I didn't realize how easy it was to lose track of myself.
Not in a dangerous way - just in that dreamy, floating way where life feels too sweet, too shiny, too perfect to question anything. That was what being with Kade felt like. Every day with him blurred into something that pulled me deeper, like I was stepping into a story I didn't want to end.
Classes?
Assignments?
Meetings?
They became background noise.
What I noticed now was Kade - his smile, his presence, the way he carried himself like he owned the world and still somehow chose me.
I woke up excited every morning because I knew I would see him. I dressed slower, wanting to look good. I checked my phone too often, waiting for his message even though I knew he would probably show up in person anyway.
People talked.
People noticed.
But I didn't care.
I felt like the lucky girl who somehow landed the handsome, popular, confident boyfriend girls whispered about. The kind of guy who made you feel chosen just by looking at you.
Kade wasn't the boyfriend who sat down and asked deep questions about my past or my worries. We didn't have long emotional conversations or talk about fears or the future.
But I never stopped to think about that.
I didn't even consider it.
All that mattered was the life I was having - the attention, the excitement, the warmth of someone always wanting me close.
And Kade wanted me close. Always.
He found the smallest excuses to be around me. If I tried to go to lunch alone, he appeared behind me like he'd been looking for me. If I walked to my dorm to rest, he found a reason to escort me. If I sat with Ivy or Rav, Kade slid into the seat next to me, his hand finding my thigh or my waist like it was a habit he didn't want to break.
But the part that kept me dizzy was how often he kissed me.
He didn't wait for perfect moments - he created them.
In hallways, behind the building after class, when we were walking together, when he picked me up, when he dropped me off.
He'd lean in slowly, eyes fixed on me like I was the only thing that existed, and his lips touched mine with that intensity that made my heart stumble.
And every time he kissed me, I felt how much he wanted more.
In a way that pressured me a bit. His hands lingered a bit too long, the way his breath caught, the way he looked at me afterward like he was holding himself back.
It made my stomach flip.
It made my mind blur.
It made everything else feel smaller.
I didn't think about school.
I didn't think about balance.
I didn't think about whether this speed was good or bad.
All I knew was that being Kade's girlfriend felt like being wrapped in something golden - something exciting, something perfect, something that made me forget the parts of myself that weren't living this new life.
But I was too far inside the dream to notice.
Campus felt like it was vibrating that week. Posters hung on every wall, speakers blasted announcements between buildings, and different departments were preparing for Student Week like it was a national event. Everywhere I turned, someone was arguing, rehearsing, selling something, or rushing to a meeting.
Lily dragged me into the middle of it.
She shook me awake before sunrise.
"Get up. We have a planning meeting. I'm not going alone."
I wanted to sleep, but I followed her anyway.
The meeting was chaos:
The science department wanted to build a robotics exhibition.
The arts students argued for the main stage.
The business students were designing T-shirts.
Someone suggested a fashion walk and Lily immediately volunteered us without even looking at me.
I sat quietly, overwhelmed by the noise, scrolling through my phone because Kade had just texted:
"Come to my block after class."
Everything else faded after that.
Lily snapped her fingers in front of my face.
"Stay focused. We need to pick a theme!"
But my mind was already drifting toward Kade.
Everything about him pulled me in effortlessly.
During rehearsals, when we practiced walking, posing, turning, and pretending to care, I kept noticing the same two people around campus:
Sarah and Denzel.
I didn't know them personally, but they were impossible to overlook.
Sarah was loud - in personality, in volume, in presence. She talked like the world needed to hear her, hands constantly moving, laughter echoing across hallways. She had this bold confidence that made people instantly aware of her.
Denzel was her opposite.
Quiet, steady, composed, almost elegant in the way he moved. He spoke softly when he did speak, always observing more than he participated.
They were always together.
Not in a romantic way - just aligned, like a perfect balance of chaos and calm.
I didn't understand why I noticed them so much.
Maybe because they were the kind of pair that made sense without trying.
But at this point in my life, they were just people I always saw, nothing more.
Rav was another constant presence on campus
He was pure energy.
Athletic, loud, always laughing, always surrounded by friends. He played on the intramural football team and carried a speaker everywhere like the campus needed his soundtrack.
I saw him all the time:
Running football drills
Teasing his teammates
Arguing about games
Making everyone around him laugh
Even during Student Week rehearsals, he wandered past, tossing comments over his shoulder.
"Lily, stop stressing everyone!"
She threw a hairband at him. He dodged effortlessly and grinned like annoying her was his hobby.
People like Rav made campus feel bright and alive.
People like Sarah made it unpredictable.
People like Denzel made it balanced.
Meanwhile, I existed somewhere between all of it, not fully part of anything anymore.
When Kade met me after class that afternoon, everything else quieted instantly.
He walked toward me with that confident ease only he had. He didn't care about Student Week rehearsals or the campus-wide energy. He only cared about me being beside him.
"You look tired," he said, brushing his hand against my arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Lily had me in meetings all day," I said, rolling my eyes.
He smirked. "You should stop letting her drag you around."
Then he took my hand and pulled me closer - the kind of closeness that made me forget that anything else existed at all.
We sat outside his block for hours, talking about random things, occasionally falling into quiet moments where he kissed me like he owned the moment. His presence was strong and steady in its own way, even if he didn't really care about what was happening around me.
When I was with him, the noise of campus completely disappeared.
The rehearsals.
The arguments.
The laughter of Sarah from across the hall.
Rav shouting instructions on the football field.
Denzel's calm, unreadable expressions.
All of it faded.
Kade had a way of closing the world around me until only he was left inside it.
When I finally returned to the hostel late in the evening, Lily dramatically threw her hands up.
"Do you know we have fittings tomorrow? You can't keep disappearing on me!"
I apologized, laughing it off, because Lily always exaggerated. But under her playful tone, there was truth.
I was disappearing - slowly, silently, willingly.
That night, as I lay in bed, I thought about how the campus was swirling with life:
football practices,
committee meetings,
rehearsal schedules,
loud personalities like Sarah,
steady ones like Denzel,
carefree ones like Rav.
A whole world of people and energy existed around me.
But I wasn't really in it anymore.
I was slipping deeper into Kade's world - where nothing existed except him and the feeling of being wanted.
And at the time, that felt like enough.