perhaps my intention isn't pure... hehe.
A guess appears in your mind. Is it possible, the news about Ganyu with me having dinner heard by them thus causing excessive suspicion like that?
You think about this and nod slowly. Indeed makes sense. Gossip in Liyue spreads faster than typhoon wind. A holy secretary having dinner with a street merchant?
That's scandal!
At this moment, one of the bespectacled female employees, with hair tightly bun that reflects the tightness of rules in that place, comes approaching you. Her steps firm, her shoe heels clashing hard with the stone floor. Tak. Tak. Tak.
"What business do you have here, Sir?" she asks. Her voice polite, but her eyes cold. Her stare clearly not friendly.
You scratch the back of your head, putting on a dumb face. "Nothing. Just... enjoying the view, I guess?"
"Then please leave. We don't accept guests without official business. This is a work area, not a playground."
You nod obediently. Better I obey her words, I'm here not wanting to make chaos.
You then turn, leaving Yuehai Pavilion behind you. You didn't get Ganyu's smile this afternoon, but you got confirmation that your presence starts to be reckoned.
Heh, even as a threat.
Your steps take you down back to the harbor. Disappointed? A bit. But last night's euphoria is still too strong to be extinguished by one expulsion.
You buy two cold drinks from a street vendor. Large glass bottles dewy in your hand, promising freshness. While walking, you sip one drink, its taste sweet and sour, refreshing your throat dry from street dust.
Your eyes catch the figure you know near the harbor warehouse. Henri. He's sitting on a wooden crate, wiping sweat on his neck with a ragged hanging towel. He looks like just finished his work shift.
You approach.
Henri realizes your presence. He looks up, his tired eyes narrowing seeing the smile plastered on your face.
"You seem very happy," he comments, the corner of his lips lifting slightly.
You close your eyes briefly, enjoying your victory moment, then smile arrogantly. "Really?"
You hand one drink you bought to him.
"At least your face shows that," he accepts the offer, opens the cap with his teeth, and immediately drinks it greedily. His Adam's apple goes up and down.
After gulping half the bottle and sighing satisfied, he suddenly remembers something. He stares at you again, this time with widened eyes. Then he immediately asks, his voice full of disbelief.
"Don't tell me. You succeeded?"
You nod arrogantly, your chin lifted. "She invited me to dinner."
Henri chokes on his own drink. "UHUK!"
He coughs, pats his chest, then stares at you with bulging eyes. "???"
He gapes for a long time, his mouth open like a koi fish. Then as if reality hits him, he asks once more, louder.
"You serious?!"
"I really didn't expect it!" he continues.
You still arrogantly just shrug, as if dinner with Adeptus is usual for you. After that, you finish your drink in one last gulp, crush the empty bottle, and turn to leave while waving your hand without looking back.
"Wait!" Henri calls.
He turns and stares at your back moving away with light steps. "Don't tell me you came here just to show off?"
"That's it," you say, slowly moving away, your voice carried by the sea wind.
"So arrogant," Henri grumbles, but he shakes his head while smiling. "Heh, but I'm happy for your success, Buddy. You're indeed crazy."
Henri drinks the rest again, staring at the darkening sea. He feels happy his weird friend succeeded in doing something considered impossible by the harbor laborers.
At this moment, behind the shadow of an old rarely used warehouse building, three muscular men peek from the darkness. They wear ragged harbor laborer clothes, but their muscles tense ready to pounce. Their faces rough, full of scars and grudge.
Their stares directed at you who are walking away with a small whistle on your lips.
…
A/N: It's been a week apparently, sorry I just updated today. Lately I'm not too busy but I'm still too lazy to write xD in the future I intend to update 3 chapters per week on Patreon, and 1 chapter per week on Webnovel. You can read it on my patreon whose link is below:
https://www.pâtreon.com/Junxt
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