"Our brother," Goku said firmly.
"Besides," Piccolo stated, glancing down at Yamcha, "it's not like he's going to be gone for long."
The others started at that before they began to talk over each other, asking what he meant by that.
"The Dragon Balls," he said slowly, wondering how they could be this stupid.
"Maybe we should… hold off talking about this?" Tien suggested, glancing as Kayos and Isco.
That made Piccolo scoff. "We're not going to be able to hide it from him. What, you'll just claim Yamcha was sleeping?"
"Well now we can't!" Bulma yelled.
Kayos, for his part, raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm not an idiot, Bulma."
"I upgraded his standing when he got you to pay us in advance," Isco chirped.
"Not helping," he muttered before adding in a louder voice, "And before you freak out I know about the Dragon Balls."
"You do!?" Everyone cried out only to instantly go silent when Goku's son let out a murmur in his sleep. "You do?" they repeated, much softer.
"It wasn't that hard. Legend about seven mystical artifacts, a giant dragon reported in the sky, the fact that three of you should be dead but are walking around…" He leveled a cool stare their way. "You aren't as secretive as you think. Honestly its only because everyone else is so focused on other things that you don't have petitioners lined up at Capsule Corp asking for a chance to make a wish."
"Great, the poisoner knows about the Dragon Balls," Krillin complained and Piccolo leaned back a bit, wondering what the story was behind THAT comment. Kayos had proven to be far more underhanded than Goku's friends but poison? The human was growing more and more interesting. "Probably thinking you can steal a wish?"
"First off if I tried I'm sure each one of you could bury me in the ground with just your fists and I'm including Bulma in that count. Second what would I wish for?"
"Immortality?" Chiaotzu suggested but that only made Kayos laugh. "What?"
"Immortality is a HORRIBLE wish to make!" He continued to snicker. "Making yourself immortal means you just can't die."
"Right…" Tien said slowly, staring at Kayos. "That's why it's the ultimate wish. You can't die."
"Can't die… it doesn't make you eternally young." Everyone blinked at that and even Piccolo was a touch confused by his comment. "Immortal… to not die. It doesn't mean you are frozen in time or remain at your peak. It just means… you keep going." He shrugged. "You'd need to wish to never grow old for that. Eternal Youth. Otherwise immortality all on its own? You just keep aging more and more… imagine that."
Piccolo suddenly had the image of himself looking just like Kami appear in his head and he shuddered at that. Worse, the image didn't go away but rather he continued to become more and more of a husk. Limbs withering, muscles fading away, back slouched and spine twisted as the weight of the years pressed down on him. From the way the others were grimacing they too were thinking of themselves being very old and wrinkled and weak. Krillin in particular glanced at Roshi which caused the old man to begin yelling at him.
Once they had all settled down Kayos continued, clearly delighting in taking their notion of the ultimate wish and stomping on it until it was left in utter ruins. "So you wish for eternal youth instead? Or wait a year and wish for that, right? Think you are flying high and mighty, right? You can't die and you won't age to become a walking skeleton. Perfect, right?"
"…yeah!" Goku said. "Uh, not that I'd wish for that but… yeah. You are young and can't die!"
Kayos flashed a not-nice smile. "Then while you are sleeping I cut off your head."
"You… you can't do that though," Tien got out.
"Why not? The wish makes you immortal… it doesn't mean that you I can't hurt you. That would require you wishing to be indestructible. So I cut off your head and it keeps living. And then I throw it in a safe and sink it to the bottom of the ocean. You are left alive, all by yourself in the dark… forever." He clapped his hands together, causing them all to jump. "Such a wonderful wish. And that's if I decide to be lazy. I could just remove your arms and legs or paralyze you from the neck down and then torture you every day because immortality means you still feel pain. Just a little blob that can only twitch and scream as I slowly toy with your nerve endings…"
Piccolo wondered how he would have reacted to having his greatest desire torn to shreds if he were still King Piccolo. 'Probably rage and try and deny what Kayos was saying even as he felt the weight of the truth pressing down on him,' he thought. 'And then ask him for some tips on slaughtering my enemies.'
Krillin stared at him in horror. "…who thinks like that?"
"Someone who can't benchpress this house," Kayos replied coldly. "That's the problem with you guys… you are very strong and powerful but you forgot what its like to be completely desperate. Because desperation forces you to get VERY creative."
Goku began to tick off the points. "So… we'd have to wish for industrctablity first. Then immortality. Then eternal youth."
It was Piccolo though who answered. "Except that would take three years and a lot could happen first. Someone could trick you… send you to the Dead Zone or trap you in the center of the earth."
Kayos pointed at Piccolo. "Give the Namekian a kewpie doll. That's the problem with wishes like that… you have to be VERY careful and think over all the outcomes. And that's assuming whoever is granting the wish isn't a massive dick. There is a reason why the d'jinn were feared. If Shenron were to be in a bad mood he could easily make you indestructible… but also that every one of your nerve endings felt pain. Give you eternal youth but only if you suck it from everyone else. Immortality but you can't move your body because he turned you to stone." He shrugged. "So no, I'm not going to be wishing for immortality. And I won't be stealing a wish." He looked down at Yamcha and the humor left him. "Not when it can be used for this."