The funeral took place the next morning.
The sky was gray, a dull sheet of clouds hanging low over the town as if the world itself felt heavy. The air was still, and the only sound was the soft crunch of footsteps on damp soil.
They buried Lian near the large sycamore tree behind the settlement. Children were usually buried closer to the river, but my parents chose a different place. A quieter place. A lonely place.
I stood at the edge of the crowd, soaked in cold wind, shivering despite the jacket I wore. Everyone else stood close together, shoulder to shoulder, whispering prayers, holding each other as if the cold came from something deeper.
No one stood with me.
The grave was small.
Too small.
A white cloth covered Lian's body. I couldn't even see his face. I wanted to. I wanted to look at him one last time, wanted to touch his hair and feel his warmth even if it was gone.
But Selene refused to let me near him.
"Don't touch him," she had said earlier, her voice cracking. "You… don't get to."
I stared at the ground while the priest spoke, his voice distant, muffled by the storm brewing in my chest.
"We return one of our own to the arms of the Ancients," he said. "May his spirit shine bright beyond this veil, and may his light guide those who remain."
Light.
Lian's ability had been light.
Warm, gentle, alive.
Now it was gone.
My hands shook as I clenched them into fists. Every breath scraped against my ribs as if my lungs had turned brittle.
This shouldn't have happened.
I should've saved him.
If I were stronger
If I were worth anything
If I had even the smallest power
If I wasn't me
He would still be here.
My vision blurred.
I didn't realize I was crying until drops hit the ground at my feet, merging with the soil.
When they lowered his body into the earth, my knees almost gave out. I wanted to run to him, kneel beside the grave, beg him to wake up. But every time I stepped forward, I caught Selene's eyes.
She didn't glare.
She didn't scowl.
She looked through me.
Like I was no one.
Like I was air.
After they covered the coffin with soil, the crowd began to leave one by one. Some sent sympathetic glances toward my parents. Others whispered quietly as they passed me.
"What a tragedy…"
"If only he had been there sooner…"
"The powerless boy was supposed to watch him…"
"I would never trust him with my child…"
"If my brother died because of me, I'd never recover…"
Each whisper carved into me like a rusted blade.
I wanted to disappear.
I stood alone long after everyone left. Kael and Elaine hovered a short distance away, unsure if they should approach. Their expressions were full of worry and pain.
I didn't move.
I couldn't.
My legs felt rooted to the earth beneath me.
It didn't feel real.
It didn't feel possible.
Lian couldn't be gone.
He was just smiling yesterday.
He had just laughed.
He had just hugged me.
He had believed in me.
The world around me blurred again, and I pressed a hand over my mouth to stifle a sob.
"Asher…"
I flinched.
Elaine approached slowly, her movements gentle, deliberate. Kael followed, his usual irritated scowl softened in concern.
Elaine reached out hesitantly. "Do you… want us to take you home?"
Her voice cracked at the end. She was trying not to cry too.
I swallowed hard, my throat burning.
"I… I can walk."
Kael stepped forward. "You don't have to act strong right now. It's okay if you can't stand. It's okay if you—"
"I said I can walk," I whispered.
He stopped talking.
Elaine nodded gently. "We'll walk with you."
They flanked me as we headed down the path. Not touching me, not pushing me, just there. Silent. Their presence was the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely.
Until I reached my house.
Selene was outside, her face pale, her hair disheveled. Darius stood behind her, stiff and silent.
When they saw me, Selene's expression hardened.
"You can leave now," she snapped at Kael and Elaine. "This is a family matter."
Elaine opened her mouth to argue, but I shook my head.
"It's fine," I whispered.
They didn't like it, but they obeyed. Elaine touched my shoulder lightly before leaving. Kael clenched his fists but said nothing.
When they were gone, I stepped toward the house. Selene stopped me.
"Not a word," she hissed. "Not a single word."
"I… I'm sorry," I choked. "I tried to—"
"Tried?" Darius snapped, his voice rising. "You should have saved him."
