I was shocked by the number of people up here. Jordan didn't give me the chance to look around. I was hoping I could find that man again. Then again, that's not why we were here. Again, that pit in my stomach pulled me down. Burning anxiety scratched at my throat.
"I have you," Jordan whispered in my hair. That helped me relax as we reached Joel's private office.
Jordan knocks twice before entering. As I walk in behind Jordan, I notice Joel has stopped what he is doing and is tracking my every movement. Jordan leads me over to the couch in the corner of the room, and I sit down. Takeout containers are all over the table in the middle. Judging by the smell, it was fresh. I must have interrupted their late-night meal.
"I'm sorry…" I mumbled out.
"For what?" Jordan asks as he sits next to me.
"Clearly, I interrupted something by the looks of these containers," I responded, as I began to feel more and more anxious the longer I was here.
"Don't worry about it." Joel hands me my favorite soda, root beer. I drink some. It helps me relax a little. I smile a little mentally because it isn't just any root beer; it is my favorite brand. I could be a real snob when it comes to root beer.
"Thank you," I smiled at them, feeling a bit more at ease. Joel is across from me in one of the plush chairs. Jordan was next to me on the couch, leaning back with a hand on my thigh. No one said anything for a long time. The guys just sat quietly waiting to hear what I needed to say. They are very protective of me and might push me a little when it comes to my safety, but they were patient with this. I love them for that.
"So…. Around three and a half to four years ago, a few months before I turned 17, I met Chad at a party; some of my old friends invited me. It was fun; at some point, Chad came over to me and started talking to me. He was very persistent in getting to know me because I was so beautiful. I should have known then something wasn't right." I noticed that when I said that, both the Holloway brothers' bodies stiffened when I said. Other than that, they did their best to be relaxed, so I continued.
"Needless to say, he sweet-talked me into trusting him. I confided in him a lot. I told him all sorts of secrets and fears. I even sent him suggestive pictures, nothing nude… just ones I wouldn't want family to see." I looked down at my feet. I can't believe how stupid I was back then. I wanted to hide within myself. No one said anything still. I felt Jordan shift and move me closer to him. He began to rub my back. Joel moved to sit on the edge of the table. He put one hand on my leg, his thumb rubbing comforting circles. They must have read m body language and moved closer to me so they could comfort me. Well, they were right, and it was working, so I pressed on.
"So, the weekend before my birthday, he told me he wanted to surprise me. Give me something special for my birthday. Something I would never forget. Well, he was right about that…." Still, no one said anything. I took a deep breath and another sip of my favorite root beer, trying to calm my building anxiety.
"He took me to his family's cabin in the woods. He had my favorite foods and drinks. He did everything he could to make me feel special, and it worked. I thought I was special to him and that he loved me." Shame in how naive I was burned in me.
"When he told me he loved me, that was it. I decided then was the perfect time to give him… well… all of me…" I looked up from my feet, expecting to hear any condemning comments or looks of disgust, but nothing was said. I couldn't meet their eyes, but their body language suggested they only cared as they kept comforting me. So I moved on to the more hurtful part of what happened.
"As soon as he finished, he quickly pushed away from me and rushed to get dressed…" I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I did my best to get the rest out as clear as possible.
"I was confused; I watched him get his underwear on and pick up his phone. It was like the mask of the first person I loved just fell off." I started to sob, Jordan pulled me into his lap, and held me. I buried my face into Jordan's chest. I felt Joel move to where I was sitting and rub my back.
"It's okay. We have you, and you're safe," Joel said so gently that it hurt. After a few minutes of the Holloway brothers comforting me, Jordan held me as he leaned his head on top of mine, humming a soothing tune. Joel stayed next to my back, rubbing my back and arms in a soothing motion. I settled enough to get the rest out.
"Well... needless to say, he called his buddy to let him know he won the bet of getting to sleep with me before my birthday... He didn't even button his pants on... I sat there naked and vulnerable… He tossed my clothes at me and yelled for me to get out. I didn't fully understand what happened until later." I paused. Taking a few more deep breaths, taking in Jordan's mossy and damp forest smell. It was like what the woods smelled like after an intense rainfall.
"Apparently, as soon as he put me in the cab, he began sharing pictures of me that I sent him when we were dating; he even sent screenshots of things I shared with him privately. My fears, insecurities, and secrets.... I lost all my friends besides Jess because of him. I was bullied so badly I thought about ending it... Jess stopped me... She made me call her every night until I fell asleep because she wanted to make sure I was going to be okay.... If it wasn't for Jess... I probably wouldn't be here..." I tell them honestly.
"Well... That is it... The only thing left is I don't know if he still has those pictures... I hope not... But if he does, he can use them to possibly ruin your family's reputation. It would kill me if anything happened because of my stupid choices."
Strong hands grabbed me, turning me, and gently lifting my chin to meet their gaze.
"Nothing will happen." Joel's Fierce gaze pinned me to the spot. I knew I should trust what he said, but I haven't trusted anyone, not fully, since Chad. I knew I should; something in my bones told me I could always trust the Holloways, but the small voice telling me they were lying was still there.