Inside Tenshukaku, the atmosphere was heavy.
Jesse held an exaggerated long spear with a small 'Victory' flag hanging from its tip. He cleared his throat and said solemnly:
"I finally meet you... Raiden Shogun."
Raiden Shogun slowly opened her eyes, a hint of surprise flashing in her purple pupils: "A talking Hilichurl?"
She stood up, her slender fingers gripping Engulfing Lightning, lightning flowing along the blade: "You are exceptions, and exceptions are enemies of eternity..."
"I will embed you into the statues!"
Before her words finished, Raiden Shogun had transformed into a purple lightning bolt, instantly closing in on the quartet!
However—
"Bang!!"
Matt, from who knows where, pulled out a metal baseball bat and delivered a perfectly accurate home run. Raiden Shogun was instantly sent flying backward, smashing a large hole through the wall of Tenshukaku!
"Good shot!"
Elliot whistled.
Raiden Shogun tumbled several times in the air, barely stabilizing herself, but before she could adjust her posture, a huge dark shadow was already approaching—
"Boom!!"
The Wolf King delivered an aerial spinning kick, and Raiden Shogun crashed back to the ground like a cannonball. The floor of Tenshukaku cracked inch by inch, and the entire building collapsed with a roar!
Amidst the rising dust, Raiden Shogun tried to stand up—
"Hold her down!"
the quartet pounced on her instantly!
Elliot picked up a Folding Stool and struck Raiden Shogun on the back of her head: "You want to embed us in statues! You want to embed us in statues!"
Matt swung his baseball bat at Raiden Shogun's knee: "eternity, huh? eternity, huh?"
Zane's thunder hammer sparked with electricity, as he smashed and cursed: "You imposed the Vision Hunt Decree! You enacted the Sakoku Decree! Don't play politics if you have no brain!"
Jesse's Nunchaku whirled with fierce power: "We are exceptions? We are exceptions?!"
Raiden Shogun was pinned to the ground, Engulfing Lightning long gone to who knows where. She gritted her teeth, lightning surging in her eyes: "You... dare..."
"Still talking tough?!"
the quartet struck even harder.
——————
In the distance, Lumine and Paimon hid behind the ruins, watching the scene in astonishment.
Paimon: "Sh-should we do something?"
Lumine: "...I think we'd better pretend we didn't see anything."
Paimon: "B-but Raiden Shogun is getting beaten up!"
Lumine: "...How about we cheer her on?"
Paimon: "???"
——————
Finally, Raiden Shogun's struggles grew weaker and weaker, until she lay motionless on the ground.
the quartet stopped, panting.
Jesse wiped his sweat: "Done!"
Zane put away his thunder hammer: "Now she should be able to listen properly."
Elliot put away his Folding Stool: "Wouldn't it have been better to do this earlier?"
Matt scratched his head: "She's not dead, is she?"
"Buzz—"
A high-pitched tremor suddenly echoed in the air.
Raiden Shogun's fallen body suddenly erupted with dazzling lightning, and purple energy ripples spread rapidly like waves on water.
Before anyone could react, the entire space of Tenshukaku was instantly swallowed by pure darkness, like an overturned ink bottle.
"Plane of Euthymia." Zane's voice echoed in the void.
"She dragged us into her mental world."
As the darkness receded like a tide, everyone found themselves standing in the ancient Inazuma City, constructed from memories.
Raiden Ei held Musou no Hitotachi, the lightning flowing on its blade illuminating her face erratically.
"Oh, the shut-in finally decided to stretch her limbs."
Elliot flicked the electric sparks off his Insulated Gloves.
"Isn't it boring hiding in the Plane of Euthymia for five hundred years?"
"Absurd!"
Lightning patterns flared in Raiden Ei's eyes, and she transformed into purple lightning, striking swiftly.
The blade light from Musou no Hitotachi tore tiny black cracks in space.
"Clang!"
Elliot's hands, clad in special gloves, firmly clamped the deity's blade, the insulating material and electro element fiercely rubbing together, erupting in dazzling sparks.
"How is this possible?!"
Raiden Ei's pupils contracted sharply.
Her blade had once shattered Gods, yet now it was blocked by a pair of ridiculous rubber gloves.
"We are—"
Zane's thunder hammer suddenly struck from the side.
"—here to beat you awake!"
"Bang!"
The hammer face, imbued with lightning, slammed heavily into Raiden Ei's face, sending her flying.
The deity's body crashed through three memory-formed pavilions before finally stopping.
"Raiden Ei!"
Zane walked over, stepping on the ruins.
