There was something in the water.
Otherwise, there was no way things would have turned out like this.
From the perfect start, discovering that I was literally a cut above the rest, to this literal rag tag group of suvivors…
I was on a roll!
Grabbing the outstretched hand, I was yanked into the van like a sack of potatoes, tumbling into the spacious trunk as the dim lights illuminated its interior.
"Hey, since when did we start taking stow aways!?" A gruff voice rudely asked.
"Since we picked your prickly but up from the Seven Eleven," My saviour snarked, blasting a zed in the kneecaps. "Besides, you see the stuff he's got on him? Gotta be one of those doomsday preppers or some."
With an appearance like that, you could call me anything…
"Merow." Nugget agreed with my thoughts, rubbing his cheek with mine.
"See, even the cat agrees it was a good idea." Crouching down, she scratched the cat's neck, before glancing towards me. "So, stranger, how's the apocalypse so far?"
"Traumatizing," The asshole scoffed, while the driver of the group seemed to chuckle. All the while my saviour just nodded. "But, I'm pretty sure I'll manage. What is this stuff anyway?"
"Nobody knows." The driver piped up, taking his eyes off the road to look at the back. "Far as anyone knows, it was something in the water. Then, everything turn to- SHIT!"
The vehicle swerved, narrowly missing an abandoned cop car.
"As Tucker was saying," The lady resumed, "It's up to anyone's guess as to what's happening. But our best bet of making it out of here is at the military checkpoint at the border of Knox."
"You mean, the only way out," The standoffish voice resumed, "Bastards' been preparing for the outbreak for a long time now. And when the world's gone to shit, they start firing normal folks down left and right."
Well, at least it painted a clearer picture.
If the Military was killing people on the street, then that meant our escape would be anything but easy going.
Bringing the idea up to the group, they all had come to the same conclusion at some point.
Realistically however, chances were slim of surviving long enough for the virus to blow over if they stayed.
Their best bet was to find salvation elsewhere.
Preferably somewhere out of this universe, but that was just me.
"Then, if I'm going to be a part of this group, I might as well introduce myself," I cleared my throat, making sure everything was perfect for my grand entrance. "My name is Donald Sanchez, but my friends call me Don."
An accent here, a little bit of projection there…. And extra confidence to make my words really pop.
I was a fraud, but I was trying to become legitimate here!
"And this little rapscallion here," I pointed to the cat still stubbornly on my shoulder, "-Is Nugget. My cat for all of two hours."
"Well, Don, Nugget, it's great to meet you both." My saviour cooed at my cat's name, Nugget brushing his fluffy head against her knee.
"Well, at least we get to have some emergency food with you lot around," The asshat in the back scoffed, as though breathing the same air as him was a crime.
"Ham it, Rick! Kid's getting tired of your whole negative Nancy act," Tucker, the driver of the group demanded, pressing on the horn as a horde blocked the path. "Cut him some slack, would you?"
"Tsk, and you think the world's going to be just as nice just because we asked?" Resident Asshole Rick fired back, kicking the seat in front of him as he braced. "Besides, we might as well kill the notion of returning to normal life while we can."
"This isn't the story of how we escape, this is just the tale of how we die."
Dark. Pitch. Edgy…
A tickle made it way up my spine, but one that was short lived, as my face met the back of the front seat, as we dozed through several bodies.
"Hehe, sorry kid. There's just swarms of these infected out on the road. Nothing we can do about it." Sighed Tucker.
"But we can make the path smoother but trying to clear out those that we can," A pat on the shoulder found me back on the floor of the van, once more facing my saviour.
"Guess we haven't formally introduced ourselves yet. This is Tucker, he owns the van, and our designated driver. That sour puss in the back is Rick, he might be a bit prickly, but he's reliable where it count."
"A complete ass is what he is," Tucker grumbled, taking a swig of something from the cup holder.
"Again, where it counts," She tried to reassure, but the strained expression on her face said otherwise. "Last but not least, I'm Grace, the… uhhh, Jack of all Trades in the group?"
The less than confident shrug was all the elaboration that train of thought got. But the smile on her face was still as bright as ever.
