Mr. Bai was, once again, thoroughly shaken.It was the same expression he wore the first time Sanshier swaggered into Gaojia Village—back when he still firmly believed "Dao Xuan Tianzun" was just another scam artist in the grand tradition of the "Lifeless Mother."
But then reality decided to body-slam his worldview.
Because in ancient times, nobody was a real atheist.You give people one little miracle—just one—and their faith resets to factory settings.
Gao Chuwu, Zheng Daniu, and the others gathered around the newly descended trebuchet, staring at the thing with the awe of illiterate peasants discovering mechanical engineering.
"This thing, ah…" Gao Chuwu said, poking the raised throwing arm, "it threw once and now the big spoon is standing straight up. So it's broken already, right?"
Li Da, who had at least seen things more complicated than a hoe, sighed the sigh of a craftsman surrounded by turnips."You push the arm back down so it locks into the bracket. Then you can use it again."
"Oh. Right. That makes sense."
"How do we push it down?"Apparently, the sense only lasted half a second.
"Climb up there! Tie a rope around the spoon!" Li Da barked. "Then we all pull together!"
"Good idea!"
High School Fifth—whose nickname was simply because he climbed things like a monkey, not because he ever stepped inside a school—was already scrambling up the throwing arm like it was a willow tree. In three swipes he reached the spoon, tied the divine rope, and slid back to the ground.
A chorus of villagers grabbed the rope and shouted the universal ritual of the untrained labor force: "Hiyo! Hiyo! One—two—THREE!"
With a creak and a satisfying THUMP, the arm came down.
"Success!"
"Hahaha! We've mastered the immortal weapon!"
Finally snapping out of his daze, Mr. Bai regained enough mental dignity to start shouting orders again.
"Good! Push the trebuchet behind the city gate. Aim it outward! When the bandits attack, we'll smash them like rotten melons!"
The villagers roared in agreement and immediately got to work.Li Daoxuan watched them for a second, worried that the massive contraption might be too heavy—But these villagers had already laid down wooden branches as rollers like seasoned pyramid builders.
They weren't educated, but when it came to physical labor, they had PhDs.
Mr. Bai, stroking his beard thoughtfully, muttered,"Useful as this immortal trebuchet is… just one doesn't feel like enough."
The heavens apparently agreed.
Because Gao Yiye suddenly shouted, "Tianzun says: since you've learned how to use one—here are more!"
Everyone turned skyward.
And then—Thunk!A second trebuchet dropped from the heavens, dust exploding around it.
Then a third.Then a fourth.Then a fifth.
In the blink of an eye…
Twenty trebuchets stood neatly in a riotous rainbow of colors.
Green, blue, red, gray—Looking less like siege engines of war and more like a preschool toy exhibition.
Mr. Bai stared, mouth open, mind empty, soul rebooting.
So that's why the village's first wall was multicolored and made of suspicious material.It wasn't the villagers' madness—It was Heaven's.
By this point, kneeling had become a village reflex.Everyone hit the dirt at once.
"Thank you, Heavenly Lord!"
Even Mr. Bai's own tenants knelt, shouting the same words.The servants hesitated for half a second—Then realized it was safer to kneel than not to kneel.
Only Mr. Bai was left frozen like a startled goat.
Sanshier gave his sleeve a tug."Mr. Bai, there are twenty trebuchets now. Each needs people to handle it. You have to reorganize everyone."
"Huh? Ah! Yes, yes!"
He shoved his shock down and switched fully into commander mode.
"You two blacksmiths—stay behind the wall with the trebuchets! When I shout 'SMASH,' hit the mechanism with your hammers!"
Li Da and Gao Yiyi saluted like soldiers.
Mr. Bai then jabbed a finger at a crowd of elderly, women, and children.
"You all—join the trebuchet crew! Pull the rope together! Then put a smaller stone in the spoon!"
They exchanged uncertain looks, but after trying it once, discovered that many hands really did make light work.
Meanwhile, Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu put on their armor and struck heroic poses atop the wall.Young, tall, armed, armored—They finally looked like proper heroes.
Somewhere in Mr. Bai's mind, a tiny bureaucrat inside him whispered:"Hiding armor is a capital offense…"But a louder voice replied:"Attacking a fortified bandit stronghold is even more illegal. And the governor literally said, 'We'll talk about it next spring.'"
So yes. Armor. Trebuchets. Divine siege equipment. Whatever.
As long as they killed bandits, no one cared.
By sunset, the red-gold glow stained the sky.Li Daoxuan's takeout arrived—fish-flavored shredded pork on rice, with a 300ml cola.
Just as he lifted his chopsticks, a roar burst from the box.
The villains in Gaojia Village were shouting in panic.
Li Daoxuan leaned over…
And saw it.
The main force of the bandit army had finally arrived.