The moment they were safely out of earshot from the classroom, Kuroha Akira decided to come clean with the class president.
"Class monitor, I should be honest with you—I'm not actually feeling unwell. I just really need to catch up on some sleep. You don't have to accompany me."
Asato Hitomi responded by poking his cheek with her finger, her expression somewhere between amused and scolding.
"Kuroha-kun, don't underestimate sleep deprivation. If you push your body too hard, you might suddenly die, you know?"
"Uh..."
Kuroha Akira, who had quite literally experienced sudden death in his previous life, found himself momentarily at a loss for words.
He'd made that exact mistake before—assuming his body could handle anything because it had in the past. In college, he and his friends would stay up gaming for two days straight with no apparent issues. So when he started working, he'd continued pushing himself, not realizing that aging didn't always show on the surface. It crept up internally, silently eroding the body's ability to recover from overexertion.
Lesson learned. The hard way.
"Alright..." He conceded the point. "But class monitor, is it really okay for you to skip class? There must be plenty of people eyeing your top student position."
"Missing a few classes won't affect me." She waved off his concern with casual confidence. "I've already previewed all the teaching material. Class is essentially review at this point."
Listen to that. This was what it sounded like when a true top student spoke. Annoying, wasn't it?
Kuroha Akira understood the mechanics of academic decline—miss a few classes, zone out during others, fall behind the teaching pace, lose the thread completely, gradually lose interest, and spiral into a vicious cycle. It happened to countless students.
But the class monitor was different. She was the most talented person Kuroha Akira had ever met—someone who maximized her abilities to their fullest potential. Looking at her now, he felt almost guilty that replicating her talent only gave him sustained concentration and mental agility. Such a waste of potential.
Asato Hitomi didn't release his arm until they reached the infirmary door. She held onto him like a clingy new wife, and Kuroha Akira couldn't help but notice the pressure from her side... The class monitor was quite generously endowed herself.
The infirmary door stood open. They walked in to find the school nurse—who also served as the physical education teacher—sitting at her desk. Kuroha Akira had honestly forgotten her name.
But he remembered her. This teacher loved telling dirty jokes during PE class, which had left an impression. Combined with her notably petite figure—perhaps only 1.4 meters tall—she cut a distinctive figure. Her white coat hung on her like an oversized raincoat, which had led to her nickname: Loli-sensei.
They didn't call her "Loli-sensei" directly because that would make her furious. She'd shout, "Don't call me a loli! I'm already a mature lady!" So the students had cleverly shortened it to Loli-sensei, which she grudgingly accepted as an affectionate nickname.
Loli-sensei spotted Asato Hitomi and immediately bounced off her office chair with surprising energy, waving enthusiastically.
"Oh my! Isn't this our top student Asato-chan?" She bounded over. "Why are you in the infirmary during class? Is it your time of the month? I have not only sanitary pads but also spare panties here! Want to borrow some? Though if you wear them, they might feel like low-rise panties, hehe."
Sanitary pads were one thing. But spare panties? And based on what she said, they were her panties?! Don't give your own underwear to students to wear!
Kuroha Akira screamed internally.
Even with a male student present, she discussed menstruation so casually and dropped dirty jokes without hesitation. This was Loli-sensei in her natural habitat—the word "bottom line" didn't exist in her dictionary.
The class monitor, impressively, maintained her composure and kept smiling. She seemed entirely accustomed to Loli-sensei's loose tongue.
"It's not me who's unwell, Ono Junko-sensei." Asato Hitomi's voice remained perfectly level. "I'm accompanying Kuroha-san to the infirmary. He's not feeling well."
Ono Junko. So that was her name. She had no "big" elements whatsoever, while Loli-sensei was decidedly not "small" in terms of personality.
Finally noticing Kuroha Akira, Ono-sensei tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment. Then recognition sparked in her eyes, and she pointed at him excitedly.
"Ah! I know you! You're that problematic student Moto's always talking about, right?" She grinned. "Moto even came to ask me how to treat aphasia before! Unfortunately, I haven't studied psychotherapy—I only recommended a few books to her." She peered at him curiously. "So, you can speak now?"
So Ono Junko-sensei and Moto-sensei were old friends from their student days. The connection had continued into their professional lives—he remembered that Ono-sensei had actually recommended Moto-sensei for a position at this school.
Kuroha Akira hadn't known Moto-sensei had gone that far for him, asking about treatment for aphasia. She really was a good teacher who genuinely cared about her students.
"Yes, I've recovered."
"I also heard you apparently hit a classmate yesterday?" Ono-sensei leaned in, clearly enjoying the gossip. "Was it because of a girl? Ah, too bad I'm usually stuck in the infirmary—I didn't get to see such an interesting thing..."
