A shift could be subtle, loud, temporary or permanent.
Even with everything running smoothly at the establishment, and his relationship with Amy unfolding with unexpected ease, Malcolm felt himself shrinking a little more each day.
Life had become a habit. A routine.And for Malcolm, routine had always meant being needed.
Now, every turn he took through the building reminded him of how much he had carried and how much of it had never actually been required.
The truth was uncomfortable in its simplicity:no one needed him right now.
It had been days since anyone had asked him for anything, and the world hadn't burst into flames. But he was fading with the clouds.
The schedule was finalized and approved.The decorations glowed with the enchanting elegance Amy had envisioned.The performers were warming up backstage, nerves and excitement humming in equal measure.Guests were already seated in the hall, anticipation thick in the air.
Yet Malcolm didn't feel like the host tonight. He felt like an impostor.
He bet that Amy never felt like a stranger in her own crowd since her every step is envisioned and measured. Plus, Amy was the one who had been up before dawn and awake long after midnight for days now. She knew the event inside and out- knew it better than he did. At some point, without meaning to, he'd lost the thread.
He felt like a head with no direction.
Was he jealous of Amy?
Yes.
Would he choose it any other way?
No.
Leadership had never come naturally to him. He'd learned it the way one learned survival by necessity. Somewhere along the way, he'd mistaken endurance for identity. Watching Amy step into the role with such ease made him question what, exactly, his place had ever been.
Amy was backstage with the dancers, discussing how to captivate the audience even more. Elijah and April were at the reception, coordinating with students, laughing through last-minute hiccups.
Malcolm stood alone in the hall.
Even small talk with potential donors felt impossible. The noise, the expectation, the weight of the moment- it pressed in on him from every side.
He didn't want to be there.
Minutes before the event was set to begin, he spotted Madam Boy seated with the other tenants.
Something in him stilled.
He crossed the room without thinking.
She was startled when she saw him, then smiled- warm, instinctive- she hugged him back when he folded into her arms.
"There, there," she whispered when she felt him soften against her. "Is it too much, being here?"
Malcolm nodded.
"That's understandable," she said gently. "It's overwhelming for most of us. Have faith in the Lord... He is greater than your fear, greater than your reasoning."
Malcolm sniffed, trying to steady himself. Madam Boy stiffened slightly when realization stroke.
"Malcolm, baby?" she called hesitantly.
That was it.
He hugged her tighter.
"I can't do this, Mom," he cried.
Madam Boy only smiled, brushing his back. "Of course you can. I've seen you survive far worse. But if you don't want to do whatever this is... Then don't."
Her words landed softly, but they cracked something open.
Malcolm pulled away abruptly, heart pounding, and walked straight backstage.
Amy looked up, surprised to see him there so close to showtime. Before she could reach for her phone, Malcolm lifted her chin gently, forcing her to see his face.
"I'm not going to host the event," he said quietly. "I need time. Time alone. I need to figure myself out."
Amy froze- caught between responsibility and understanding. But she knew him well enough to recognize the courage it took to say that out loud.
Good thing Andrea was nearby.
Amy signed to her quickly. You think you can do this?
Andrea's face lit up. She nodded eagerly and hurried toward the stage.
Amy smiled at her enthusiasm, then turned back to Malcolm and kissed him softly- just once.
Can I go with you? she typed.
Malcolm shook his head, then gestured toward the stairs, where Madam Boy stood waving at Amy with an unguarded smile.
"I'll come find you later tonight."
I'll be waiting.But… does she remember you?
Malcolm's smile was sad, tender.
"I don't know," he admitted.
There were no guarantees when it came to his mother.