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Chapter 1 - The Ceremony of Shame

Thessa's POV

 

My hand is shaking.

I hide it behind my back as I walk toward the stone platform where Alpha Cadeirin waits. Three hundred wolves watch me. Their eyes feel like knives against my skin.

"Smile, Thessa," my mother hissed at me before I left our house. "You're about to become Luna. Don't embarrass us."

But I can't smile. My stomach feels sick. Something is wrong. I've felt it all day—this cold, empty feeling in my chest where excitement should be.

Cadeirin stands tall on the platform. He's handsome in his ceremonial clothes—all black leather and silver buttons that catch the moonlight. His dark hair is perfect. His jaw is strong. Every she-wolf in the pack wants him.

And the Moon chose me to be his mate.

Me. Thessa Rowan. The quiet herbalist who spends her days collecting plants in the forest. The girl who's good at healing cuts and making tea, but not much else.

I still don't understand why the Moon would choose someone like me for someone like him.

The Priestess stands between us, ancient and wrinkled, wearing robes the color of starlight. In her hands, she holds the Binding Cord—a silver rope that glows with divine magic.

"Come, child," the Priestess says softly.

I climb the steps. My legs feel weak. When I reach the top, I'm close enough to smell Cadeirin's cologne—pine and smoke. He doesn't look at me. His eyes are fixed somewhere over my head.

"Give me your hand," the Priestess says.

I extend my right hand. It's still shaking. The Priestess takes it gently, her skin dry and papery. Then she reaches for Cadeirin's hand.

He hesitates. Just for a second. But I see it.

Fear shoots through me, ice cold.

"Alpha Cadeirin," the Priestess says firmly. "Your hand."

He gives it to her. His face is carved from stone—no expression at all.

The Priestess wraps the Binding Cord around our joined hands, looping it three times. The silver rope should glow brighter with each loop. That's what happens when true mates are bound. The Moon blesses the union with light and warmth that everyone can see.

"Moon Goddess, Mother of Wolves," the Priestess begins the ancient prayer. "We bring before you two souls connected by your divine wisdom. Alpha Cadeirin Nightshade and Thessa Rowan. Bless this bond. Make it strong. Make it eternal."

She pulls the cord tight.

Nothing happens.

No light. No warmth. No tingling sensation that my mother described when she was bound to my father.

Just... nothing.

I stare at our hands wrapped in the silver cord. It looks dull. Dead. Like regular rope instead of divine magic.

The crowd murmurs. Low voices, confused and worried.

"Again," the Priestess says, her voice strained. She unwraps the cord and starts over. "Moon Goddess, hear our prayer—"

Nothing.

My heart pounds so hard I can hear it in my ears. Cadeirin's hand is stiff in mine. He still won't look at me.

"This isn't possible," the Priestess whispers. Her face has gone pale. She tries a third time, her hands shaking now as she wraps the cord.

Nothing.

The murmuring in the crowd gets louder. Someone laughs nervously. Someone else gasps.

"What's happening?" a voice calls out.

"Why isn't it working?" another demands.

The Priestess drops the Binding Cord. It falls between us, silver and lightless. She stares at me with wide, horrified eyes.

"Moonless," she breathes.

The word hits me like a punch to the stomach.

Moonless. A wolf abandoned by the goddess. A wolf so worthless that even the Moon herself refuses to bless them.

"No," I whisper. "No, that can't be right—"

Cadeirin rips his hand away from mine so fast I stumble. He wipes his palm on his pants like my touch made him dirty.

"The Moon has rejected this bond," he announces, his voice loud and cold. It carries across the silent crowd. "I will not bind myself to a wolf forsaken by the divine."

The world tilts. I can't breathe.

"Cadeirin, please—" I reach for him.

He steps back. "Don't touch me."

Three hundred wolves stare at me. I see shock on their faces. Disgust. Pity. My mother has her hand pressed to her mouth. My father looks at the ground, refusing to meet my eyes.

"I don't understand," I say, my voice breaking. "The mate bond—I felt it. I know you're my mate. The Moon chose us—"

"The Moon chose nothing." Cadeirin's blue eyes are ice cold. "You're Moonless, Thessa. You're cursed. Broken. I will not tie myself to damaged goods."

Each word is a knife in my chest.

The crowd's murmur becomes a roar. Wolves talking over each other, their voices sharp with judgment.

"Moonless at her age?"

"How is that possible?"

