"Metaphysics and divination involve a person's destiny. Revealing too much can lead to heavenly retribution."
In truth, this kind of minor heavenly retribution would affect an ordinary fortune-teller, but for a max-level master like Shen Zhiyao, it was a mere annoyance.
She simply felt that three readings were enough. Any more would be too time-consuming, and she needed to focus on her cultivation.
"I will now select today's first lucky viewer."
Shen Zhiyao selected a user named "NoMoreSimping," and a big, burly, rough-looking man appeared on the screen.
The background was a spartan room, and in front of him sat a half-eaten tub of instant noodles.
Seeing he'd been chosen, NoMoreSimping leaped up in excitement. "Is it me? Is it me? They really picked me! I'm so lucky!"
After a moment's hesitation, he added, "Streamer, I just want to confirm—if the reading isn't accurate, there's no charge, right?"
Shen Zhiyao nodded. "Of course. You can also pay after the reading is done."
With that, she pulled out a QR code she had gone out of her way to print earlier that day. "Don't send gifts through the platform. Just scan my WeChat payment code directly."
The moment she finished speaking, the live stream suddenly went black.
Before Shen Zhiyao could figure out what had happened, a system notification popped up on her phone:
[Douyin Live Stream Alert: You have engaged in soliciting off-platform payments. Please review and correct your conduct before resuming your stream. (Warning: Repeated violations will result in a ban of your live stream account!)]
Shen Zhiyao glanced at the QR code in her hand, recalled what she had just said, and instantly understood. She sighed, "What a waste. There goes my one yuan!"
Tossing away the QR code that had caused the violation, Shen Zhiyao started her live stream again.
The viewer count had dropped sharply due to the sudden interruption, but it wasn't a major issue.
[What just happened? Why did the stream suddenly cut out?]
[I work on Douyin's backend team, let me explain. The streamer violated the rules. You can't show a payment code during a stream because the platform takes a 50% cut of all gift revenue. If every streamer did this, how would Douyin make any money?!]
[Hahahaha, so the streamer tried to bypass the platform fee and almost got herself banned.]
[The streamer's so good at divination, how come she didn't see this coming?]
What Shen Zhiyao didn't mention was that she could peer into the destinies of others and see events about to unfold in their lives, but she couldn't perform a reading for herself.
If she really could, she wouldn't have recklessly informed the Emperor of the truth, which led to 108 Cultivators summoning a heavenly thunderbolt that struck her dead on the spot.
If she could have truly read her own future, she could have remained in the Cultivation World as the State Preceptor and enjoyed a lifetime of prosperity.
"My apologies, everyone. I did indeed violate the rules just now. We'll reconnect now."
Reconnecting with NoMoreSimping, Shen Zhiyao got straight to the point. "NoMoreSimping, what would you like me to read?"
NoMoreSimping slurped another mouthful of noodles and asked expectantly, "Can you tell me when my goddess will marry me?"
Shen Zhiyao was blunt. "Your girlfriend will never marry you. She's just stringing you along for money."
CRASH! The tub of noodles fell from the man's hands, splashing all over the table.
Both embarrassed and furious, he pointed at the screen and yelled, "What the hell are you talking about? If you don't know how to do a reading, then get lost! My girlfriend loves me! Who are you to curse us? She loves me so much, how could she only be in it for the money? Do I look rich to you? What money could she possibly scam from me!"
"You and your girlfriend met online, and you've never met in person, correct?" Shen Zhiyao asked.
"We did meet online, that's true, but we've seen each other! We were just on a video call!"
Hearing her correctly identify that it was an online relationship, NoMoreSimping felt a vague sense of dread but still tried to argue his point.
"We met online, but we've seen each other on video calls. Streamer, you got it wrong. That means I don't have to pay, right?"
Shen Zhiyao sighed. "In a sense, you two have met. In fact, you see each other every day."
NoMoreSimping missed the implication in her words and said proudly, "Exactly! My girlfriend and I video chat every day."
Shen Zhiyao suddenly asked, "Do you really think the person in the video is the same as the person in real life?"
NoMoreSimping froze for a second. "Streamer, what do you mean?"
Shen Zhiyao pressed on, "You work three jobs a day. Don't you give all the money you earn to your girlfriend?"
NoMoreSimping quickly explained, "I do give it to my girlfriend, but it's for our future! My girlfriend said she's worried I'll spend it recklessly, so I have to give her half of my earnings every month. She's saving it up for when we get married."
[Bro, are you an idiot? You're just in an online relationship and you're already giving her all your money.]
[You treat her like a goddess, but she treats you like a simp! The kind of simp she doesn't even have to meet, who pays up month after month!]
[Streamer, we've got a love-struck fool here, hurry up and talk some sense into him!]
[Dude, as someone who's been there, let me give you some sincere advice: a woman who's always asking you for money is bad news. You should just break up with her.]
[What are you talking about? If they're planning to get married, what's wrong with the man earning the money and the woman managing it? It's all for the family.]
The expression on NoMoreSimping's face was a sight to behold. He had come to ask when he would marry his girlfriend, not to listen to people bad-mouthing her.
Just as he was about to fly into a rage, he heard Shen Zhiyao say, "You live with a roommate, don't you? Your roommate will be back soon. Find a chance to look at his phone, and you'll understand everything."
No sooner had she spoken than his roommate returned.
The newcomer was a slim, fair-skinned young man. While not a peerless beauty, his looks were definitely first-class and striking.
Life isn't easy for the working class; to save money, many people choose to have roommates.
After greeting NoMoreSimping, the roommate went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Using the excuse of needing the toilet, NoMoreSimping also went into the bathroom. When he came out, he had his roommate's phone.
The phone had a passcode. He tried three times but couldn't unlock it.
On the fourth try, he suddenly thought of his girlfriend and, on a whim, entered her birthday.
Unlock successful!
'Why would my roommate's phone passcode be my girlfriend's birthday?'
'Could my girlfriend and my roommate be related somehow? Relatives? Friends? Brother and sister? Or maybe... my roommate saw how beautiful my girlfriend is and hit on her?'
Filled with doubt, NoMoreSimping unlocked the phone.
And there, at a glance, he saw his own messages.
He opened the chat history and saw the message he had just sent to his "girlfriend":
[Wifey, are you off work yet? You said you weren't getting enough sleep, so I won't bother you today. Go to bed early, wifey. Love ya~]
Scrolling up, he saw their chat history and the monthly money transfers he sent to his "girlfriend".
He had just considered so many possibilities, but he never, ever imagined the truth would be this!
'No wonder this fucking idiot always had an excuse for not adding me as a friend. He'd already added me while pretending to be a woman!'
'Thinking back on his roommate's excuses now, they were full of holes.'
In the past, even though they video-chatted every day, his "girlfriend" rarely spoke.
Once, NoMoreSimping had asked why her voice was like that, and the other person had just replied that her vocal cords were damaged, even using it as an excuse to repeatedly ask him for money.
NoMoreSimping was so deeply in love, he never suspected a thing.
Only now did it belatedly dawn on him: the girlfriend in the videos was his roommate.
'So... that's why my "girlfriend" had that voice.'
"MOTHERFUCKER..."