It was raining—
not softly, not gently—
but the kind of rain that feels like the sky is trying to say something you're too scared to understand.
I've always loved the rain.
And the darkness.
Maybe because both make it easier to hide the things I never say out loud.
Or maybe because, in moments like that, I can finally feel something without knowing what it is.
I've never really understood what kind of person I am.
A contradiction, definitely.
Someone who wants to feel everything and nothing at the same time.
I don't even know how to start this, but…
back then, something in me was reaching for a feeling I thought I had already lost.
Or maybe a memory I wanted to bury.
I honestly didn't know.
All I knew was that it hurt in a quiet, confusing way—
like a bruise you don't remember getting.
It all began like a song,
the kind that changes the atmosphere in your mind the moment it starts,
and leaves you strangely empty the second it stops.
Anyway—
I love maths.
Yeah, maths.
Comfortable, predictable, safe.
Maybe that's why I clung to it without knowing.
That day, Helen and I were sitting in class,
talking nonsense the way two people do when they understand each other without trying.
She was still new, still carrying that unfamiliar look in her eyes.
People always said I had a bright personality, that I made friends easily,
and back then I believed them—
so of course she ended up next to me.
"Selena… his perfume… oh my god—"
she whispered, fighting a laugh.
That's when I looked up.
And everything paused for a second.
He walked in wearing a black t-shirt—
late, unapologetically late—
raindrops still clinging to his hair like he'd fought the whole storm to get here.
There was something about him that didn't match the room.
Like he was carrying a world no one else could see.
He didn't look at me.
Not then.
But something in the air shifted—
subtle, sharp, impossible to ignore.
I didn't know it at the time,
but that was the moment my story changed.
The moment he became the beginning.