LILY
I'm done making breakfast it's my first priority after waking up. It took how many hits from my dad just to make it sink into my head, breakfast first. I head to the bathroom and stood facing the mirror. With my shirt of last night still bloodied I raised it up slightly while my other hand runs down the path of the stitches, I keep on getting better at it, before moving along to trace the bruises.
'It will soon end Lily hang in there' feeding myself with lies is the only way I can survive here even though deep down I know it will never end and he will never change. Showering was as bad as me dressing up because I have no clothes and also my body aches severely.
Doing the stitches last night was another hell, seeing the needle pass through me repeatedly without pain killers or any sort of medicine at all just doing it raw was agonizing I waited to hear the outside door opening meaning he stepped out so I can dampen a clean cloth with some of his alcohol to help with the pain
But the chunk of a man wouldn't leave and I was bleeding out from the deep cuts so I had to do it like that I threw in a sleeveless black gown long enough to hide any bruises and a gray hoodie it's what I wear everyday why bother when no one notices me
I left home immediately knowing if I see my dad early this morning, I should just forget about my plans on going to school I thank my neighbors for questioning my dad about how I don't go to school and since then he put me in one. That day I ended up with a broken arm
My body hurts like hell from walking but no money for a cab or bus and there's no way I'm asking him for money for a cab so I will stick with my God given ability to walk. Reaching the school gates, I wonder how my dad managed to afford this school because for all I know the only job that my dad does is making people's life a living hell but who cares I'm temporary free and that's enough for me.
Apart from being really lonely, school is the best place to be in, don't judge me I love books and most importantly reading them although class can be really boring at times -most times in general I still love it. The bell rung and I head straight for class
------------------------------------------------
"Last period finally", I say in my mind as I was stretching a bit, settling down on my seat for the class, loud screams bounce off the walls causing me to turn my head and my eyes crashed into a dark ocean. I can't lie to myself I've never seen anyone like him.
His presence commanded attention, his sun kissed tan skin sparking under the soft lights of the classroom and his suit screaming millions.
I don't know but he just has this natural aura seizing the breath out of many including me, black hair slicked back in perfect ways that one can imagined with a curl dangling loose, those deep ocean blue eyes that can drown your soul and let's not even start with his muscular build. I wonder who he is
"Good day everyone I'm your substitute Industrial Chemistry professor, I go by Gabriel, Mr. Gabriel"
Guess my question has been answered
After class no one could stop talking about how hot he is or how handsome he is and honestly I would agree with them but I don't stand a chance first he is my teacher and I'm not even anywhere close to being pretty I smile shaking my head
What the hell I'm I saying?
The moment class ended my mind zoom off in a blur thinking, it does that at times and- 'Class is over'
My soft gaze landed on a soul crushing one. During the class I don't know if I'm being silly but he's been shooting me these weird gazes that I always seem to catch, the deranged thing was he held his gaze after a while then just moves on with the class
'Sorry' barely above a whisper, I hurriedly and messily manage to gather my books only for my body to give on me right at this moment
A loud thud echoes across the walls gaining his attention back at me, this time i was on the floor, stupid body. His gaze this time was that of concern which I found odd
No one has ever looked at me that way
"You okay?" It took me a minute to realize he was already at knee level examining me before his gaze landed on my private cuts
That no one is meant to see
I snatched my hand away from his, quickly gathering my books on the floor before mumbling an apology and running for the door
Shit, oh no, like seriously Lily of all the places to fall it was in the middle of a fucking class with a teacher that is very good looking. I know i haven't eaten anything for the past couple of days my dad choke me with his belt as a warning that he doesn't want to ever see me take or eat anything in that house so lets blame him.
I sigh, No time for wallowing what's done is done I just have to avoid him for the mean time, as of now I have work to do. My part time is a waiter at a coffee shop downtown and with these injuries its going to take a hell lot of time.
"Hey Lily" My boss greeted me as soon as I reached there. My eyes glance at the clock, fuck
"I'm sorry for coming late" I pleaded I really don't want to lose my job I literally just got it last month to save up when I turn 18 but my dad isn't aware If not, he would have threaten to lock in a freezer if I didn't quit
I'm not kidding he has done it before
"It's fine I understand you're coming from a far place but why didn't you take a cab" the sweet lady with velvet hair and rosy cheeks who I admire as my boss so much asked in a lovely tone. I'm grateful for this one lovely person in my life really, that's why I look forward to being alive everyday
Just to hear Mrs. Cary voice, it is somewhat soothing. I discovered when I'm with her I rarely have episodes except for one time a rude customer barged in and started blaming me for his life problems
That's when she discovered I'm a bit special (sick in the head isn't really a nice description) but when she pleaded for me to tell her more, I stopped her dead in that track I refuse to have another person I love in my life die at the hands of my father
"No money for the now" I try my best to give her the smile that says "please don't ask more questions" she always seem to understand I know she knows something is wrong but she is being patient with me and I admire that
Unfortunately, I won't be forthcoming so she should give up, in her late 20's she should be having fun not to be burden by a teen with plenty life problems she nodded and told me to get back to work that they were a bit short staff at the moment
The work was exhilarating, there were a lot of customers today and the business is booming. At times Ms. Carry would drop in from time to time to check if everything is going well and drop compliments for all her staffs for the great job
Soon the darkness got noticeable and my shift came to an end, its time to go home and let the horror story resume.
