His voice dropped slightly, trying to hide his insecurity but unable to escape my notice; I caught the emotions flickering across his eyes."I've always been alone, so being looked down on is nothing new." Seeing my face still not as cheerful as before, the youth smiled even more warmly; his two small fangs showed, and his almond-shaped eyes narrowed into a line. "If those servants are sold off, that certainly won't end well. Judy should be a little more merciful and spare them. At worst, you can let me handle everything for you later, okay?"
I couldn't help but melt at his spoiled expression, silently thinking Nick truly understood and was kind-hearted. I must take good care of him in the future, I couldn't let others take advantage of him. "Then wait until I return and tell mother. After that, for three meals eat with me; clothing and everything will be managed by you here, you'll help your brother with it."
"Yes! Thank you, Judy!"
The boy's bright, sweet smile softened me.
The three of us, master and two attendants walked along the narrow path toward Skywind Pavilion, passing the rest pavilion where Octavia and Gideon had met misfortune. I casually glanced that way twice before pulling my gaze back. The youth at my side paced around, telling amusing stories as we walked, making me laugh. Slanted sunlight hit a corner of the pavilion; a few silver threads glittered, and a few flowers lay there that clearly didn't belong.
When we returned, the ball was nearly over; some of the noble sons and daughters who liked one another were leaving together, while a few stayed to talk with the Crown Prince. I arrived in time to see Jason and Finnick walking out of the main hall together.
"Eldest brother." Perhaps in a good mood, this time I didn't pay Finnick much mind—my salute to him was merely a greeting. Finnick's expression had improved slightly, but it was clear he bore no fondness for me. His gaze passed to the youth behind me and he unconsciously frowned. He always felt familiarity with this youth but couldn't place where he knew him from.
Looking up at the sky, he could no longer obsess over matters unrelated to him. Just a moment ago his sister had been in trouble; by the Crown Prince's permission she hurriedly left the palace. Though it didn't directly involve him, given his father's temperament, he would surely be reproached. With that thought, his worry deepened; he bade Jason farewell and hurried off.
I withdrew my gaze and asked, "Where are you going?"
Jason frowned: "Of course I'm going to find you. We've been away from the party so long I thought you might have lost your way."
I laughed: "With Nick here, how could I possibly get lost?"
I'd never been good at orienting myself often going the wrong way; once at twelve I got lost for the same reason. So whenever I wandered off, Jason would complain. Nick was different, his sense of direction was so good that even if blindfolded and spun around he could still find his bearings, as if he had two extra eyes atop his head. That's why Jason had earlier asked Nick to take me out for a walk. With Nick around everyone felt reassured. After a year living with him, the Marquis's household had grown used to this youth tailing me like a shadow, and to the fact that this immature-looking boy was reliable enough to keep me safe.
Suddenly my expression changed drastically and I shouted, "Nick, you can't!"
I whipped around and pinned the youth's arm. I put my whole weight on his arm, panic in my eyes. Under the wide sleeve two hands were entwined and there was a Poignard dagger. The instant I turned, he had angled the blade away, avoiding injuring me.
Jason didn't yet know what had happened, but I was sweating cold. I had recognized the murderous intent in Nick, though I didn't know why.
"Nick!" I raised my voice, warning blazing in my eyes. This is the palace! I cannot let him act recklessly!
I had seen Nick kill someone once, and had witnessed his cold, indifferent manner then like a teacher facing a corpse. He was completely different from the sunlit youth who always followed me.
That year, returning to the convent after watching the lantern festival, we encountered bandits. They initially intended to rob money, but when they saw my face they tried to take advantage of me instead. That was the first time Nick had gone berserk his state utterly abnormal. That night his eyes were bloodshot and he frightened me so badly my soul felt as if it had flown away.
Darkness thickened, the mountain path was rugged; the faint moonlight fell and a large pool of blood on the ground seared my eyes until they ached, my heart pounding as if it would leap from my chest, my head spinning.
How could it be like that...
Nick stepped over bodies scattered on the ground; his dark red eyes pierced through the gore to find me sitting dazed on the earth, my eyes vacant, my whole being in panic. The beast inside him roared: Who dares soil Judy!! All of them deserve death!!
His hand holding the Poignard trembled; his feet pressed through rivers of blood as he walked toward me. The closer he came, the more his reason returned; the bloody haze before his eyes gradually cleared. He was afraid, unsettled; then he halted a zhang away from me dared not approach, dared not speak, dared not move, not even to breathe heavily.
A moment earlier he had been like a mad wolf, out of control; now he was my familiar, obedient corgi, bowed head, pitiably innocent.
I had no strength left; my legs were weak, I could not stand. Seeing that he dared not come near, I could only tremble as I called out: "Nick, I'm scared..."
Nick's eyes lit up at once. He stepped forward a few paces, knelt on one knee before me, the tip of his dagger still stained with blood stuck into the mud. He wiped the blood from his hands onto his clothes, then wrapped his trembling body around me. Only then did he notice I was chilled to the bone. Self-reproach almost overwhelmed him; he whispered apologies: "Judy, Judy..."
I buried my head against his chest. Though his frame was thin, his familiar breath slowly soothed my fear. "Why did you make me so frightened..." I grabbed the lapel of his garment, breathing heavily with accusation.
"I was wrong, I'm truly sorry..."
His night-dark eyes still carried a terrible intensity, his face cold and ruthless; yet his voice was strangely gentle: "Anyone who intends to hurt Judy deserves to die. If one person comes, I will kill one person."
Old memories were as vivid as if they stood before me.
Now, in front of Skywind Pavilion with people coming and going, I didn't know who had provoked him but I didn't care about Jason's astonished stare. I immediately pulled him toward a less crowded spot.
The youth could never refuse me; his cruel gaze swept in one direction and then withdrew. He let me, this woman whose hands were clumsy at tying poultry, shorter than him by a head, drag him along.
…
Outside the main hall, Crown Prince Frantic smiled at the two retreating figures and said, "Cousin, it seems the one in your heart already belongs to someone else." Idris frowned and, instinctively defensive, replied, "That's not the one in her heart." The one in her heart should be him, he and she were meant to be a pair. He had erred before, but now he could make amends; he must discipline himself and not repeat past mistakes. After all, he's only a lowly bodyguard, how could she possibly notice him?