The three acknowledged Zoron's statement, and both agreed. Right now, exhaustion was overwhelming.
The adventurers gathered and rested. The interpass demanded a lot out of them; battles were fought. The travel wasn't anything like they were used to, and the mental strain had taken its toll.
As for the other Gem'rafh, they were making quick use of the resources they were given. Firstly, they started a large fire in the centre of the ruins and delegated separate tasks, which all ensured stability.
Var had certainly done his due diligence; he provided many crops that grew despite the harsh weather. He also provided more than just the 'basic' provisions. There was a greater abundance of wood, some steel, and other necessities that may not have seemed so obvious.
Within a few hours, Xerxes awoke.
Now that all the adrenaline had worn off, his body was writhing in pain, but he was getting used to it, battle by battle.
He gazed at his arm, and he could immediately tell that something was wrong. The flow of mana that circulated around his body seemed to stutter slightly.
Ordinarily, Xerxes knew that mana, once entering the soul core, naturally circulated around the body in equal and fluid motion, but with his heightened senses, he could sense that when it reached his left arm, the flow was disrupted.
'It's how magical rejection works in a crude way. I don't allow the mana to purify through my body; I immediately expel it at the magic point without purification.'
Airi crept into his mind suddenly and scolded him.
'I allowed Leiya to pamper you for too long, but I'm still here! And I am going to remind you that when you were testing this back in Baratheon, I told you it was dangerous!'
Xerxes' shoulders slumped.
"I should have expected this…" he murmured.
Airi then began listing the reasons it was strenuous. 'I'll break it down for you. The more you use this ability, the more dire the consequences will become. Magical rejection stops the purification of mana because it doesn't pass through the soul core, and that makes it extremely bad for a body like yours.'
Xerxes replied, "So the soul core is like a purifier of magic?"
She nodded and continued to explain. 'Everybody internally harnesses mana. What the soul core does is transfer the raw mana into one of the four elements. But you stop this process, and by some crazy force of nature, you're able to harness it and immediately direct it to a mana point.'
He raised his hand, covered in bandages, and rotated it.
This was his nature in battle: he took the risks others weren't willing to take, and he sacrificed more than some people could bear, but Airi was right.
"If I grow too comfortable with this approach, then soon enough…"
He sighed. "Then I won't have anything left to sacrifice; the risks I take will boil down to meaningless gambits. But that battle taught me something essential. The ego Baratheon gave me from becoming 'strong' meant nothing on the real battlefield, so I need more experience."
He turned towards Airi and smiled. "After all, how am I meant to protect you? I only just got you back," he said with compassion in his voice, as he rubbed Airi's feathers.
It was safe to say Airi didn't catch on to Xerxes' little scheme of calming her down with rubs.
His eyes then looked down on Leiya, who rested next to him, and his voice left as a whisper. "And I've just gotten you back, too, Leiya. I know it'll take time to mend our relationship, but having you here means more than you can even know."
Memories of their time in the Fallen Kingdom flashed by as the smile only widened.
For once in a while, life felt a lot more peaceful, and this was exactly what he needed. Xerxes wasn't only a warrior; he was also a simple kid who enjoyed moments like this, maybe more than battle, so for the time that this remained, he wanted to bask in it.
After a while of sharing his stories with Airi, reviewing his battle, and hearing about her journeys, Leiya slowly started to awaken.
Airi flew to Leiya and rubbed her head against her cheek.
She chuckled slightly and rubbed her eyes. "Good morning to you, too, Airi."
Xerxes also caught Leiya's eye, and compared to the last time they'd seen each other, he looked much better, which made her smile.
"You don't look so bad when you're not covered in blood, bruises, and dirt."
Xerxes scoffed. "And you don't look so bad when you're hugging Airi like a doll."
She peered at Airi and grabbed her by her wing. "Well, all the stuffed animals and beast hide were left at home, so Airi is the best I have!"
Xerxes chuckled slightly, and his expression straightened.
Leiya noticed the shift, and her smile slowly faded. "Look, Leiya, I know Zoron needs to talk to us. But this is more important to me than that."
The fire crackled in the distance, and Leiya looked him in the eye, and there was still trouble embedded in them, though she didn't choose to say anything.
"There are things I want to say to you, I want to really apologise for hurting you, I had some time to reflect, and I was so disgusted. That person who I became after Baratheon wasn't me. I should have put you first."
Leiya tapped her fist against his chest, shaking her head.
" For someone so good in combat, you're so dense." She said with an exasperated sigh.
