Before Blackbeard's arrogant words had fully faded into the wind, the nightmare circus behind him sprang into action.
"Wehahahaha! Let's crush them!"
"Champion" Jesus Burgess, a man built like a barrel with legs, flexed muscles that looked like sacks of cannonballs.
Beside him, the "Corrupt King" Avalo Pizarro, the "Heavy Drinker" Vasco Shot, "Van Augur" the Marksman, "Catarina Devon" the Crescent Moon Hunter, and the traitorous former Head Jailer "Shiryu of the Rain"—the worst criminals in history—charged straight toward Whitebeard like tigers descending a mountain!
These were the monsters erased from history, Level 6 prisoners who were supposed to rot in the dark forever.
Now, they were unleashed on the world's biggest stage.
"Protect Pops!"
Marco the Phoenix roared, his voice cracking with rage.
"Don't let those filth touch him!"
The remnants of the Whitebeard Pirates, eyes nearly splitting with fury, rushed forward to intercept.
The collision was instantaneous and brutal.
The battle situation, in a way no one had anticipated, slid into the abyss of utmost chaos.
It was a three-way melee: Marines vs. Whitebeard Pirates vs. Blackbeard Pirates.
The Marines were thrown into shock.
Regular soldiers looked from the execution platform to the harbor, their heads spinning.
"The monsters from Impel Down..." a Vice Admiral stammered, his cigar falling from his mouth.
"Why are they here?! Where is Magellan?!"
On the execution platform, Fleet Admiral Sengoku's face turned the color of old ash.
He clutched his chest, feeling a migraine that could kill a Sea King.
"Teach..." Sengoku gritted his teeth. "You didn't just betray Whitebeard... you played the World Government like a fiddle!"
He realized things had spiraled completely beyond his control.
The script was gone. The cameras were rolling on a disaster.
However, amidst this swirling madness, there was one man whose focus remained razor-sharp.
One man who didn't care about betrayal, politics, or chaos.
Admiral Akainu, Sakazuki.
His hawk-like eyes darted between the laughing Blackbeard, the exhausted Luffy, and the defiant Ace.
His internal calculator was running cold, hard logic.
'Blackbeard is a problem', Akainu thought, his arm dripping with lava.
'A future threat. But he is fighting Whitebeard right now. Let the pirates kill each other.'
His gaze shifted.
'But those two...'
Luffy and Ace.
The "Evil Bloodlines." The son of Dragon the Revolutionary and the son of the Pirate King Roger.
'They are the immediate cancer. If they escape today, the Justice of the Marines will become a laughingstock. They must be eradicated NOW.'
Especially since Teach, who had defected from the Whitebeard Pirates, was now entangled with his new crew against the Whitebeard Pirates, leaving the old man temporarily preoccupied.
The Commanders were busy. The path was clear.
The opportunity was now!
"Evil must be cut off at the root."
Akainu's eyes flashed with explosive killing intent.
FOOSH!
His body instantly dissolved.
He transformed into a stream of dark red, viscous magma, bypassing the chaotic battle between the Whitebeard and Blackbeard Pirates.
He moved with terrifying speed, a heated missile locking onto its target.
He shot straight toward Straw Hat Luffy, who was retreating under cover!
At this moment, Luffy was already running on fumes.
He had broken into Impel Down, survived Magellan's poison, fought through the war, and used Ivankov's tension hormones.
He was severely exhausted, his legs shaking, barely able to stand, relying solely on sheer willpower to put one foot in front of the other.
He dropped to one knee, gasping for air.
The Vivre Card fell from his hand.
"Luffy!"
Ace saw the magma missile incoming. He saw his little brother on the ground.
Without a shred of hesitation, Ace stopped running.
He turned around and spread his arms wide, using his own flesh and blood to shield Luffy.
Flames roared fiercely behind him, a defiant wall of fire against the approaching magma.
"USELESS!"
Akainu's voice was as cold as frost, echoing from the molten rock.
"Fire cannot burn magma! You are merely fire... I am the substance that consumes you!"