So, then, Don, anything you're good at, maybe some special talent you've been keeping secret?"
It was my time to shine. They were going to be surprised with this one.
"Well, I can't really say I'm any special. All I got is my luck, and my weapons. Nothing to write home about."
An uncomfortable silence hung around the van. Probably too uncomfortable.
"Damn, he really is dead weight…" Rick marveled like he was seeing a unicorn.
"Shut up, ass." Grace grumbled, helping me up to a seat as she sat beside me. "Besides, the worth or use of a person is not just in their skills, but in their humanity."
"While that is heartwarming," I crookedly smiled, propping the gun up on my side, "The guy still has a point. I probably would not have lasted long without you guys."
"And for that, I thank you for picking me up when you did."
"Then, Don, you're going to be showing your worth pretty soon," Tucker announced, the van skidding to a halt.
"Traffic jam up ahead. There's a path cutting through, but it's going to take a while. We'll be needing some support from outside."
Sure enough, a glance outside confirmed what he said.
As far as the eye could see, cars littered the road. Making it difficult to traverse, and impossible to maneuver around due to being flanked by trees on both sides.
"You heard the man," Grace stood, opening the car's sliding door. "It's show time!"
Rick grimaced. But with little option, obliged, dragging a hunting rifle out with him.
"You stay here, Nugget. I'll be right back." I cooed at my mascot, bidding her farewell as I followed suit.
The engine roared to life as we exited, catching the attention of more than a few zeds.
"Heads up, we got company!" Rick yelled, picking off what he could from afar.
But while he might have gotten a few off our back, that only called others who heard the gunshots.
"Here they come!" I warned, taking out a couple of zombies, but not enough to make a difference when twenty bodies came barrelling towards us.
"We have to thin them out!" Rick pointed out the obvious.
"Just keep firing!" Grace replied, reloading after missing her last shot.
"I got it from here, make sure Tucker doesn't get into any trouble on his end,"
Living five years in Terraria world had honed me for this. I might have been a fraud for a majority of that time.
But I still put in the work, damn it.
The world narrowed down to what was in front of me. All distractions disappearing from my mind as there was now only me and those that were against me.
'You have no potions, there is no cure' I reminded myself, taking a shaky breath. 'You aren't fighting for yourself anymore. You need to be a hero.'
Kicking off the ground, each stride took me farther and farther, until I came close to the growing horde.
I could buy minutes. More than enough to make sure the van can get out.
Firing a volley, two or three zombies fell as their knee caps were blown off, causing the swarm to roll onto their face.
Killing them would take too much time. I just needed to slow them down.
Shoot after shot rang out, as I pressed the offensive against them. Heart beating in my ears as worry spurred from within me.
I needed to make sure they were ok-
My thoughts were interrupted, as a hand came dangerously close from my flank. Only saved as a shot from behind me took it down.
Lock in, Don!
A group of five came forward, tripping over themselves to get to me. Their stiff legs were the only things hold them up. As their ankles had torn from my efforts.
How much punishment would they take before going down?
Dismissing the though, I shot at the group, only to hear a click from my gun.
Empty, I should have kept better count.
My knife lashed out, playing keep away from the zombies.
But I knew it wouldn't be enough.
More and more were being attacted by the gunshots, and my knife didn't have enough range!
Rolling back, I sheathed my knife once more, looking at the street for anything I could use.
Finding something that might as well have been placed there by god.
A crowbar, covered slick with blood, layed on the ground next to a broken down car. It occupants clawing at their seats to get out.
Luckily, they didn't need it anymore.
Reaching towards it, the weapon in my hands felt like it was meant to be there.
It felt familiar, with the same length of the sword i used in Terarria world. It felt easy enough to wield, and was quick enough to swing.
Time to test it out on the dead!
Zombie one was an eager volunteer, sprinting towards me with everything he had.
Unfortunately, it made his fate much more grim when I swing my weapon at his face.
His face caved in, body flying, as it spun a full circle in the air.
Yeah, we were back in business!
"Another one bites the dust."
Crunch!
Skwelch!
Pop!
"Another one bites the dust!" I swung on the beat, taking down three more for the count.
The zombies were like locusts, never ending in their attempts to get me.