"Her poor family..."

"The shame of it..."

Tears burn my eyes but I won't let them fall. Not here. Not in front of everyone.

"You have until dawn to leave Silverpaw Territory," Cadeirin says, his voice formal now. Official. This is my Alpha speaking, not the man who was supposed to be my mate. "After that, you'll be considered rogue. And we hunt rogues."

He's banishing me. For something I don't understand. For something that isn't my fault.

"Brother Alpha!"

A sweet voice cuts through the chaos. I turn to see my younger sister, Maren, pushing through the crowd. She's beautiful tonight—her dark hair perfect, her dress expensive. She climbs the steps with tears streaming down her pretty face.

"Brother Alpha," she says again, her voice trembling. "Please, don't punish my sister. This isn't her fault."

Something about her voice sounds wrong. Too practiced. Too perfect.

Maren reaches the platform and stands close to Cadeirin. Too close. Her hand touches his arm gently.

"Perhaps..." she says softly, looking up at him through wet lashes. "Perhaps the Moon Goddess made a mistake? Thessa and I are blood. We're sisters. Maybe..." She takes a shaky breath. "Maybe the blessing was meant for me instead?"

The crowd goes silent.

Cadeirin looks down at Maren. Something passes between them—a look I don't understand at first. Then I see it. Recognition. Familiarity.

They've looked at each other like this before.

"No," I whisper.

Maren reaches for Cadeirin's hand. The Priestess, still shaking, picks up the Binding Cord with trembling fingers.

"If the young Alpha wishes," the Priestess says quietly, "we can test this theory."

"Do it," Cadeirin says immediately. He doesn't even hesitate.

The Priestess wraps the cord around their joined hands.

It glows.

Not bright—not like the stories say true mates should glow. But there's light. Faint silver. Just enough.

The crowd erupts in surprised voices.

I can't move. Can't think. Can't breathe.

Maren turns to look at me over her shoulder. And she smiles.

It's not a sad smile. Not an apologetic smile.

It's triumphant.

"I'm so sorry, sister," she says, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear. But her eyes tell a different story. Her eyes say: I won.

Understanding crashes over me like freezing water.

This was planned.

Maren wanted this. She orchestrated this somehow. The failed bond. The public humiliation. Everything.

My own sister destroyed me.

"The ceremony will continue," Cadeirin announces. "The Moon has chosen Maren Rowan as my Luna."

The crowd cheers. Actually cheers. Like this is wonderful news instead of the worst moment of my life.

I stand alone on the platform while everyone celebrates around me. My sister takes my place. My mate—who was supposed to be mine—chooses her instead.

No one looks at me.

I'm invisible. Already forgotten.

I turn and walk down the steps. My legs move without thinking. I push through the crowd. Wolves step back, not wanting to touch me. Like being Moonless is contagious.

I walk past my parents. My mother is crying quietly. My father still won't look at me.

I walk past the houses I've known my whole life. Past the gardens. Past the pack training grounds.

I walk toward the forest. Toward the north. Toward the Frostlands where exiled wolves go to die.

Behind me, music starts playing. The ceremony continues. They're dancing. Celebrating.

And I am nothing.

As I reach the tree line, I hear footsteps behind me. Soft. Quick.

I turn.

Maren stands there, alone, the celebration lights behind her making her look like an angel.

But angels don't smile like that.

"You actually thought he'd choose you?" she says, her voice sweet as poison. "You actually believed you were good enough for an Alpha?"

"Why?" My voice cracks. "I'm your sister. I've never hurt you. Why would you—"

"Because I'm better," Maren says simply. "I'm prettier. Smarter. Stronger. I should have been Luna. Not you." She steps closer. "So I made sure the Moon agreed with me."

My blood runs cold. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you can prove." Maren examines her perfect nails. "But here's the truth, sister: I've been sleeping with Cadeirin for three months. Since before you even knew about the mate bond. He's mine. He's always been mine."

The words don't make sense. They can't be true.

"You're lying—"

"Ask him yourself," Maren says, still smiling. "Oh wait. You can't. Because you're banished." She leans in close, her breath hot against my ear. "Run far, Thessa. Run fast. Because if you're still here at dawn, Cadeirin won't just hunt you. I'll make sure he kills you."

She walks away, humming to herself.

Back toward the lights. The music. The celebration of everything she stole from me.

I stand in the darkness, shaking, destroyed.

Then I turn north.

And I run.

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