"Your Plane of Euthymia can indeed materialize your will—"
Jesse suddenly leaped out of the dust, his Nunchaku precisely entangling Raiden Ei's sword-wielding wrist: "But we never intended to fight on your home ground!"
"Wh-...?"
Before Raiden Ei could react, Zane had already grabbed her by the neck and pulled her backward.
The thunder hammer slammed heavily onto the ground, and space shattered like glass, forming spiderweb cracks.
"We are—"
Matt's baseball bat delivered the final blow.
"—here to drag the reclusive shut-in out into the sun!"
"Click!"
With a crisp shattering sound, the five fell together into the ruins of Tenshukaku in the real world.
Lumine, who was performing CPR on Raiden Shogun, looked up, startled, nearly collapsing the Shogun's chest:
"How did you drag Raiden Ei out too?!"
The sunlight of the real world shone on Raiden Ei's pale face. For the first time in five hundred years, she felt—the breath of the wind, the sound of the waves, Raiden Shogun lying on the ground, and... the shadows of four Hilichurls rubbing their fists together.
"W-wait!"
Paimon flapped around frantically in the air.
"Are you really going to beat the God?!"
the quartet had already formed a encirclement.
Elliot pulled out a second pair of Insulated Gloves, Jesse's Nunchaku sparked, Matt's baseball bat was engraved with "Cures eternity," and Zane's thunder hammer was overcharging.
"Correction."
The Wolf King's mechanical voice came from the clouds.
"According to Article 7 of Chapter 3 of the 'Teyvat Deity Re-education Manual,' this act is called: Loving Correction."
Raiden Ei trembled, reaching for her waist—Musou no Hitotachi was not with her.
She showed a panicked expression for the first time: "You... what exactly..."
"Don't worry~"
Jesse held Musou no Hitotachi, revealing a brilliant smile.
"We think you have a physical body, so we're going to teach you a lesson..."
"It'll be quick, it won't hurt—"
"—Just kidding!"
The four shouted in unison, fists and feet raining down like a storm.
On the roof of the distant Yashiro Commission, Yae Miko bit into her Fried Tofu, laughing so hard her body shook: "Oh my, this is truly... a rare sight in a hundred years~"
Lumine and Paimon huddled in a corner of Tenshukaku, trembling as they watched the scene unfold.
So... when the quartet wanted to beat someone up, was it this terrifying?
Elliot held Raiden Ei's arms from behind, a cold smile playing on his lips: "Don't move around, General~"
"You... dare—"
Raiden Ei's voice trembled with rage, but before she could finish—
"Bang!"
Jesse delivered a fierce right hook to Raiden Ei's face. Her head snapped to the side, and a trace of blood spilled from the corner of her mouth.
"Pfft!"
Immediately after, a heavy left hook slammed into her abdomen. Raiden Ei grunted, her body instinctively wanting to curl up, but Elliot held her firmly, unable to move.
"Does it hurt?"
Elliot asked with a smile.
"But the people of Inazuma have hurt for much longer than you."
With that, he suddenly released one of Raiden Ei's arms, grabbed her right wrist, and performed a swift over-the-shoulder throw—
"Boom!!"
Raiden Ei's body slammed heavily onto the ground, the Tenshukaku floor instantly cracking, and debris flying.
She coughed up a mouthful of blood, her vision blurring. Before she could recover, Elliot had already grabbed her arm and violently tossed her high into the air!
"Zane!"
"Received!"
Raiden Ei barely opened her eyes in the air. In her vision, Zane's thunder hammer was already charged with violent lightning, expanding at a terrifying speed—
"Bang—!!!"
The thunder hammer smashed squarely into Raiden Ei's body. She fell like a meteor, crashing heavily back to the ground, creating a massive deep crater.
"Cough, cough..."
Raiden Ei coughed violently, blood spilling from the corners of her mouth.
She tried to push herself up, but the intense pain made her arms tremble uncontrollably, unable to exert any strength.
Just then, in her vision, a huge shadow loomed over her—
"Boom—!!!"
Matt descended from the sky, delivering a heavy elbow strike to Raiden Ei's chest!
The ground completely collapsed, and the shockwave overturned the remaining walls and debris of Tenshukaku.
Raiden Ei lay at the bottom of the pit, her pupils unfocused, blood continuously gushing from her mouth, even breathing becoming difficult.
the quartet stood at the edge of the pit, looking down at the once arrogant deity.
"Now..."
Zane crouched down, his thunder hammer gently tapping Raiden Ei's forehead.
"Can we talk properly?"
Raiden Ei's lips trembled, and finally, she slowly closed her eyes.
—She was defeated.