Akainu reformed his upper body from the lava flow.
His right arm expanded, turning into a massive, terrifying fist of bubbling rock.
"Whether it's the bloodline of the Pirate King or the spark of the revolutionary army, both will be extinguished here today!"
The heat was intense enough to warp the air. It was a heat capable of burning through islands.
"HELLHOUND!"
This punch was thrown with absolute lethal intent. It wasn't a warning. It wasn't a capture attempt. It was an execution.
It was so fast that Marco, occupied by Blackbeard's crew, couldn't even react in time!
"ACE!" Luffy screamed.
Ace's fate seemed sealed.
The magma fist loomed large, promising death.
...
Fifty meters away, Putin watched this scene unfold, his mind going blank.
He was standing behind his shiny new pushcart, holding the Divine Megaphone.
"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap," Putin hyperventilated.
That damned mission! The tempting Black Tech product! The annoying penalty of losing his cart!
And now, the literal climax of the anime was happening right in front of him.
'Wasn't the mission just to shout a few words?! Wasn't it just... drawing some aggro?!'
He looked at the timer.
The "Newbie Protection Aura" from the previous reward—the one that blocked a single fatal attack—was still active.
He had maybe 10 minutes left on it.
He was invincible for one hit.
"Screw it!" Putin gritted his teeth. "I need that WiFi! I need to see Akainu cry!"
The moment Akainu's magma fist was mere inches from touching Ace's back—the moment that would traumatize a generation of anime fans—Putin moved.
He grabbed the crimson, glowing [Divine Megaphone] from the counter of his cart.
He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the dusty air of war.
And then, he roared.
He shouted a line that even he thought would make him laugh the next second, purely because of how out of place it was in this world of pirates.
"ADMIRAL AKAINU AHEAD!! LISTEN TO MY ADVICE!!"
The sound didn't just come out of the megaphone.
It exploded.
It rippled through the air like a physical shockwave.
"KILLING WON'T SOLVE PROBLEMS! VIOLENCE CAN'T CREATE GDP!!"
The acronym "GDP" echoed off the fortress walls.
"I'VE JUST STOCKED THE LATEST 'PEACE DOVE DRONES' WITH GLOBAL LIVE STREAMING AND ONE-CLICK BEAUTY FILTERS! PLUS CUSTOM 'LOVE AND JUSTICE' FILTERS!"
"ORDER NOW—BUY THREE, GET ONE FREE! COMES WITH A 'WORLD MARINE OUTSTANDING EMPLOYEE' BANNER! SEVEN-DAY NO-REASON RETURNS SUPPORTED!"
Putin took a frantic breath, his eyes darting to the laughing Blackbeard nearby.
"AND YOU! BLACKBEARD! YOU FATTY! STOP LAUGHING OVER THERE! YOU'RE BLOCKING MY WIFI SIGNAL!!"
These hoarse, broken-voiced shouts, amplified by the divine-grade loudspeaker, instantly transformed into rolling thunder.
The sound was magically enhanced to penetrate the mind, overriding the roar of cannons and screams of the dying.
It clearly echoed across all of Marineford!
The effect was instantaneous.
Everyone engaged in battle—whether Marines, Shichibukai, or Pirates—paused simultaneously.
It was like someone had pressed the pause button on the remote.
Whitebeard, in the midst of a life-or-death struggle with Blackbeard's crew, slowed his punching motion by half a beat, a look of bewilderment crossing his face.
Blackbeard, Marshall D. Teach, who had been laughing maniacally about his era beginning, choked on his laughter.
"Cough! Wha... fatty?" Blackbeard touched his stomach, genuinely offended. "And what the hell is a Wa-Fa Signal?!"
But the most critical reaction came from the target.
Akainu.
The man of absolute focus. The man who never wavered.
He froze.
For exactly one second, the magma dog froze.
His brain, wired for tactical warfare and justice, tried to process the input.
'GDP? Drones? Beauty Filters? Seven-day returns?'
He didn't understand a single one of these terms.
