"Alright, first things first, we need to get you guys some proper clothes that don't look like they're from, like, a gothic horror convention,"
Theodore announced.
"And then... pizza."
Theodore opened the gate and led his unusual entourage—four towering, pale women and a former Elden Ring deity—toward his car.
"This is called a 'shopping mall,'"
Theodore explained as they entered the massive, brightly lit structure.
"It's where people exchange money for goods, mostly clothing and food. It's like a massive marketplace, but indoors and way cleaner."
The sensory overload was immediate. Alcina, used to the quiet elegance of her castle, frowned at the overwhelming noise and flashing advertisements.
"This place is... aggressive,"
Alcina murmured, pulling her sleeve slightly over her hand.
"So many vibrant colors, and such loud music. Is this preparation for battle?"
"Nope, just Tuesday,"
Theodore chuckled.
"We're heading straight to a department store. No capes, no corsets. We're going for comfort and blending in."
The dressing room experience was a cultural event in itself:
Alcina, she was the toughest case. Every modern top felt "insufficient" or "revealing." Theodore finally convinced her that floor-length maxi dresses and long, elegant dusters were the closest modern equivalent to her robes. "This fabric is not velvet," she complained, examining a high-quality cotton blend. "It lacks gravity."
Bela, she picked up a simple pair of denim jeans. "What manner of rigid leggings are these? They feel like peasant attire." Marika gently explained the concept of durability and casual wear. Bela finally settled on stylish leather jackets and slim-fit dark pants, leaning into a biker-chic look.
Cassandra, she was fascinated by anything brightly colored. She gravitated toward graphic tees and sneakers. She tried on a shirt with a picture of a cat playing a guitar. "This creature... is it familiar? Does it possess magical properties?"
Daniela, the most impulsive, Daniela was drawn to anything with sparkle or high heels. Theodore had to veto a pair of six-inch stilettos that would have made her look like she was teetering on stilts. She compromised on brightly colored athletic wear, finding the stretch and mobility exhilarating.
"Okay, final look check,"
Theodore said, surveying his now-modernized group. They were still strikingly beautiful, but now looked like a fashionably severe European family on vacation.
"Much better. No one is going to confuse you with a Victorian vampire now."
Next, Theodore led them to the food court.
"This is the sacred location of the Pizza,"
Theodore announced, pointing to a brightly lit vendor.
"The ultimate food of my people."
Alcina stared at the wide, flat bread covered in red sauce, white cheese, and pepperoni.
"It looks like a shield with blood and melted fat."
Marika, who had already sampled pizza during her acclimatization, leaned in conspiratorially.
"Trust him, Lady Dimitrescu. It is truly divine."
Theodore ordered a massive extra-large pepperoni pizza, and they sat down at a sticky table.
Alcina, she attempted to eat it with a knife and fork, meticulously cutting a tiny square. After her first hesitant bite, her eyes widened. The combination of savory cheese, tangy sauce, and salty pepperoni was an explosion of flavor utterly foreign to the bland, controlled palate of the Megamycete diet. She abandoned the fork and grabbed the slice, eating with surprising speed.
The Sisters devoured their slices almost instantly, fascinated by the concept of fast food. "It's warm! It's salty! It requires no hunting!" Daniela exclaimed, reaching for a third slice.
"See? Best invention ever!"
Theodore grinned, watching them feast.
Marika, sipping a diet soda, offered the final piece of advice.
"Theodore is correct on the nutritional value of this particular dish. However, Lady Dimitrescu, you must now understand the primary cultural currency of the 21st century: money."
Marika pulled out a small handful of American bills and coins.
"These are 'dollars.' They replace gold, livestock, and forced tribute. You will require these for goods, services, and, most importantly, for more pizza."
Alcina looked at the paper money, then at her empty pizza box, and finally at Theodore.
The complexity of this world was far greater than the brute horror of the last, but the rewards—like freedom and pizza—were worth it.
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