Two days earlier Danton had dragged half the lacrosse team over after practice, still in their sweaty gear, and decided Phei made the perfect moving target.
They chased him across the back lawn with paintball guns, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world while neon splatters exploded across his shoulders and spine.
"It's just a game, dude," Danton yelled between shots, nailing him square between the shoulder blades. "Don't be such a pussy."
Phei still had the welts the next morning, ugly purple bruises blooming under his shirt like spoiled fruit.
Yesterday someone at school stole his backpack and yeeted it into the pool. All his books, his calc notes, the review packet he'd stayed up until three rewriting—everything ruined.
He walked into fifth period dripping and empty-handed and Mrs. Patterson gave him detention for "chronic unpreparedness and disrespect."
She didn't even ask why he was wet.
This morning, he woke up to the sound of liquid hit fabric. Opened his eyes and sees Danton standing in the closet doorway, pissing on Phei's clothes like he was watering plants.
"Toilet's clogged upstairs," Danton said, zipping up with that lazy grin. "You'll handle it, yeah?"
Something inside Phei didn't break so much as it just… gave out. Quietly. Completely. Like a rope that's been fraying for years finally letting go all at once.
He cleaned the closet. He washed every piss-soaked shirt by hand in the laundry room sink because the machines were "for family only."
He went to school. Sat through classes like a ghost. Came home, ate the scraps they left on the kitchen island while the Maxtons talked about vacation plans and stock prices and whatever new car Sienna wanted. Nobody looked at him.
Then came back to school he climbed the service stairs to the roof.
The wind up here was cold and honest. Six stories down the courtyard looked almost soft, like it might forgive him. No more paintballs. No more ruined notes. No more waking up to someone pissing on the few things he owned. Just quiet.
He closed his eyes. Leaned forward. Let the weight shift onto the balls of his feet.
[DING!]
The sound detonated inside his skull, loud enough to rattle teeth. Phei's eyes snapped open. His balance was already gone. One foot slipped off the ledge and the rest of him followed.
"Shit—"
His arms pinwheeled. Fingers scraped the railing, caught nothing but air.
Words burned themselves across his vision in glowing blue:
[Host found… Binding the system…]
He was falling. The mansion tilted away, sky and ground trading places, wind screaming past his ears like it was mad at him personally.
[Analysis… Suitable Hosts for Seven Hundred Systems…]
"WHAT THE FUCK—"
His stomach tried to climb out through his throat. Windows flashed by, the manicured lawn rushed up, every blade of grass suddenly sharp enough to cut.
[Ding! Host's weak for all systems…
[Choosing system…
[10%…
[33%…
He could see the concrete now, every crack lit up like neon.
[79%…
[99%…]
Phei squeeze his eyes shut and waited for the end.
WHUMP.
He hit something that gave instead of shattered. Bounced once, hard, then again, limbs flailing like a broken doll before he finally rolled to a stop on his back.
Pain detonated along his spine, white-hot and vicious. He couldn't breathe, couldn't scream, could only arch and wheeze while the world spun.
DING! HIGHSCHOOL-PARADISE DXD SYSTEM BOUND!!
The letters floated in front of him, cheerful and bright like a birthday card.
He forced his eyes open. Above him was red-and-yellow vinyl. Below him, the squishy give of inflated plastic. A bounce house. Someone had set up a goddamn bounce house on the lawn for… spirit week? A fundraiser? Whatever rich-people reason.
WELCOME, HOST PHEI MAXTON
"Shut… up… do not call me that," he rasped, trying to roll over. Fresh fire shot down his back and he collapsed again, gasping. "Just… shut up."
Phei just lay there, staring up at the stupid red-and-yellow ceiling of the bounce house, every breath feeling like someone was grinding glass into his spine, and then the words popped up again, big and glowing and way too excited.
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING CHOSEN AS THE HOST FOR THE HIGHSCHOOL-PARADISE DXD SYSTEM!
