The cursed mirror rattled louder.
Dust fell from the cave ceiling.
Gold coins trembled like they were trying to escape.
Ace's fur stood straight up.
The dragon curled behind him like a terrified 5-ton golden puppy.
"I-I don't like that mirror… It always insults my hoarding style…"
The mirror cackled.
"BECAUSE YOUR STYLE IS TRASH! CHAOTIC! UNBALANCED! A CRIME AGAINST INTERIOR DESIGN!"
Ace blinked.
"…excuse me—that's my job to say."
Ravenna stepped forward calmly, tapping her consultation scroll.
"We are dealing with a Level 4 Sentient Critic Artifact."
Milo gasped.
"The most dangerous kind!"
Sir Bramble added dramatically,
"They destroy confidence with WORDS."
The mirror flared with dark purple light.
It shot a beam at Ace.
A beam of criticism.
"YOU HAVE ZERO AESTHETIC SENSE!" it screeched.
Ace dodged—barely.
The criticism beam hit a pile of gold coins.
The coins instantly reorganized themselves into a hideous modern-art sculpture.
Milo screamed.
"It's making the hoard uglier!!"
Ace hissed.
"Oh THAT'S IT."
He lunged forward.
---
BOSS FIGHT: Mirror of Terrible Taste
HP: Annoying
Weakness: Being roasted harder than it roasts others
Strength: Insults so sharp they reduce morale by 30%
---
The mirror fired again.
"YOUR COLOR PALETTE IS INCONSISTENT!"
Ace countered—
"No, your entire existence is inconsistent! You're a bathroom accessory pretending to be a threat!"
The cave shook.
Ravenna widened her eyes.
"He landed a critical HIT!"
The mirror shrieked.
"How dare you—!"
Ace leaped onto a pile of treasure, glaring.
"You call yourself 'Cursed Mirror of Eternal Critique' but you look like something someone stole from a bargain bazaar clearance sale!"
Sir Bramble whispered,
"HE'S TOO POWERFUL… WITH WORDS."
The mirror screeched louder, firing a rapid barrage:
"YOUR THREADWORK IS CROOKED!"
"YOUR STITCHES ARE UNEVEN!"
"YOUR TAIL LOOKS PATCHY!"
Ace, offended on a spiritual level, dodged everything.
"Patchy?! THIS IS PREMIUM FUR, YOU GLASS PANCAKE!"
The dragon sniffled behind him.
"Ace… be careful… he's so mean…"
The mirror cackled.
"I WILL DESTROY YOUR CONFIDENCE!"
Ace's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Oh yeah? Watch me destroy YOUR entire personality."
He took a dramatic step forward.
His voice dropped to cold, merciless roasting mode.
"You're not cursed. You're just jealous. Every adventurer who looked into you realized you were UGLY, and decided NOT to take you as loot."
The mirror trembled violently.
Ace continued, crushing its spirit like a fashion critic on caffeine.
"No one cursed you. You cursed YOURSELF."
The cave went silent.
The mirror screeched in existential pain.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And then—
CRAAAAACKKK!
The mirror shattered.
Bursting into sparkling dust.
Milo's jaw dropped.
"H-he… he won by insulting it to death…"
Sir Bramble whispered,
"That was the most savage thing I've ever seen…"
The dragon emerged from behind a pile of gold, trembling.
"You… defeated my scariest artifact…"
He bowed deeply.
"You are the bravest cat I have ever met."
Ace lifted his chin proudly.
"Yeah. Nobody out-roasts me."
Ravenna clapped her wings professionally.
"Good work, team. Now let's continue the treasure audit."
Ace's eye twitched.
"You're still making me work during a victory moment?!"
But no time for peace.
A huge rumble shook the cave.
Milo squeaked,
"Oh no—another enemy?!"
The dragon gasped.
"No… that sound… that's…"
A small treasure chest hopped out.
Tiny legs. Angry eyes.
It growled.
Ravenna checked her scroll.
"Ah yes… the Mimic Intern."
Ace blinked.
"…the WHAT?"
The dragon sighed.
"He's very enthusiastic… but he eats everything."
The mimic opened its mouth…
And lunged straight at Ace's tail.