Chi yuan sat alone in his office late that night. The city lights outside his window flickered like they were breathing, but inside the room everything was still and cold. He wasn't working anymore. His computer screen had gone dark. His fingers had stopped typing. His mind was somewhere far away, pulled back into a memory he tried so many times to forget but never managed to let go.
He leaned back in his chair, tired, and closed his eyes.
And just like that, Xi fei's laugh filled his mind again.
It wasn't even a loud laugh. Just soft and light, the kind that made a person feel like the whole world was alright for a moment. He remembered the way she used to cover her mouth a bit when she laughed, like she was shy even though she never really was.
The first time they met was in university. Chi yuan had been walking across campus with two heavy books in his arms when she suddenly ran past him chasing a white balloon. The balloon had slipped from a child's hand, and she was yelling wait wait little one I'll get it
She didn't see Chi yuan coming, and she bumped right into him. His books fell to the ground, papers flying everywhere.
Sorry sorry sorry she said almost out of breath as she bent to help him gather everything. Her hair fell over her face, and when she glanced up at him, her eyes were bright like she was carrying sunlight inside them.
Chi yuan wanted to be angry because those notes took him hours to prepare. But the look on her face, that messy mix of guilt and laughter, disarmed him completely.
It's okay he said stiffly, trying to sound calm.
Are you sure she asked. If I ruined your notes, I can rewrite them. My handwriting is kinda nice sometimes.
Back then, she was just a stranger with wind in her hair and a smile he couldn't forget.
Later, they ended up in the same economics class. She waved at him every time she saw him, even when he pretended he didn't notice. After a while, he started waving back. And after another while, they shared lunches together, walked to class together, studied together.
Xi fei was the kind of girl who walked into life like she owned it. She was fearless but soft, blunt but gentle. She could talk for hours about anything. She could make even silence feel comfortable.
Chi yuan was not like that. He was quiet, serious, always overthinking. But she liked that about him. She once told him you are the calm in my chaos and he had no idea how to reply, so he just looked at her ears turning red and pretended not to notice his own chest warming up.
He remembered the first time he held her hand. They were standing outside the library, and Xi fei was complaining about the cold. She didn't ask for his hand. She just slipped her fingers between his like it was the most natural thing in the world. He froze at first, then held her tighter.
Their friends always said they were perfect. That kind of perfect that made others jealous without even trying. Chi yuan thought the same. He thought the world had finally given him something good and he wasn't going to let go.
But he didn't know life was waiting around the corner holding a knife.
The memory shifted, becoming darker.
It was the winter of their final year. Xi fei had stopped smiling as much. She said she was tired but she forced herself to pretend she was okay. One night, when Chi yuan asked her what was wrong, she finally broke.
My family wants me to marry someone else she said in a voice that didn't sound like hers. Someone from a business family. It's complicated. I tried to fight it but… they won't let me choose.
Chi yuan felt like he couldn't breathe. He reached for her hand but she pulled it away. Not because she didn't want him. Because she didn't want to hurt him more.
We can run away he said. It came out before he even thought about it. I'll take care of you. We can go somewhere else.
She shook her head. Her eyes were already red.
You can't save me from this. No one can. I don't want you to throw away your future for me.
Chi yuan stood there in the cold air, his heart beating painfully like he was losing something he didn't know how to keep.
The last time he saw Xi fei was at the train station. She wore a white coat. She was crying but smiling. That smile haunted him for years.
Don't wait for me she said softly. Live a good life.
He grabbed her arm. Xi fei don't do this. Don't leave me like this.
She hugged him. Tight. Too tight.
I love you. But I can't stay.
Then she pulled away, step by step, until she disappeared into the crowd. He almost chased her. He almost ran after her train. But her last words kept echoing in his head.
Don't wait for me.
So he didn't. Or at least he tried not to.
He forced himself to work harder, to become someone bigger, someone successful. But every room he entered felt emptier without her. Every night felt colder. He pretended he was fine, but inside he was still standing at that train station, waiting for someone who told him not to wait.
Then one day, he heard she got married. That she moved abroad. That she built a new life far away from him.
He stopped loving her only on the outside. Inside, the feeling stayed buried like a wound that refused to heal.
Years passed. He proposed to Xiao mei not with love but with exhaustion. He thought maybe another person could fill that space, or at least quiet it.
She tried. She really did. And sometimes he saw her effort and felt a tiny guilt he ignored too quickly.
But deep down, Xi fei's ghost still lived inside him.
Chi yuan opened his eyes again in the dark office. His chest felt tight. His hands were cold. He didn't know why the memories came so strong tonight.
He didn't know this was the beginning of a storm.
Because soon, the woman he buried in his heart would walk back into his
real life again.
And that would break Xiao mei's heart in ways she never deserved.