I waved Ms. Cary good bye as I close for today, heading straight home. A vendor stand caught my eye and I saw affordable snacks and food items to buy with my last cash I can't wait for my paycheck at the end of this month I could use it to finally get a decent meal. The walk from my job was actually peaceful tonight
No gang of men harassing me or rain pouring on me like it hates me, just peaceful all of which ended as I reached the gate of my house and with each step I took, I felt air being sucked out of my lungs, my mind racing wild
Run
He won't know
I really tried my best to listen but what happens next? Where will I seek shelter, what about my job wake up Lily this isn't some fairytale story this is real life.
Reaching for the door knob I heard unfamiliar voices, visitors? The door creaked as I step inside and shut it close and I saw my dad seated with a man and woman dressed as cops, fuck my life
Avoiding their gazes I greeted and walked past them, praying to Jesus, they don't stop me or worse ask questions. With unsteady hands I place the grocery on the kitchen table overhearing him talk about me to them, he totally blew me away.
"Lily is an angel I feel bad for letting her work this part time job with her studies stressing her'
He continued "but she agreed like the sweet angel she is and I promised I'll work extra hard to lift us up from this temporary struggle"
I snorted temporary struggle? Oh, please his job can send us to a new country if we want, I won't lie, I'm in awe I never knew he has the capability of saying nice words the closest to nice I got from this man was that his grateful I didn't get my mum looks because I would bring shame to him but I think it's the other way round
He shouldn't leave out the part where he beats the shit out of me every day, I wish I could report but I tried that and it was ugly really ugly. Shaking my head I got rid of all those thoughts at least for one day I want to sleep well
'Lily'
My name… he called it gently this time, people really are pieces of shit you know they are fucking hypocritical, they pretend, everything is fake and oh well that screams me too since I have to play my part. I took in deep breaths calming myself down, I can't possibly get riled up now I have to keep the face
'Yes… Dad'
Its all just pretense
I walked to the living room and saw my dad gesturing me to sit beside him on the small rounded table facing the officers which I obviously did I'm afraid he will finally kill me if I bring out his real colors in front of visitors and not any type of visitors, the cops
'So how was school today?" my dad threw the question into the air
Me? Is he really asking me that?
'It was fine' it came out as a stutter unsure on how to respond to that he's never asked me anything concerning me before
The male officer at my left cleared his throat before speaking 'Mr. Smith we are busy people so lets cut to the chase'
I don't like where this is going
'Lily' the female called out. Okay that was direct, I turned to the freckled face lady and gave a short smile in response, my mind going to a rumble designing the perfect response to any questions thrown my way any slip up and I'm gone its as clear as day in my father's eyes
'How is your living in this neighborhood?'
'Normal as always but with my dad it's a game changer' I pull my brightest smile ever and a few giggles slips from my lips sounding so unreal
'That's nice to hear, have you been having troubles at all in anything?
'No not really why do you ask' I made the cute baby face my mum was always fund of when she was still alive
'Your neighbors complained about screams heard last night from this building
'Oh that- "my dad tried to intervene I sure he doesn't trust me much because of last time
"We are talking to the kid sir" the male cut him short setting his gaze on me like as if he is aware of a truth that no one else is, that makes me a bit nervous
'Yesterday I always warn my dad not to leave the iron on but he has so much he's thinking about he eventually left it''
"Since I'm a sleep walker I stumble upon it and it fell on my hand it hurt a lot" I show them the most recent scar I have as proof and I think that sealed the deal seeing as the officers nodded in response
"Is that really all, anything else you want to tell us" My eyes dance from the woman to my dad his steel eyes dead set on me my throat tight all of a sudden but I gave a curt smile and shook my head
"Nothing else"
I'm uncomfortable one can tell from the way I'm squirming on the chair I want to leave I can't have an episode right in front of these people I might as well just kill myself from there
"Okay darling go get some rest we would like to speak to your father alone" smiling again to the polite woman sitting across me I lift myself up before a large hand engulf mine
"Make sure you eat something before sleeping" his voice went a little lower as he tugs me closer till my ear was at his lips 'I'm so going to fucking kill you' His statement made my spine shiver, not in a good way.
Sending him my ever-dashing smile I try my best not to walk like as if I'm on a run even though deep down I'm trying to get far away from that monster seated at the living room if only these cops knew.
