"Hmm... the people of Mondstadt have grown closer to Barbatos, the Anemo God, though their attitude makes me a little scared..."
Venti hummed a tune, plucking the strings of his Lyre.
The lingering glow of the sunset sprinkled on the quiet path, and an irrepressible smile hung on his lips—ever since the "Art Statue" became popular throughout the city, the Angel's Share's customer traffic had tripled, and customers were all gathering in the square, which meant... "Hehe, I can freeload more wine now!"
Suddenly, a string snapped with a "zing!"
"Hmm?"
Venti stopped, and the music ceased abruptly.
It was too quiet... not even the sound of talking.
This eerie silence usually meant only one thing—
"Whoosh!"
A sack, covered in Q-version Anemo Gods, descended from the sky and precisely enveloped the bewildered Bard.
"Eh?! Wai—"
"Thud!"
A precise hand chop landed on the back of his neck.
Elliot hoisted the squirming sack and gestured to Jesse, who was cloaked in black at the alley entrance.
The latter was distributing limited edition "Blushing Barbatos" figurines to people under the guise of "free giveaways."
"This is the last batch."
Jesse lowered his voice and handed the last figurine to a blushing Nun.
"Remember to give a five-star review~"
Knights of Favonius Headquarters, Library
Lisa was at the Crafting Bench making potions: "So, you guys really managed to catch the Anemo God who doesn't do his job?"
Zane adjusted his mask: "Probability: 98.7%."
Matt tried to squeeze through the main door but got stuck in a rectangular shape: "Let... let me... let me in!"
"Bang!"
The library door was violently kicked open.
Elliot rushed in, carrying the constantly squirming sack, followed closely by Jesse, who slapped a wooden sign onto the table.
Lumine instinctively took the sign and read: "Lisa, you promised us... if we brought Barbatos himself, you'd make us potions that let us speak normally..."
The air solidified.
Lumine silently hugged Paimon, who was floating beside her; she needed a moment of peace.
"Pfft—!"
Acting Grand Master Jean's sprayed coffee arced in a perfect parabola through the air.
Amber's Bunny Ear Bow "whooshed" up like an antenna: "Lord Barbatos?!"
Paimon was unconsciously squeezed by Lumine until her eyes rolled back: "I'm... I'm dying..."
Lisa's Magic Book "thudded" to the floor. She pointed a trembling hand at the sack: "You guys wouldn't actually..."
"Rip—"
The moment the sack was ripped open, Venti, curled into a ball, looked up blankly, a few strands of straw still clinging to his hair.
He was clutching half a bottle of unfinished Dandelion Wine, his cheeks flushed from lack of oxygen in the sack, looking like a caught drunk cat.
Venti blinked: "Ehe?"
Everyone: "..."
That familiar voice... no doubt, this Drunken Bard was definitely Barbatos!
After all, the statue in the square was still occasionally saying "Ehe"!
——————
In the end, the quartet was confined to the Solitary Room for a day for disrespecting the gods.
Matt was an exception; he was too big to fit, so he was assigned to do some chores.
Meanwhile, at Venti's location.
"So, Ba... Lord Venti, you need our assistance to clear the toxic blood from Dvalin?"
Acting Grand Master Jean put down her cup, her brows slightly furrowed.
Venti sat on the windowsill of the Acting Grand Master's office, swinging his legs: "That's right~ The original plan was to soothe him with the Holy Lyre der Himmel, but now..."
He shrugged helplessly.
"Those four rascals left Dvalin with severe psychological trauma."
"Pfft!"
Lumine abruptly turned to face the wall, her shoulders shaking violently.
Paimon quickly flew over to pat her back: "Traveler, what's wrong?"
"N-nothing..."
Lumine's voice was muffled.
"I just suddenly remembered... remembered that Hilichurl Roast was delicious..."
Everyone in the office tacitly averted their gaze—they all knew what she was thinking, because Barbara had already told them what those rascals had done when she returned, although they hadn't believed it at the time.
Acting Grand Master Jean cleared her throat, pretending to organize the documents on her desk; Lisa's Magic Book floated in mid-air, its pages turning without a breeze; Amber whistled while staring at the ceiling, her mouth twitching uncontrollably.
Venti sighed: "Although the method was a bit... special, they did remove nearly half of the toxic blood from Dvalin's body."
He shook the Dandelion Wine in his hand.
"Tomorrow, when they get out of confinement, we'll go straight to Stormterror's Lair."
"Is that really okay?"
Acting Grand Master Jean asked worriedly.
"I mean... Dvalin's condition..."
Well, with those four rascals around, Acting Grand Master Jean was no longer considering the possibility of failure.
"Don't worry~"
Venti winked.
"At most, Dvalin will just have a conditioned reflex whenever he sees Hilichurls from now on..."
Meanwhile, deep within Stormterror's Lair.
Dvalin coiled himself into a giant ball, his Dragon Wings tightly wrapped around his body, his tail firmly guarding a certain spot.
His scales occasionally bristled as he warily surveyed his surroundings.
"Roar..." (Those demons shouldn't have followed me here, right...)
A gust of wind blew, rustling the fallen leaves in the ruins. Dvalin sprang up abruptly, his Dragon Pupils narrowing into slits: "Who's there!"
Only after confirming it was just the wind did he slowly relax, using his claws to carve a new defensive fortification map into the stone slab: [Emphasis on strengthening rear defenses].
After thinking for a moment, he exhaled a wisp of flame, adding next to it: [Absolutely no purple energy allowed near me!]
Outside the confinement room, Paimon curiously peered through the iron bars: "Are you guys doing okay in there?"
"Absolutely fantastic~"
Elliot's voice came from inside.
"Lisa's potion works great! We can finally talk!"
Jesse slipped a note through the gap in the bars: "We prepared a condolences gift for Dvalin."
Paimon unfolded the note; it showed a heart-shaped potion bottle with a label that read "Special Dragon Hemorrhoid Cream." Although she couldn't understand it, it definitely wasn't a good name.
"You guys..."
Paimon massaged her forehead, suddenly realizing Matt was gone.
"Huh? Where's that big guy Matt?"
A patrolling Knight pointed to the city wall: "...He's over there... helping Captain Kaeya draw Safety Propaganda Posters..."
Paimon turned to look, only to see Matt using Electro Element to draw a giant graffiti on the city wall: a Q-version Dvalin being chased by Q-version Hilichurls, with a speech bubble next to it saying "Don't come near me!"
"It's over..."
Paimon murmured: "Once Dvalin recovers, Mondstadt is probably going to face the most brutal revenge in history..."
The next morning, everyone gathered at the city gate.
Venti looked at the energetic quartet, who had all drunk Lisa's potion, and couldn't help but ask: "How did you all... rest last night?"
"Super comfortable!"
Elliot patted his chest.
"When do we leave?"
Jesse shook the RPG in his hand.
Zane pulled out a sign: "According to calculations, Dvalin's toxic blood is currently concentrated in the third joint of his right wing."
Lumine silently took two steps back; she had already seen the giant device behind Matt, labeled "Dragon-Specific Cupping Device."
"Then~"
Venti clapped his hands cheerfully.
"Let's go give Dvalin some 'Psychological Counseling'!"
In the distance, from the direction of Stormterror's Lair, a mournful dragon's roar suddenly echoed, startling countless birds into flight.
"This feeling! This feeling! Don't come near me!"
"Don't do this anymore! Barbatos!"