Since the Dursleys' house was not far away, Harry and Hagrid chose to keep things simple, skipping hot chocolate as well as towels and toothbrushes.
The Knight Bus was unbelievably fast, far quicker than any Muggle means of transportation. Every obstacle in its path seemed to move aside on its own, making the journey both safe and unmistakably magical.
In less than twenty minutes, Harry arrived at the Dursleys' house.
"I won't go in with you," Hagrid said. "I have to head back and report to Dumbledore."
"That's all right, Hagrid," Harry replied, one hand resting on Hedwig's cage. "Have a good trip. I'll see you at Hogwarts."
"I'll see you at Hogwarts," Hagrid said with a smile, waving to Harry.
In the blink of an eye, the Knight Bus disappeared from sight.
It was still light outside. London lies at a high latitude, and in July it did not grow fully dark until nearly half past seven.
The Dursleys were awake as well. After everything that had happened that day, Petunia and Vernon had been arguing about what to do now that Harry was gone, completely ignoring Dudley's attempts to draw attention to himself by wandering around in his Smeltings uniform.
Bored, Dudley sat down near the front door. When Harry suddenly appeared, Dudley's chubby face twisted immediately with malice.
Whenever he was in a bad mood, Dudley used Harry as a convenient outlet for his frustrations, tormenting him without mercy.
Now that his punching bag had returned, Dudley felt it necessary to give him a proper lesson.
He seemed to have completely forgotten everything that had happened earlier that day.
"Hey, Dudley," Harry said calmly, unfazed by Dudley's threatening approach. "Could you help me carry these things inside?"
"Oh yeah? Really?" Dudley rubbed his hands together eagerly. "And what if I say no?"
"You won't," Harry said confidently, pointing at Dudley's back. "Unless you want that pig's tail to disappear. By the way, has anyone ever told you that you look like a pig wearing a wig?"
Harry then remembered that this was a nickname he had once given Dudley long before the Victorian era.
Because he truly did look like one.
Dudley reached behind him and froze in horror when his fingers brushed against a pig's tail growing from his backside.
"Harry Potter!" Dudley shouted. His face turned purple, much like his father's often did.
Humiliated, he lunged at Harry.
Harry drew his wand and cast a small jinx.
"What did you do to me?!" Dudley screamed in terror as his body began to dance uncontrollably.
He wanted to stop, but he couldn't.
"Tarantella. A simple little spell," Harry said, admiring Dudley's frantic movements while holding Hedwig's cage steady with his other arm. "Hedwig, if you've never seen a pig dance before, you're in for a treat."
"Gurgle, ooh," Hedwig replied with two soft hoots.
"Make it stop!" Dudley screamed in panic. "Dad! Mum! Help me! Please!"
His cries worked. The Dursleys, who had been arguing inside, heard their son's screams and rushed out of the house.
"My poor baby!" Aunt Petunia cried, running forward to embrace Dudley.
However, her frail body was no match for him, and he continued dancing on his own.
Meanwhile, Uncle Vernon charged at Harry, his face flushed purple as he glared at him furiously.
"What have you done to my son?!"
"Helping him lose weight," Harry replied indifferently, shrugging.
Uncle Vernon's small eyes narrowed as he pointed at Harry, ready to unleash a barrage of insults.
Just as Harry was considering whether to cast another spell, he noticed Vernon suddenly glance around, then visibly relax.
Was he checking to see if Hagrid was still there? Harry wondered.
He was mistaken.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Uncle Vernon barked. "Stop it at once and come inside!"
"And my luggage?" Harry asked, gesturing toward the many bags beside him.
"I'll carry it for you!" Uncle Vernon snapped.
"Thank you, Uncle Vernon," Harry said politely.
He bowed in an exaggeratedly courteous manner, flicked a finger toward Dudley, and Dudley immediately stopped moving. The pig's tail vanished as well.
Uncle Vernon looked as though he had swallowed a mouthful of flies. He shot Harry a furious glare, grabbed the largest and heaviest suitcase, and hurried into the house without looking back, as if fleeing from a deadly disease.
As Dudley moved to follow him, Harry added, "Dudley, could you help me carry this package inside?"
The package wasn't large, but Harry took quiet pleasure in giving Dudley orders.
Dudley sniffled, shuffled over reluctantly, and picked it up.
Upon entering the house, Harry instinctively headed toward the cupboard under the stairs, but Uncle Vernon suddenly said, "Your room is upstairs. Your aunt and I decided you're too old for the cupboard now, so Dudley's second bedroom will be yours from now on."
"Why?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Don't ask why!" Uncle Vernon growled.
Harry remembered that room well. Heaven knew how often he had wished to live there. It had been meant as Dudley's bedroom, though in reality it was little more than a storage room filled with things Dudley didn't want.
At this announcement, Dudley froze.
"No! That's my room!" he wailed loudly. "I don't want him in there! Dad! Mum! Make him leave! He can't stay in my room!"
"Do you want to keep dancing, Dudley?" Aunt Petunia said quietly, her voice sharp and cold.
It was the first time Harry had ever heard her speak to Dudley in such a harsh tone.
"Listen here, boy," Uncle Vernon said, grabbing Harry by the collar and pulling him close. "I don't care what tricks you've learned, and I don't expect gratitude from you or your aunt for raising you all these years. All I want is for you to make sure the neighbors never find out there's a freak living in this house when you're doing your tricks. Do you understand?"
Harry understood perfectly.
That was what Uncle Vernon feared.
The neighbors discovering there was a freak in the house.
"One thousand pounds," Harry said calmly.
Uncle Vernon inhaled sharply.
"Five hundred."
"Deal." Harry extended his hand.
Uncle Vernon released Harry's collar, stared at him for a long moment, then shook his hand firmly, sealing the agreement.
"I expect you to keep your word," Vernon said.
Seeing this, Dudley chimed in as well. "If you want me out of the room, I want a thousand pounds too!"
Uncle Vernon suddenly felt very tired.
"Five hundred pounds," he said flatly.
Dudley looked at Harry.
"Half more," Harry said.
Dudley nodded and turned back to Vernon. "Two hundred and fifty."
"Deal!" Uncle Vernon exclaimed, afraid to hesitate any longer.
Harry sighed and rubbed his forehead.
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