MAIN QUEST ACTIVATED: CONQUER YOUR HIGHSCHOOL BELLEs… AUNT, COUSINS AND HOT RUDE NEIGHBOR!
REWARD: SYSTEM BEGINNER PACK
FAILURE: DEATH
TIME LIMIT: WEEK
He blinked. Blink again. And then he started laughing.
It hurt, Jesus it hurt, every laugh felt like his ribs were trying to stab him in the lungs, but he couldn't stop. The sound came out cracked and wet and a little hysterical, bouncing around the vinyl walls like a crazy person was trapped inside with him.
He had literally just tried to kill himself. Like, full-on stepped off the roof, accepted the whole "this is how it ends" thing, and now some magical anime bullshit was telling him his new job was to… conquer his family female?
His cousins and their mother?
The neighbor who once threw a smoothie at him because he mowed the lawn too early?
"I'm dead," he wheeze, tears leaking out the corners of his eyes. "I have to be dead. This is hell. This is actually what hell looks like, a bounce house and a harem to-do list."
NEGATIVE. HOST IS ALIVE. SYSTEM BOUND. TUTORIAL WILL BEGIN SHORTLY. PLEASE STAND BY.
"Please stand by?" Phei repeats in this high, broken voice he didn't even recognize. "Sure. Yeah. I'll just chill here with my spine in three pieces and wait for customer service."
He closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to win, waiting for anything, and then this warmth started spreading through him.
Every breath send fresh waves of pain through his torso. "This is the most ridiculous thing that's ever happened to me," he muttered. "And I once had to explain to Melissa why there was a used condom in my textbook."
TUTORIAL INITIALIZING...
ANALYZING HOST CONDITION... WARNING: HOST PHYSICAL CONDITION CRITICAL. INITIATING EMERGENCY PROTOCOLS.
"Oh, now you notice," Phei said to the ceiling.
[EMERGENCY HEALING ACTIVATED
RESTORING HOST TO FUNCTIONAL STATUS
COST: 100 SYSTEM POINTS]
Slow at first, then faster, like someone had cracked open his chest and poured in hot honey. The screaming in his back dulled down to a grumpy ache, the kind you get after carrying groceries up six flights because the elevator's broken.
[REMAINING BALANCE: -100 SYSTEM POINTS NOTE: HOST NOW OWES THE SYSTEM. COMPLETE QUESTS TO REPAY DEBT.]
Phei opened one eye. "I owe you money now? I didn't ask for the deluxe healing package, dude."
[HOST REQUIRED EMERGENCY MEDICAL INTERVENTION TO PREVENT SYSTEM LOSS DUE TO HOST DEATH. DEBT WILL BE REPAID THROUGH QUEST COMPLETION.]
He sat up, slow, testing. His back still hurt, but it held. The blue screens hovered in front of him like they were waiting for a tip.
[WELCOME TO THE HIGHSCHOOL DXD SYSTEM, HOST PHEI MAXTON.]
YOUR NEW LIFE BEGINS NOW!]
Phei stared at the words for a long time.
He thought about Danton pissing in his closet this morning.
About Victoria laughing while he refolded towels for four hours.
About Melissa looking straight through him at dinner like he was a smudge on the glass.
About Sienna smashing his laptop screen because she could.
About Brett and Sierra and every single person who'd spent years reminding him he was nothing.
Then he looked at the quest again.
Conquer your highschool Belles... Aunt, cousins and Hot rude neighbor.
Something cold and sharp and brand-new settled in his chest.
He climbed to his feet, wobbling on the bouncy floor like a baby deer, and wiped his face with the sleeve of his ruined uniform shirt.
"Yeah," he said out loud, voice still shaky but getting steadier with every word. "Okay. Let's see how they like being the ones who don't get to say no anymore."
The bounce house squeaked under him as he took one step toward the little vinyl door, then another.
For the first time in years, Phei Maxton was smiling and it actually reached his eyes.
"Let's see how that goes."