My heart twisted painfully. "I did everything I could. The water was strong. He slipped. I—"
"You're lying," Selene said. "If you weren't weak, if you weren't useless, this wouldn't have happened."
"I'm not lying," I whispered.
She stepped closer, her eyes filled with a scorching mix of grief and hatred.
"You were supposed to protect him," she said. "You were supposed to be the older brother."
"I know," I breathed shakily. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't bring him back," Darius said, his voice cold as stone.
A silence fell, heavy and suffocating.
Then Selene spoke again, softer but sharper.
"You should have been the one who died."
My breath caught.
The world tilted.
She didn't yell it.
She didn't scream.
She said it like a simple truth.
Something she truly believed.
Darius didn't correct her.
Neither looked away.
Neither took it back.
I felt my heart break a second time.
Without waiting for my response, Selene turned and walked into the house. Darius followed.
They didn't tell me to come in.
They didn't look back.
They didn't ask if I ate.
They didn't ask if I was cold.
They didn't ask if I was okay.
I was nothing to them now.
Maybe I always had been.
I stood outside as the sun dipped behind the clouds. The cold seeped through my clothes, but I didn't feel it as sharply. My body felt numb. My mind felt hollow.
When I finally entered the house, everything was silent. The table was set for two. Only two.
Lian's empty chair felt like a wound.
My parents sat side by side, facing away from me.
No one spoke.
No one acknowledged my presence.
I ate nothing. My throat was too tight. I went straight to my room, the weight of the day suffocating me.
As soon as the door shut, my legs buckled.
I slid down to the floor and buried my face in my hands. Pain tore through me, so sharp I couldn't breathe around it.
"I'm sorry…" I choked. "Lian… I'm sorry…"
The words felt useless. Hollow.
As if they didn't belong to me anymore.
It was dark by the time my sobs finally quieted. I curled against the wall, exhausted, shaking. My room felt too small. Too dark. Too cold.
And yet… something else settled in the silence.
Something faint.
A pressure behind my thoughts.
A presence, like a shadow only visible at the corner of my vision.
No voice.
No words.
Just a strange heaviness, as if someone were sitting right beside my mind, waiting.
I brushed it off as exhaustion.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to breathe through the pain in my chest.
A soft tapping startled me.
Tap.
Tap.
I raised my head slowly.
The sound came from the window.
Confused, I stood and walked toward it. When I pulled the curtain aside, my breath caught.
Elaine.
Standing outside in the cold, her hands cupped around her mouth to whisper through the glass. Her hair was messy from the wind, her cheeks flushed, her eyes red.
"Asher…" she mouthed. "Can I come in…?"
I didn't hesitate.
I unlocked the window and pushed it open. The night air swept in, cold and sharp. Elaine climbed in carefully, making sure not to make too much noise, then closed the window behind her.
She looked at me with trembling eyes.
"I needed to check on you," she whispered.
I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself.
"Your parents wouldn't let me in," she continued. "They… they didn't even answer when I knocked. So I came here."
She stepped closer.
"You don't have to face this alone."
Her voice cracked slightly.
"I know you tried," she said. "You're not at fault. You did everything you could."
I looked down. "My parents don't think so."
"They're grieving," she murmured. "Sometimes grief makes people cruel."
"No," I whispered. "They meant it."
Elaine's eyes softened with pain.
"I'm here," she said quietly. "Kael's here too. We won't leave you."
The warmth of her words softened something sharp in my chest.
She sat beside me on the floor, our shoulders almost touching. We didn't speak for a long time.
Her presence made the darkness feel less suffocating.
When she finally left, she made me promise I would try to sleep.
I didn't.
I lay awake staring at the ceiling, replaying the river over and over again.
Lian's scream.
His hand slipping.
The sickening crack when his head hit stone.
Tears slid silently down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered again and again.
But the words changed nothing.
Hours passed.
And again… that faint pressure stirred at the edges of my thoughts.
A presence without form.
A shadow without shape.
Listening.
Waiting.
Growing.
I hugged my knees to my chest.
I didn't know what it was.
But for the first time since Lian died…
The darkness felt like it wanted to answer me back.