She chattered on without pause, then her gaze flicked between Asato Hitomi and Kuroha Akira. Her eyes suddenly lit up with a new, mischievous spark.
"Ah! I know!" She gasped dramatically. "You must have fought another boy over Asato-chan, didn't you! And judging by the outcome, you won, right? So Asato-chan is yours exclusively now? Wow, you became a winner in life just like that!"
Does a teacher talk about her students like that?!
Kuroha Akira rolled his eyes so hard he nearly sprained something.
Even the class monitor's patience had limits. Her smile shifted from gentle to something distinctly more intimidating.
"Junko-sensei." Her voice was sweet, but her eyes weren't smiling. "I can get angry too, you know."
Loli-sensei immediately cowered under Asato Hitomi's intimidating smile, grabbing the class monitor's hand and backpedaling furiously with the desperation of a cat caught knocking things off shelves.
"Sorry, sorry! Don't be angry I was just making a little joke! I know Asato-chan is a good student who would never mess around like other students"
"Please fulfill your duty as the school nurse and properly examine Kuroha-san's physical condition." The class monitor's voice was ice wrapped in silk.
"Got it!"
Ono-sensei marched up to Kuroha Akira, planted her hands on her hips, and tilted her head back to look up at him—he towered a good three heads above her petite frame.
"Come on, let me see where you're hurt." She squinted suspiciously. "Your love rival didn't kick you in the balls, did he? Because if he did, Asato-chan's happiness for the rest of her life could be in serious trouble."
"...It's just sleep deprivation."
"Hmph! Then sit down!" She poked his leg insistently. "Are you looking down on me just because I'm short?!"
Still complaining, she delivered a sharp slap to his butt with her small hand—the impact was surprisingly solid for someone her size.
"..."
Kuroha Akira suddenly reevaluated his entire relationship with Moto-sensei. Sure, she was a bit hot-headed and clueless sometimes, but compared to Loli-sensei? Moto was practically a saint. A candidate for beatification.
"Sit here!"
Kuroha Akira obediently settled into the office chair Loli-sensei had just vacated. She immediately hopped up, flipped open his eyelids with practiced efficiency, and began examining his eyeballs like she was inspecting marbles.
"Hmm... Definitely just sleep deprivation. No symptoms of kidney deficiency." She nodded approvingly. "Didn't expect you to be such a gentleman, though. Holding back even while dating Asato-chan? If it were me, I would've long since—"
"Ono Junko-sensei." The class monitor's voice dropped several degrees. "Please be serious."
Loli-sensei visibly wilted again, shrinking under that terrifying aura. She shrugged sheepishly, let out two awkward laughs, and patted Kuroha Akira's back with exaggerated friendliness.
"Alright! Go lie down, kid! You'll be fine after a nap! I'll write you a note!"
Finally granted permission to use one of the infirmary beds, Kuroha Akira moved toward the curtained-off area. He'd just slipped off his indoor shoes and was about to thank the class monitor and tell her she could return to class when he heard the conversation outside.
"Then, I won't disturb you two." Loli-sensei's voice was practically singing. "You can use this room as you please."
"Ono-sensei." Asato Hitomi's tone was carefully controlled. "Where are you going?"
"I'll just slack off outside for a bit, hehe" The glee was unmistakable. "Ah, Asato-chan, you won't tattle on me, will you? I'll turn a blind eye in return, if you know what I mean"
"I don't understand what Ono-sensei is suggesting." The class monitor's voice was stone. "You might have some strange misunderstanding about our relationship."
"Oh, come on~ Don't play innocent with Loli-sensei!" The teacher's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper that still carried clearly through the curtain. "I understand everything. That boy just needs sleep, and you specifically followed him here—you're obviously planning to use the bed together, aren't you? The infirmary is a high-incidence zone for this kind of thing!"
"Kuroha-san and I are really not that kind of relationship." Asato Hitomi's voice was remarkably steady. "The school also prohibits impure opposite-sex interactions."
"Alright, alright, I know you're shy~" Loli-sensei was clearly not convinced. "Just don't make too much noise, okay? There are 'condoms' in the drawer if you need them. Although it might feel better without, Loli-sensei advises you to prioritize safety. Getting caught violating school rules is bad enough, but even with connections that could prevent expulsion, suspension is still on the table."
"Loli-sensei..."
"Loli-sensei will be back after two classes!" The teacher's voice was bright, cheerful, utterly unrepentant. "I'll hang a sign on the door, so you don't have to worry about anyone disturbing you. Hehe Well then, have a good time! Don't worry about dirtying the sheets—Loli-sensei will handle the cleanup. That's it! Bye-bye, Asato-chan"
Clang.
The door closed with ominous finality.
Kuroha Akira stared at the curtain, his brain struggling to process what had just happened.
Who exactly had hired this woman?!
And more importantly—was the class monitor actually going to stay now?