But unfortunately, I was more than familiar with swinging something around for days on end.
They never stood a chance.
"Don, the van's in the clear!" A voice broke me from my musings. It was grace, waving for me to return.
"Got it-!" Only for the highway to rumble.
It was like a natural disaster.
Cars flipped and turned, zombies were crushed underfoot.
A giant of a zombie, a hulking brute.
Rushing to Grace's side, the beast revealed itself.
A towering mass of muscle, it had eyes growing from its massive shoulders, as it hunched over on its even bigger arms like a gorilla. Its legs dangling uselessly off the ground.
My brows furrowed, not only because it came out of nowhere, but also because what the fuck was the G-virus doing here?
Resident Evil never had any sprinters… or at least, as far as I knew from the games, the movies were something else entirely…
Did that mean I was in a simulation?
Shaking my head, I smacked the side of my temples.
"Pick up our jaw from the floor," I needed to do something. Hero time! "Provide suppressive fire, I'll buy us enough time."
The van roared in affirmation, Tucker staring back at me with a determined look.
All while Grace gave a pensive expression, and Rick silently held his rifle.
Leaving the rest of my equipment on the floor, I entered the fight.
Ten feet of nothing but violence. Steroids gone overboard.
I wasn't dealing with any ordinary zombie virus. Of course, if the normals were acting like mobs, there had to be special infected…
What else was out there-
"Raghhh!!!" The monster roared, its movements growing faster as it locked eyes with me.
Of course, I couldn't only oblige.
"Ragh!!!" I returned heroically, repositioning myself to the other side of the highway.
It wasn't running away, if anyone were to ask, I would not have the history books mention me running away!
Although, it didn't really matter much when the thing plowed through every obstacle in its way, crumpling cars and zombies like they were paper in its arms.
It was like a… a "Taaaank!"
A fist came towards me, flying towards me more like a pistol round than any punch!
My body moved on autopilot, just barely able to move out of the way with a leap back.
A tactical retreat!
But how was it so fast-
PSHHHH!
A jet stream of pressurized blood shot from its elbow, moving mass like it was nothing, and doing more damage to itself than it would have done to me.
A sideway roll found me discovering its secret. Peeking behind the curtain.
The tank moved like a gorilla, using its arms primarily to move, while its legs were more like accessory organs at this stage of the infection.
However, there was a point in its movement where it shot these jets of blood, a sway in the hips that launched it back at speeds faster than the eye!
If I could just make sure to block the vents, then maybe I would be able to clear the tank with little difficulty.
But the eyes presented another issue.
They reacted to everything I did. Moving to the left, the body quickly tracked my position.
Slipping between the legs? It used its back, along side the vents to turn in an instant.
Ever tried to get out of range?
The vents on its back would propel it like it had a dash skill on fucking cooldown.
"What monstrocity birthed you!"
Absurdity in every fiber of its core.
But fuck it. I was THE HERO to beat all heroes.
There was no way I was losing to a zombie of all th-
Sweeping, the jet screamed like an angry paint gun. A massive arm swinging out like the wrathful hand of God!
I was knocked against the guard rails, the air in my lungs vacating like I had just raised rent!
It hit just like a tank! Breathing was getting harder with each breath, and I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with my body
Do anything that you can… Just don't despair!
I was not dying to a hulking zombie!
Bang! Bang!
Shots rang out, distracting the tank for just a moment, before it returned its sights back to me.
Thankfully, it was the precious seconds I needed to make a move.
Pulling on every fiber of my being, I stood back up. I pushed my body to its very limits, getting the fuck out of dodge as I ran past it.
Faster than I ever had in my life, I ran towards the van, both Grace and Rick holding out their arms.
Grabbing onto both, they pulled me, the dark comfort of the vehicle providing me with more comfort than I thought was possible.
"Step on it Tucker!"
"Cheese it, you greasy fuck!"
"Don't have to tell me twice!"
Grace and Rick were quick to shout, as the van peeled away like a bat out of hell, swerving clear of the monstrosity.
I barely made it out of there alive.
…
Nobody was ever going to hear of this if I had any say in it.
I didn't run, I made a tactical retreat.