"GDP" sounded like a disease.
"WiFi" sounded like a curse word.
Combined with the sheer volume and the audacity of a salesman pitching products during an execution, it created a mental impact beyond his comprehension.
'Is this a code?' Akainu thought. 'Is this a trap?'
His otherwise unstoppable magma fist, due to this brief moment of cognitive dissonance, hesitated.
The momentum broke. The trajectory deviated imperceptibly in speed and accuracy.
In a battle between masters, victory or defeat hangs by a thread.
A hesitation of 0.1 seconds is fatal. A hesitation of a full second is a miracle.
And miracles happen.
CLANG————!
A crisp, high-pitched metallic clang resounded across the battlefield.
It was the sound of Haki clashing with the force of nature.
Sparks flew.
Magma splattered sideways, sizzling on the ground instead of burning through flesh.
A rapier, imbued with unrivaled, terrifying Conqueror's Haki, had appeared out of nowhere.
It precisely blocked Akainu's fist—a fist capable of melting steel—inches away from Ace's chest.
The sword's owner stood firmly in front of Ace and Luffy.
He wore a black cloak, loose pants, and sandals.
He had striking red hair, three scars running over his left eye, and a carefree, untamed, yet deadly serious expression on his face.
Red Haired Shanks.
One of the Four Emperors.
He appeared as if out of thin air.
"That's enough," Shanks said calmly, his voice cutting through the heat.
He looked at the sweating Akainu, then glanced around the frozen battlefield.
"Whoever you are... please, give me some face." (Face face fruit user has appeared!)
Akainu's pupils contracted to the extreme.
The veins on his forehead bulged. He stared at the man before him—Red-Haired Shanks!
'Why is he here?!' Akainu's mind raced. 'Wasn't he supposed to be stopping Kaido in the New World?! How did he arrive so fast?'
Akainu retracted his arm, stepping back warily.
His gaze flickered from Shanks... to the distance. He looked at the dazed Marine soldier standing behind a pushcart, holding a red megaphone.
'And what is a 'Beauty Filter'?'
The question burned in Akainu's mind, confusing him more than the arrival of a Yonko.
Everyone was stunned by Red-Haired's appearance.
The war had effectively just been put in checkmate.
Meanwhile, fifty meters away, Putin slumped against his cart.
His legs finally gave out.
"He... he stopped," Putin whispered. "I actually stopped it."
Suddenly, his mind was flooded by a wild, ecstatic mechanical voice.
[Ding!]
[Detected that the host has successfully caused severe mental shock to Admiral "Akainu" using sales pitch lines!]
[Analysis: Target "Akainu" experienced Confusion (Max), Rage (High), and Consumer Curiosity (Low).]
[Task "Stun the World with One Cry" Completed!]
[Comprehensive Rating: SSS-Grade!]
[Task overfulfilled! Host successfully interrupted a canon event of death!]
[Rewards Doubled!]
[Congratulations to the host for unlocking a new product category: [Black Tech Electronic Products]!]
[Congratulations to the host for obtaining +100,000 System Points!]
[In recognition of the host's decisive role in altering key plot developments (Saving Fire Fist Ace), an additional special reward is granted:]
[REWARD: Mobile Safe House (Upgradable Version)]
Initial Form: Two-person high-tech camping tent.
Features: Absolute Soundproofing, Climate Control (AC/Heating), Infinite Power Supply, 50-inch 4K TV with Gaming Console (Loaded with 10,000 games), and Trans-Dimensional High-Speed WiFi.
Putin stared at the holographic text.
He didn't care about Shanks.
He didn't care about Blackbeard.
He didn't care that he had just saved Ace's life.
Air conditioning...
WiFi...
Gaming console...
He sniffled, a surge of warmth welling up in his eyes that had nothing to do with the magma.
He, Putin, a corporate slave who died of overwork, was about to realize the ultimate dream.
He was going to have a home with gigabit internet in the middle of the One Piece world!
"I did it," he sobbed, hugging the megaphone.
"I'm going to play video games while the world burns.!"