Sometimes I'm grateful for my neighbors but there got to be some limits. I was barely managing but they just have to make things unbearable for me I need to have a word with them and tell them to fuck off I can imagine the thoughts swirling around my dad's mind
He might think I'm conniving with them to oust him on his evil ways but I got the message the last time I'm not stupid
He… killed a cop in front of me because of me
My sight started getting blurry as I feel everywhere closing in on me. I gather all my energy to bolt the door behind before my legs gave up on me. My body crashed the floor with a loud thud
Fuck I need to breathe
I will so fucking kill you
Visibly shaking I crawled to the window where a soft glow of light coming from the streets illuminated everywhere. The worry swarms me the last time it was bad
He… I squeeze my eyes shut trying to block the memories
I thought he could help me. He wasn't meant to confront my dad about it just take me far away from him that was the plan but my dad arrived home seeing me with the man and a luggage in both hands
That's when I saw hell
He smiled at me locking the door "Who is this, Lily?"
"There would be no need for pleasantries as you can see, we are on our way" Mr. Ryant spoke firmly I would have thought he was oblivious to the thick tension swimming in the atmosphere and from the way my dad jaw clenched but his eyes gave him away
Mr. Ryant is just as scared as I am right now
"To where?" my dad's tone changed, hell we have to leave this place. I tug slightly at him pleading to just leave me here and go but a silent shake to the head signed him away to death
"I said to where?" His voice went higher and I felt myself being pushed back by Ryant as he let the luggage fall from his hands
"To a school camp"
"Why did the school send a cop to do so at fucking night, without my consent?" I was confused how he found out he was a cop till I saw him looking at Mr. Ryant badge
Mistake No. One
"She missed the trip in the afternoon and as the school guard I was sent to retrieve her" all this being said as my dad went to the kitchen beside us
"Are you sleeping with my daughter" I choke on my saliva the hell? I'm just 15 how he could have such thought
"I mean I knew she was a slut what I never knew she would be doing it with a cop, nice move lily" he brought out a knife out of nowhere, spinning with a glint of gleam in his eyes
"How could you say such words about your daughter?" Mr. Ryant seething with anger, this wouldn't end well
"Because if you're lying one of us have to say the truth here" my dad kept on spinning the knife in his hand shocked a bit he never pricked his fingers on it, I have to get this man out of here. I push forward and tug at his shoulder
"Ryant please just go, it's not worth it"
"Ryant... You say" my dad nodding his head, ignoring this gesture Ryant eyes focused on mine "it is, so stay back"
"So, you are sleeping with her, well there would be no need to worry or warn you"
My dad continued "Lily remembers this, you are the cause of his death"
"I'm not dying today old man give me your worst" Mr. Ryant said going into a stance I'm familiar with. He wants to fight my dad I could see with the way he clenched his fingers
The worse was worse than the worse
It was bloody
...Blood everywhere even when he switch the lights off it didn't stop me from seeing the disaster happening right in front of me
Chopping sounds filled the air and it was not food items it was a body
"See lily this is what happen when you go ahead and bother people with problems, I'm a fucking doctor you think I wouldn't kill him!"
"I kill for a living! My job is the only way I can live such fantasy and you want to take that away from me" he threw the large tool to the ground causing me to jerk and crawl farther away from him i don't know how I landed on the floor but I could care less about that
The real threat was approaching
I close my eyes shut waiting for the inevitable before he pulled at my hair and literally dragged me to where the body was
Hell, I kicked, scream, thrashed around but he was too strong.
"Open your eyes, and see the mess you caused"
I rushed to the bathroom to puke, funny thing I have not eaten for a while, so why in the world am I puking he is coming I just don't know when but he will
Lord please even if I'm gonna die early let it not be at the hands of my father
I jolted at the large bang to the door my everything froze on spot "Open the fuck up" came the shout followed by loud beatings on the door which poses as a preview to what he will do to me
Just more gruesome
If I open up, I'm over if I don't, I'm still over I just have to pick the one with -1 amount of pain. Sweat pricked at my skin my brain working overtime before drawing to a conclusion, either ways something is gonna break and its either me or the last sanity my father has within
Hushing the demons going wild in my brain I felt more stable getting out of an episode I was about to have. The last thing I need is being in an episode with a monster of little restraints I have to be alive and awake through it all
The moment I stood up getting ready to open the door, the room went silent. Is he still there? I waited but nothing else could be heard. Maybe another one of his games?
"Fuck" I don't like this I prefer my dad loud than being this, bad things happen when he is quiet. When hes loud he acts without thinking but this he's planning and I won't like any bloody part of it
After long hours of waiting, I felt sticky everywhere and decided to get a quick wash lucky for me there's a bathroom here I could only possibly imagine stepping out of this room and us crashing on my way. A shiver ran through me, Abso-fucking-lutely not.
Hours past of me still waiting but nothing. At least I'm going to bed clean and not in ache that is a first. I did a double check that the doors are locked and I safely went to bed praying a silent prayer it does not come crashing down I know it's already overdue
Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day; God I'm not praying for a knight to save me I'm asking for a less harmful captor
I'm done praying for a knight that may never come