" Huh?" Xerxes stopped, 'I'm dense? No, it's who I am, isn't it? I help others, what could be so wrong?' But Leiya didn't laugh, as it could be brushed off.
She continued, "Xerxes, I'd never be so selfish with that request. 'Put me before you.' Do you hear yourself? I get that sometimes we act nobly, and there are times of necessity where it's needed."
Leiya thought of Aemon placing her before him.
"When I didn't have the strength to survive, my grandfather did that, but you do that without thinking. You lie to yourself. 'Oh, it's necessary, 'I'm Xerxes, and I need to do this and that, but it's bullshit."
Xerxes was about to rebut, but Leiya put a finger over his lips.
"Just let me speak, I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm being honest because, like you, I want us to have a relationship again. I care for you, Xerxes, so much. So when you overwhelm yourself with responsibility, when you dance with death, don't you think it's stupid?"
She looked up at the sky, "You stopped me from doing something stupid. You stopped me from fighting Yves when I was going to die, but you always take that place. And if you keep doing this your going to die that way."
Anger spilt from her voice, "And do you know how much that would hurt?"
Xerxes' expression darkened, a sombre look appearing on his face. Airi also expressed that concern just a few moments ago.
Was what he was doing truly that damaging?
"You promised me you'd show me how beautiful the outside world is, and you made another promise after the battle with that blind lunatic, that you'd be honest."
She swiftly gripped Xerxes' hands.
His hands, calloused and scarred, wrapped around her warm, gentle hands. "So will you be honest with yourself?" Leiya's voice wasn't gentle. It was a lance, aimed directly at him.
He lingered for a moment, but he didn't hide it this time. Usually, Xerxes' thoughts were internalised, but he wanted to vocalise them, so his silence came tumbling out.
"It's what I've known, Leiya." His voice was low, gravelly with emotion. "I won't sit here and give you some pretty lie. I can't promise I'll be different by sunrise. That's not how this works."
Xerxes' grip around her hands tightened, a silent plea underscoring words. He wanted to understand. The need was a fire in his core.
"This...this is who I am." As much as he wanted to understand, Leiya, he wanted her to understand his perspective. "After the Fallen Kingdom, it reinforced my vows. Put others first. If the pain has a name, let it be mine."
He continued, reflecting on his journey. "If the danger has a target, let it be me. My blood on the ground is better than another's." His jaw clenched.
Then, his eyebrows knitted together, pain flashing in his eyes. "And I pushed you away...because it was the only thing I had left. Yves...he said I led him to the city of truth. I was the reason he found us."
His eyes prickled as his vision became glassy.
"I don't want anything to happen to you again. I went against 'destiny'. I went against you, and your words still replay in my mind. I thought I could prepare myself to accept them, that you hated me. But I couldn't. I can't..."
The words clawed at his throat, but they came, "I can't accept that if I never met you, then none of this would have ever happened."
His hands fell from hers, retreating to press against his temples. His posture, which had always been so straight, slumped under the weight. The shield against the pain he gripped so tightly began to slip.
"You... all of you... gave me a home. A reason. And I took it, I broke it. I'm sorry, Leiya. I'm so sorry for everything."
The apology was repeated continuously. Then, his shield broke, a tear dropped to the floor, and then another. Burning tears were falling from his eyes, and Xerxes' was crumbling.
Then, her hands were on him again.
Not gripping, punching, but soothing. She pulled his head gently to her chest, her chin resting on his hair.
Her fingers stroked through the streaks of lilac, slow and steady. She didn't shush him; she simply let him expel everything he needed to.
A soft smile touched her lips, even as a few of her own tears escaped. She hadn't gotten exactly what she wanted, but it was okay.
She couldn't change Xerxes entirely. You couldn't change someone so resolute as Xerxes.
His cracks were part of his strength and his weakness. But she had done something far more important. She had forced the honesty out, like drawing poison from a wound, instead of letting it set.
He had given her his fear. For Leiya, that was something she treasured. It was everything to her.
And that was something Leiya needed to learn: not to hold all the pain in, because pain could do two things.
One scenario was making you slump into it, drowned in sorrow and regret, just like she was in the church.
The other was this. Voicing, accepting and surviving with it. That way, the pain could push them both forward.
He was family. Her family. And if he wanted to still be a stubborn self-sacrificing idiot who didn't know how to ask for help.
'Well, it's a long shot from being fine, but it's a start, damned fool.'
They'd figure it out. She was sure problems would still occur in the future, but for now, this was enough.
She bent her head, her whisper soft in the quiet.
"I'm sorry too, Xerxes."