I woke up with my stomach twisted in a tight knot.
All night, my mind kept replaying the party, the way Kade barely looked at me, the way Denzel said my name like he'd known it forever, the whole conversation that felt so small but somehow stuck with me.
But today wasn't about Denzel or the stars or quiet moments.
Today, all I wanted was to fix things with Kade.
I checked my phone the second my eyes opened.
Still no reply.
I stared at our last messages, the one where I'd asked,
When can we see? We need to talk.
Nothing.
I typed again.
Maya: Kade please… can we meet today? Just tell me when. I just really want to clear things up.
I pressed send before I could overthink it.
But the silence that followed felt heavier than any answer.
---
Class felt impossible
I sat in the lecture hall, staring at the board like the words were in another language. My pen wasn't even moving. I kept unlocking my phone every few minutes, even though I knew there was no new notification.
Students around me whispered, passed notes, scrolled on their phones. Someone laughed behind me. A group near the window was arguing over an assignment. Everything felt loud, but my head felt far away.
I caught a glimpse of Sarah and Denzel when they walked in—together, as always. They took their usual seats, not even looking my way. Denzel had headphones around his neck, focused, calm as usual. I wondered if he remembered the way he said my name last night. I wondered why I even remembered.
But thinking about him only made me feel guilty.
My eyes drifted back to my phone.
Still nothing from Kade.
---
Finally… a message
Halfway through the class, my phone buzzed.
I nearly dropped it.
Kade: Won't be able to see you today. But we can talk here.
My heart sank.
I breathed out slowly, then typed.
Maya: Okay… can we talk now? I just want us to be okay.
He didn't respond immediately.
I tried to focus on the teacher again, but my vision kept blurring with overthinking.
When he finally replied, it wasn't what I hoped for.
Kade: I just have a lot I'm up to right now.
That was it.
No explanation.
No reassurance.
No softness.
Just distance—cold and smooth, the kind you can't argue with.
I bit my lip and typed carefully.
Maya: I get that… I really do. I just need to know if we're okay. I want to help if you're stressed.
He took a long time again.
Too long.
Then:
Kade: We're cool.
My chest tightened.
That was the bare minimum.
Not "we're fine,"
not "I miss you,"
not "we'll figure it out."
Just cool.
I whispered to myself,
"Okay… it's fine… at least we're still together."
But I didn't believe it.
Not really.
---
After class
I stepped out into the hallway feeling drained. I didn't even hear people calling each other, dragging backpacks, talking about lunch. Everything felt muted.
As I walked, I saw Rav leaning against the staircase railing, scrolling through his phone. He looked up when he noticed me.
"You look tired," he said casually.
"I'm fine," I lied.
He raised an eyebrow. "Sure."
Somehow that made me smile a little. Rav had a way of speaking that made it feel like he wasn't asking for explanations, just offering a moment of quiet.
We walked for a bit together, talking about random things—assignments, dorm drama, how he still hated waking up early. Nothing deep, nothing emotional. Just… normal.
It felt good.
But the second we split ways, my mind went straight back to Kade.
---
Back in the dorm
By the time I reached Lily and Ivy's room, the girls were sprawled on the beds, eating snacks and scrolling through their phones. Zoey was painting her nails on the floor, humming something soft.
"Maya, you look like yesterday ran you over," Lily said immediately.
I dropped onto Ivy's bed. "Thanks. Exactly what I needed to hear."
Zoey looked up. "Is it Kade?"
I hesitated, then nodded.
The room quieted.
I told them everything—about texting him all morning, about class, about his "we're cool," about how it didn't feel cool at all.
Ivy crossed her legs, thoughtful. "You know… sometimes people say 'we're cool' when they don't want to admit they're distant."
"And that's not fair," Zoey added.
Lily frowned. "Maya, you're doing your part. He needs to meet you halfway."
I sighed and leaned back against the wall, hugging a pillow. "I just… I don't know if he still wants me."
They exchanged a look I didn't miss.
Before the conversation got too heavy, Ivy changed the topic slightly—light stories from class, jokes, random dorm gossip. It helped more than I expected.
But even with the laughter, the weight in my chest didn't leave.
---
Later, alone in my bed
I unlocked my phone again.
Still no new message.
Still just "We're cool."
I whispered to myself—soft, stubborn, hopeful:
"Okay… that's enough. We're still together. That's enough… right?"
But the uncertainty in my voice was louder than anything else.