A/N: Discord -> https://discord.gg/Eyqxhg8RGS
Get access to all the illustrations I've made for this story, including SFW and NSFW ones. Some might spoilerish for future chapters.
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Dae Hee's POV:
Dae Hee's brain, her brilliant, strategic brain, had just blue-screened.
"Uh-oh."
She quickly pulled the menu up to hide how damn hot it was in that cafe. Seriously, was there no air conditioning? It was hot enough to melt a polar bear in here.
She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure, to reboot her system. "Do you really mean it?" And then she lowered the menu, just enough to peek over it.
"You think I'm lying?" Jae-il tilted his head, eyes crinkling in amusement.
Yes.
She did think he was lying.
Or at least, playing some sort of game with her.
"No..." Dae Hee managed to squeak out. "It's just... surprising."
She then looked at Jae-il, and he was looking right back. His gaze was open, honest, and without a hint of pity.
And that, more than anything, was what truly disarmed her.
It wasn't pity.
It was understanding.
And it was terrifying.
Because for the first time in a long time, Dae Hee felt seen.
And she had no idea what to do with it. The menu trembled in her hands.
He reached across the table, his fingers gently brushing against hers as he lowered the menu. The touch sent a jolt through her entire body. "So." He began in a soft tone. "Now that we've got that settled... tell me something, Dae Hee."
She blinked, her mind a complete and utter blank.
"Anything."
She continued trembling, her lips wiggling comically and awkwardly.
He tapped his chin, thoughtfully.
"For example. Hmm. Let's start with something simple. What's your favorite colour?"
"...Purple." Dae Hee replied on autopilot, not even thinking. It was the colour of his eyes. If you were to ask her that question a couple of months ago, she'd have replied with either red, or pink, or maybe even yellow.
Funny how even tiny, insignificant things like these can have a much bigger impact than anyone could predict.
"Books or movies?"
"Books."
"A good book can be an escape." He agreed, nodding. "Beach vacation or a trip to the mountains?"
"Mountains."
"Me too." He smiled. "So, what's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?"
Dae Hee's mind raced. She had a whole list of things she could say. She could tell him about the time she snuck into a restricted area of the school library, or the time she climbed to the roof of the school building just to see the sunrise. But none of it felt right.
Then, she thought of something. Something that was true. Something that was reckless, and stupid, and something that she'd never told anyone before.
"Once." She said, her voice cracking a little. He wore a serious frown, which melted into a helpless smile as soon as she spoke. "I wore mismatched socks to school."
He frowned, looked left and right, then wagged a finger back and forth. She blinked, leaning in, her ear perked up for whatever it was he was about to share. Jae-il leaned in close to her ear, and said. "Me too."
Dae Hee gasped, eyes widening. "No way, you really—"
"Shhh!" He shushed her, a finger on his lips. She shrunk down to the table, a little squeak escaping her. "It's a secret. I have a reputation to uphold. Do you know how many millions of endorsement deals I could lose if the world found out I'm a sock mismatcher?"
Dae Hee's laughter came out in a sudden, uncontrolled burst. Like, what the hell?
It was a real, genuine laugh. The kind that came from the belly, and not from the throat. The kind of laugh that she hadn't let out in years. It probably sounded ugly because she was totally unrestrained, laughing like a hyena in the middle of a quiet café. And some people were probably looking too. Neither of them gave a single fuck.
She laughed so hard that tears streamed down her face.
And she couldn't stop either. Ah, she knew how ridiculous the conversation had gotten. It was absurd, yet wonderful.
And Jae-il just sat there, a small, gentle smile on his face, watching her with that stupid, handsome grin that no doubt caught the attention of some girls a couple of tables over.
He waited for her to calm down, for the laughter to subside into little hiccups and sniffles.
"Well..." He said, once she had finally caught her breath. "I'm glad you're laughing at my secret. You're truly a hooligan, Dae Hee. This is pure hooliganism."
"I'm sorry." Dae Hee wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, her face flushed. "I don't know what came over me."
"It's good to see you laugh." He shrugged. "You should do it more often."
Dae Hee bit her lip, hanging her head low in shame.
Thankfully, the server came just in time with their order, placing down a slice of strawberry cake and two cups of coffee. She thought Jae-il didn't like coffee, but it turned out he didn't mind one from time to time.
The smell of coffee and strawberries filled the air. She relaxed.
"So... tell me more, Jae-il Oppa." Dae Hee took a sip of her coffee, feeling a little more confident now that the caffeinated liquid had made its way into her system. "What other dark secrets are you hiding from the world?" She prodded, a playful glint in her eyes.
"Dark secrets?" Jae-il leaned back, his expression thoughtful. "That's a very strong word."
"Isn't it, though?" She retorted, a smirk on her face. "Everyone has them. The question is, are you brave enough to share them with me?"
"Depends." He lifted his chin slightly. "Are you going to laugh at that one too?"
She shrunk a little, her gremlin-like grin trying too hard not to turn into a giggle. "I-I promise I won't."
"Hmm." Jae-il tasted the cake. Some of the frosting coated the left corner of his mouth. Dae Hee licked her lips. "This is really good."
"Of course, it is. I told you so." She preened, taking a bite of her own slice. "So, spill."
He tapped his chin with his fork. "Okay. You want a secret? Here's one." He leaned forward again. She did the same, if only to be closer to him, to catch a whiff of his cologne. "I once cried watching a movie."
Dae Hee gasped, mock-horror on her face. "No way! You? Crying? What movie?"
She could only imagine it must've been a movie about someone stabbing a football.
"A little animated movie about a robot who falls in love with a cleaning robot."
