'Huh? Where… Where am I…?'
Looking around, all Vlad could see was darkness.
The last thing he remembered was being rejected by his dream girl for being "too big", causing him to pull an all-nighter playing Dark Souls 3 and binge-watching Reincarnated as a Slime. Then, at some point, he started to feel sleepy. After which, something… strange occurred.
'Am I going crazy… or did I actually see a white truck crash through my 4th floor apartment room, coming straight at me??'
'No, more importantly, what happened after that?? And why am I here!?'
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recall anything else – so he simply stopped trying.
For the him of right now, his current situation was far more pressing.
'Let's start with my body… Wait, what the hell?!'
Vlad scanned himself, immediately noticing something very unusual.
For starters, he didn't have arms!
Or legs!
Or anything else that a normal human should have!
'It can't be…'
A daunting realization formed.
'I… I'm not a human, am I?'
But then, what was he??
With no way to figure out the truth right now, Vlad decided to set the topic aside for later. Then, with a perceptive gaze, he…
'My sight… damn it.'
He didn't know whether it was because of the darkness or something else, but he couldn't see properly. His best guess was that he might just need some more time to adjust to his new vision.
Suddenly, a nasty squelching sound was heard. It started out barely audible, but quickly became louder and louder – until eventually, Vlad's "ears" felt like they were about to burst.
'W-What the hell is going on now!?'
His shouting fell on deaf ears – and in the very next instant, the space around him started violently shaking.
It felt like the end of the world!
'F-F-Fu-Fuuc-c-c…k-kk!!!'
Vlad's head was rattled like none other, his thoughts unintelligible even to himself. The pain was unbearable, and even death began to sound like a luxury.
However, no sooner had the thought of suicide formed had the world stopped its violent shaking and spinning.
"Is it… Is it finally over…?"
Vlad was about to breathe a sigh of relief when, out of nowhere, and like the most natural climax to this grand play, the sound of water splashing echoed. Light shone through – an entire world opening up before him – but he was anything but happy, because…
Because he realized where he had just been trapped.
'Kill me now…'
As Vlad's indignant thoughts were flushed away along with him, panting grunts came from a cultivator squatting on a toilet. The cultivator's grunts were followed by a few final plops, and with an expression of contentment, the robed man adjusted himself and left the bathroom.