"WALL·E?" She blinked. The notion of Jae-il crying sounded so foreign, especially over an animated movie, yet it made him feel... more real, in a sense. "You cried during WALL·E?"
He nodded, his smile a tad playful, and a tad more nostalgic. "I was little, and the part where WALL·E thinks he's lost EVE... it got to me. It made me think about how lonely it must be, to be the only one of your kind, and to find someone, only to lose them. That kind of loneliness... it's a special kind of hell."
Dae Hee froze, her fork halfway to her mouth.
That single sentence hit her like a ton of bricks.
A special kind of hell.
He was talking about a cartoon robot, but he was talking about her.
"Is that so...?"
"Indeed." He took another sip of his coffee, his gaze distant. "But then they find each other again, and they hold hands, and it's all good. Happy endings and all that. Even for robots. Then again, as an animation director, you can't simply leave the little guy all broken and depressed at the end, now can you? Even if that's how life works, most of the time."
"No... I suppose you can't." She said, a little too quietly.
"I guess, that's why I always try to be like WALL·E." Jae-il added, his eyes crinkling. "He never gave up. No matter how many times he got crushed, he always got back up, and he always held on to the hope that he'd find his EVE again."
Dae Hee licked her lips. It was stupid, really, but—
"Do you... do you feel like you've found your own EVE?"
The question left her lips before she could stop herself. She didn't dare to look at his face as she asked it.
The straw swivelled between his fingertips. The fork hung loosely in the air as he pondered her words. "Hmmm." He tilted his head back, then smiled fondly. It was the kind of smile that could make a woman's heart stop. The kind that could make a woman throw away everything for him.
"Yeah, yeah... I believe I might have..." Jae-il trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes. "In a way." He then added, chuckling, before finally taking a bite of the cake in front of him.
Dae Hee didn't know why her chest felt tight. "I-is that so? I'm glad for you, then..."
"And how about you, Dae Hee?" Jae-il prodded her, lightly, eyes crinkled. "Do you have your own WALL·E?"
Her head snapped up, her eyes wide. "My... WALL·E?"
He nodded, encouragingly.
She looked down at the plate, at the fork still held in her hand. "Can you love and hate someone, at the same time, Oppa?"
"Hm..." His face became contemplative.
He put down his fork, then leaned his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together. "Well, I guess you could say that love is a funny thing. Sometimes we love what we shouldn't, and hate what we should." He wiped his mouth. "For example. A drug addict can love and hate their addiction, but the fact of the matter is they need it to function. That doesn't mean they don't recognize it as an issue. Or, they love their mother but hate that she nags at them. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"So... in the end, there's always a grey area..."
He shrugged.
"Doesn't have to be that way. Sometimes things are black and white, sometimes they're a million different colours. It all depends on how you perceive them, or the person perceives them. In your case, do you hate them more than you love them?"
"I... don't know..."
"Do you feel like you shouldn't love them?"
"I know I shouldn't love them."
He frowned. "So then it's your head telling you to hate, not your heart? Because you can't help what you feel, you know, even if it goes against what society tells you to be. Or, even, against your better judgment. Sometimes your head and your heart want different things. It can be conflicting as fuck."
Dae Hee had the sudden urge to look into Jae-il's mind, to understand how he viewed love, or anything that would make it more comprehensible. Instead, she sat in silence, trying to absorb what he'd said.
The waiter came and went, bringing a second cup of coffee for Dae Hee; she really needed it.
"I really don't know what to do." Dae Hee admitted, and honestly, it felt so weird being this vulnerable with the very same object of her hate, of her love, of her obsession.
"If it's any consolation..." He finished his drink. "I'm likely in a situation worse than yours."
His phone buzzed. He looked at it once, smiled, and put it away.
"..."
She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it as Jae-il stood up, pulling out his wallet. "I had a fun time, Dae Hee, but I've got to go..."
"Oh..."
Oh? Such a pathetic sound came out of her mouth.
"It's... fine."
It was not fine.
She wanted him to stay more.
To stay with her.
Dae Hee gritted her teeth as she watched him pull up to the counter and pay for the both of them. "Thank you." She said, softly.
They collected their things and, within a minute, found themselves standing outside the cafe.
So, this is where they parted?
Dae Hee had come battle-ready, and now was about to leave defeated, and not because they fought, or argued, or had any of those kinds of interactions she expected. But, for once in her life, she wished for time to stop so he could stay with her, just a bit longer.
She needed more.
She craved more of Jae-il.
She gulped nervously. Her fingers twitched. She was restless. She played a little with her hair, to calm herself down, to ground herself to reality.
"Oh, right. Almost forgot." Dae Hee looked up at Jae-il, who was now rummaging around his wallet, then... "Last time, you said you always watch my games. You don't know how much it means to me. So, I thought to myself, 'I should give her something to facilitate her new hobby of watching me kick ass on the pitch'. Aaand here you go."
An envelope.
"For my next match."
He said with a wink, handing it to her.
"..."
Her mouth felt dry.
Dae Hee opened the envelope. And stared at the ticket for what felt like an eternity.
"Thank you... Oppa."
Jae-il chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I'll be seeing you then?" He said, patting her on the head. She looked at him, dumbly nodding her head.
"Take care, Dae Hee."
He waved.
Dae Hee watched him go until he disappeared around a corner.
Once he was gone, she finally released a long sigh, one she didn't realize she was holding. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment, and she turned away, back in the direction of home. "My WALL·E, huh?" She murmured to herself. "WALL·E." And even tried to imitate EVE's voice and beeping sounds, despite how stupid it was, as she walked down the sidewalk, head bowed.
But she smiled to herself, in a sad and resigned way.
She liked that movie too.